There is something you may not know about me
It's something I have had to deal with since I was a child.
I suffer from a fairly mild form of dyspraxia.
Dyspraxia, for those that don't know is a disorder of coordinating certain movements.
It used to be referred to as being " cack handed"
I fell out of my crocs this morning. Admittedly it was on a particularly muddy piece of ground during a particularly heavy rainstorm, but out of my crocs I came and down into the mud I went.
I was still in my pyjama bottoms at the time!
Invariably my dyspraxia is mostly confined to clumsy behaviours. I will drop things, fail to judge distances when moving items and will always catch my head on cupboard doors.
I constantly run into shelves when pushing supermarket trolleys, overbalance when trying to get my leg into a pair of underpants and decanting things like rice, peas, flour and sugar is fraught with the knowledge that at some time rice, peas, flour and sugar will be flung over the floor or the counter tops like confetti!
My clumsiness constantly irritates me as in most cases, a fraction before it happens, I know just what is going to happen. It's almost as if I have a brain fart just before the peas are unleashed or I turn on muddy ground.
Today I was not only irritated but very embarrassed, as I had to totter back into the house with a huge brown arse stain on the back of my pants.
It's something I have had to deal with since I was a child.
I suffer from a fairly mild form of dyspraxia.
Dyspraxia, for those that don't know is a disorder of coordinating certain movements.
It used to be referred to as being " cack handed"
I fell out of my crocs this morning. Admittedly it was on a particularly muddy piece of ground during a particularly heavy rainstorm, but out of my crocs I came and down into the mud I went.
I was still in my pyjama bottoms at the time!
Invariably my dyspraxia is mostly confined to clumsy behaviours. I will drop things, fail to judge distances when moving items and will always catch my head on cupboard doors.
I constantly run into shelves when pushing supermarket trolleys, overbalance when trying to get my leg into a pair of underpants and decanting things like rice, peas, flour and sugar is fraught with the knowledge that at some time rice, peas, flour and sugar will be flung over the floor or the counter tops like confetti!
My clumsiness constantly irritates me as in most cases, a fraction before it happens, I know just what is going to happen. It's almost as if I have a brain fart just before the peas are unleashed or I turn on muddy ground.
Today I was not only irritated but very embarrassed, as I had to totter back into the house with a huge brown arse stain on the back of my pants.
It's interesting that you feel it coming on -- like your brain is sending a message. I've heard of dyspraxia but I never knew what it was, exactly. We have books about it here in the library.
ReplyDeleteYes. I just kinda know, I'm going to fuck up that particular movement
DeleteIs it related to Dyslexia? I know that Dyslexic people can be cack-handed. Glad to see that your arse got a mention today.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYes the prof is convinced I have a degree of dyslexia, which could explain my atrocious spelling
DeleteI meant to say my husband is both dyslexic and dyspraxic but bloody autocorrect changed dyspraxic to dyslexic (perhaps it too is dyslexic)
DeleteYes, I believe they are both connected one way or the other. Autocorrects - on the other hand - are just plain stupid.
DeleteWho screams first when you have the syringe in hand and are stabding over a patient and you begin to lurch forwards ..
ReplyDeleteI have developed certain strategies at work when working with drawing up Iv drugs or when I reposition lines or move patients....I still often catch my feet and body in cables etc but have learned to move slowly so I don't jar anything too much
DeleteI was wondering about that, too, Rachel.
DeleteI was wondering about that, too, Rachel.
DeleteI was wondering about that, too, Rachel.
DeleteI now have an image of you wrenching someone's blood-drip out of them with your foot as you tumble into the tray of meds - with your arse exposed - John.
DeleteNorman Wisdom!
DeleteI've been pretty lucky but as a student nurse I did drop an 18th month baby on it's arse.....( it was fine)
DeleteArgh, I dropped my cousin's baby on its head sort of, when I was about 16. I didn't fasten the pram onto its wheelbase properly and when I pushed it down the kerb, the top shot out and landed on its end with the baby in it! I screamed my head off. Needless to say the adorable man who grew up from that baby loves to remind me!
