Now I feel, I may need to clarify something here
I'm not always a nice person.
When the mood takes me, I can be a real c*#t , especially when I am tired.
It's almost as though my inner gay drama queen/waspish bitch troll-from-hell takes over from that skipping Mary Berry/ Laura Ingles persona that I like to think I am for most of my waking hours.
Earlier today I felt like a real knock-down, gouge out yer eyeballs slap fest.
I was tired, this morning. On my break at four am, I had just fell into a doze over a peanut butter-on-toast sandwich, when a visiting colleague entered the coffee lounge and proceeded to tell me all about their new kitchen ( completed with a boiling water hose for washing the friggin skin from tomatoes!)
I covered my face with a Hello magazine and prayed for death!
Suffice to say my break turned out as restful as the latest Trump/ Clinton debate.
When I got home I caught a very large beer Lorry stuck at the corner outside our cottage. The driver had ignored signs stating very clearly the unsuitability of the road and had taken a chance to shortcut his journey.
He was scraping the top layer from our wall when I marched forward like Bodicia, with hypertension.
" BRING DOWN ONE PIECE OF THAT WALL AND THERE WILL BE TROUBLE!"
I yelled holding onto a yard brush
The neighbours came out to watch!
" Keep your wig on grandad ! the driver yelled back just before his tattooed co driver cooed out the killer blow of " Calm yourself sweetcheeks"
WIG? G R A N D A D ?
FUCKING SWEETCHEEKS! ?
I thought I was going to have a stroke I was that angry.
Luckily , Mike, who lives down the lane intervened and with his guidance and with millimetres to spare the Lorry pushed forward, just as I hurried into the cottage for my iPad camera to record the debacle.
Out with anger
In with love..........
Off to bed....
NO ONE RING ME!!!!!!
I'm not always a nice person.
When the mood takes me, I can be a real c*#t , especially when I am tired.
It's almost as though my inner gay drama queen/waspish bitch troll-from-hell takes over from that skipping Mary Berry/ Laura Ingles persona that I like to think I am for most of my waking hours.
Earlier today I felt like a real knock-down, gouge out yer eyeballs slap fest.
I was tired, this morning. On my break at four am, I had just fell into a doze over a peanut butter-on-toast sandwich, when a visiting colleague entered the coffee lounge and proceeded to tell me all about their new kitchen ( completed with a boiling water hose for washing the friggin skin from tomatoes!)
I covered my face with a Hello magazine and prayed for death!
Suffice to say my break turned out as restful as the latest Trump/ Clinton debate.
When I got home I caught a very large beer Lorry stuck at the corner outside our cottage. The driver had ignored signs stating very clearly the unsuitability of the road and had taken a chance to shortcut his journey.
He was scraping the top layer from our wall when I marched forward like Bodicia, with hypertension.
" BRING DOWN ONE PIECE OF THAT WALL AND THERE WILL BE TROUBLE!"
I yelled holding onto a yard brush
The neighbours came out to watch!
" Keep your wig on grandad ! the driver yelled back just before his tattooed co driver cooed out the killer blow of " Calm yourself sweetcheeks"
WIG? G R A N D A D ?
FUCKING SWEETCHEEKS! ?
I thought I was going to have a stroke I was that angry.
Luckily , Mike, who lives down the lane intervened and with his guidance and with millimetres to spare the Lorry pushed forward, just as I hurried into the cottage for my iPad camera to record the debacle.
Out with anger
In with love..........
Off to bed....
NO ONE RING ME!!!!!!
pmsl...must be the weather ,I had a Sharon Osbourne moment with the munchkin last night at bedtime , not helped by the bleedin 7 year old monster commenting . What does T*** mean
ReplyDeleteI think I made up sweet CHEEKS
DeleteI THINK HE ACTUALLY SAID " sweetie" which on reflection sounds worst
blimey! what fucking idiots (work and truck)! proof stupidity knows no boundaries! have a good sleep, dear.
ReplyDeleteIt is very stressful when we go through these hormonal ups and downs, I know exactly how you felt.
ReplyDeleteDon't take this the wrong way, but I laughed all the way through this post. What tribulations you had to endure, LOL!
ReplyDeleteSweet dreams, sweet cheeks!
ReplyDeleteThis post was very funny. Definitely more fun than the Clinton/Trump debate
ReplyDeleteNow see- you need to just make and wear a badge that says, "I'm a Sweetcheeks Grandad!"
ReplyDeleteAll will be well.
See above!
DeleteI would have wanted to defend those pretty old walls, too.
ReplyDeleteHoping today will turn out to be a good one.
It's the stupidity, you know? I have to deal with stupid people all of the time and it's always my fault that they're stupid, at least that's what they seem to think.
ReplyDeletedontcha just wanna smack the everloving shit outta stupid people? I know I do!
DeleteIt's the stupidity, you know? I have to deal with stupid people all of the time and it's always my fault that they're stupid, at least that's what they seem to think.
ReplyDeleteProof you are human after all! Hope you have a good rest.
ReplyDeleteGood night John..zzzzzzz.....
ReplyDeleteI confess to being no lady when push comes to shove. The language is bleu!!! Especially in the car - today I called some bimbo driving and I use the term lightly a assbitch - all one word. I am now making up obscenties. My husband says I rant and rant. I cant help it - I am 54 menopausal and have to deal with idiots every day so feel entitled to swear. Add being in constant pain and not knowing why, John you are entitled to feel agrieved. Hope you slept well and that you feel rested, calm and refreshed.
ReplyDeleteGood thing the neighbor kept you from swinging that yard brush! If not at their heads, maybe their giant truck would have come away with some dents.
ReplyDeleteHope you had a good rest, John!
There are some days when I don't need to read any more than the title. It makes my day. Even when I make a concerted effort NOT to watch anything to do with the debacle that is our election campaign, the ugliness pops up everywhere. I would have been putting a few dents in the lorry myself.
ReplyDeleteLet's all stand up for these wonderful British stone walls! I love them so much. Hope you had a good rest anyway!
ReplyDeleteWhen you have had a nice rest you can watch the 3rd debate on iplayer