DeleteUm - that's me too. Apart from the cupboard door thing - too short for that to be an issue. I've always put my clumsiness, balance problems down to a) firework burns in one eye giving me a huge blind spot and b) several inner ear infections messing with my balance.
ReplyDeleteBut things have worsened a bit since my suspected mini stroke / labarynthitis last year. Sometimes have trouble handling small, fiddly stuff like pens and needles, and my ability to tip up for no reason means I can't go to the allotment on my own, and my strange staircase panic means I now stick to shops with lifts or escalators.
I am a terrible dancer too..which makes the diagnosis a little clearer
DeleteBlue Shed/John
DeleteUnlurking to say years of dealing with the aftermath of labrynthitis and dyspraxia I have been diagnosed with a vestibular disorder. I do all the above with the added attractiveness of slurred speech. I have been told to try tai chi or any form of exercise that makes you think hard about moving slowly, smoothly and deliberately. The physio also gave me exercises based around shifting your body weight from one side to the other, and onto the heels then balls of the foot. I'm looking like someone in slo-mo but by golly, it is helping me lurch less :)
I first heard about someone being cack handed when I met Grant's English parents. I just thought it was an insult. Now I know...
ReplyDeleteIt is not the most pleasant thing to say and would only be said to describe amongst close friends in a jokey way these days, if used at all.
DeleteMy mother always referred to me as crack handed....daily
DeleteSorry, John, I laughed.
ReplyDeleteLike a drain.
Thank you, I needed that.
My nephew has dyspraxia too, a birth problem, I believe.
Luckily he is not a nurse. Oh yes, errm, you are.....ooops
x
There is no reason to be embarrassed. We are all dealing with something, whether physical, emotional, or mental that intrudes on our abilities in everyday life. The good thing is you fell in the mud and not cement.
ReplyDeleteIt does not seem to hold you back, I wouldn't take up juggling swords if I was you.
ReplyDeleteI did wonder how it affected you at work but you seem to have been able to work around that.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this. I've enjoyed your comic-sounding stories of slips and falls and drops. I never knew there could possibly be a serious (mild in your case) condition behind it. Scary. Glad you only hurt your pride... and your pyjamas.
ReplyDeletethis explains a lot.
ReplyDeleteThe brown stained arse would be a bit embarrassing, I must admit . . .
ReplyDeleteBUT . . . I am sure those watching from afar enjoyed every minute!
I am terrible.. this made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteInteresting ... I seem to have a bit of that myself. My family used to call me "Grace." It's worse since I went 'over the hill.'
ReplyDeleteGood God, man, couldn't you have landed on your knees, just this once?
So that's what's wrong with me.
ReplyDeleteAha. So that's what I have! Methinks you have company.
ReplyDeleteWe've all got something.
ReplyDeleteI'm just clumsy. My sister says I have no concept of how I fit into the space around me. No one ever tagged me with dyspraxia. I suppose it's too late now.
ReplyDeleteI think I had it as a kid.
ReplyDeleteHeaven though you've had a stroke you still would have it, It never leaves you
DeleteI can't really say if I was clumsy or not
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit uncoordinated. I wonder if that's the same thing.
ReplyDeleteOne reason I was a big Jerry Lewis fan growing up.
I'm more Norman wisdom
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIs this just a convoluted excuse to avoid admitting that you shat your pants while tending to things over at The Ukrainian Village?
ReplyDeleteOh YP Yea of little faith ! ( I've done that before)
DeleteThere's a name for it? I thought I was just a klutz.
ReplyDeleteMy bit of advice would be to ditch the crocs. They have been your downfall several times, if I recall correctly. Love your stories, I wish I were a neighbor. x
ReplyDeleteI too would suggest running shoes instead of crocs (I know, they're not as easy to slip into!). I don't have dyspraxia but I'm not very athletic, and wearing supportive footwear makes a huge difference. I suppose we wouldn't get as many entertaining stories, but we don't really want you getting a concussion or a twisted knee, either!
ReplyDeleteHear Hear
DeleteI do admire the way John that you manage to always make light of anything. Your last sentence just lightens the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteIt is a horrible thing to have because it is one of those conditions the people just do not understand.
You are so not alone. And I often have bruised shoulders from misjudging where door jambs are. Not dyslexic though as far as I know.
ReplyDeleteI shall just have to call you Jack Douglas - wu-hay!!! Sorry you fell over and dirtied your PJ's.
ReplyDeleteWhat a nuisance for you John! Because I'm a specialist reading Recovery teacher, I'm often the one who first identifies dyslexia/dyspraxia issues in children. Many of them are boys, they often have social difficulties because they don't enjoy ball games. All of them get frustrated because doing basic things is so much more difficult. In the past, they were referred to as 'floppy babies' because the symptoms appear early in life as a lack of coordination or muscular control. There are lots of therapeutic treatments that help, but the most important thing is to be patient and appreciative of their efforts.... which are much greater than their peers!
ReplyDeleteMy husband was sent to a neurologist who put him through balance and walking tests. The outcome? The doctor said "You'd never pass a drunk test." Why, thank you very much Sir Doctor. Joe will reach for something with his fingers, and knock it to the floor with the TIP of his fingers. He misses everything he's reaching for. He stumbles, loses his balance, and falls. Now I have to look up dyspraxia. Of course it will describe him, but most google searches describe every one of us.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Radcliffe is a fellow sufferer i believe.
ReplyDeleteI actually think your spelling is good but you make typos, which would be a dyspraxia thing. But the Prof would know more than I do.
ReplyDeleteMy neuro disorder means I stagger like a drunk sailor. Social hugs are really hard to get right.
It sounds like you have a lot of good coping strategies but I'm still sorry you have to deal with it
xo
I've got it as well. It can be a bugger but it gives us a different perspective on life because it alters our thinking - I think for the better. x
ReplyDeleteI agree Lovelygrey, the kids I teach with the dyslexia/dyspraxia tendency (they're too young mostly to be formally assessed quite yet) often have amazing verbal abilities, and reason very maturely.
DeleteI thought it was only me! Here in Belfast it's referred to as futless! I can't tell were my feet are if I cant see them so driving dancing and swimming are out. I also have cupboards full of chipped crockery.... can't judge distance well so I miss the edge of the table occasionally...but the biggest pain in the arse is that despite years of trying I just can't touch type!
ReplyDeleteI had exactly the same experience wearing Crocs in mud. Crocs suction stuck in the mud. I turned, Crocs did not. I landed flat on my back in the mud. I could have made mud angels instead of snow angels while laying there. Getting up was the devil.
ReplyDeletePoor you John.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is dyslexic, dyspraxic & left handed. She was so frustrated she gave her bike which she couldn't ride to her little brother. We went to a marvellous place & after a year or so of doing exercises for co-ordination she improved so much she could ride a bike & balance on logs on forest walks. She has overcome so many difficulties & we are incredibly proud of her.
Not much fun, by the sound of it. But it makes me realise that in future when I see someone being clumsy or accident-prone, that could be the explanation.
ReplyDeleteDoes your twin sister have this as well?
ReplyDeleteJohn, I think the moral of this is - don't wear your crocks out of doors !
ReplyDeleteOh dear John. No need to be embarassed though. I'm not dyspraxic but can trip over a crack in the pavement (and have done).
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI love your blog. Very funny. Stay away from Crocs. If you want to turn your running shoes into slip-ons. Try these. My grandson loves them.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00UCENYAW/ref=od_aui_detailpages01?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Hello from North Dakota.
Oh you poor thing! It must be reasonably serious for you to be diagnosed, more than the average cackhandedness. Bit naughty of me but I shall be going about my morning with random fits of the giggles over this - I cannot lose the mental picture of you having a clumsy moment and dropping a patient. Sorry! But I am laughing and that's never a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteI think my Lovely Hubby has this too, although it's never been diagnosed as such, but if there's something to bump into or fall over he's there and doing it, and if I let him loose in the kitchen I know there will be more spilt coffee/rice/oats etc on the worktop than there will be in the pan.
ReplyDeleteI'm used to one minute talking to him as we walk side by side and the next moment he's down on the floor ... I just say 'are you okay' grabbing whichever dog lead he's dropped and then carrying on with whatever I was saying.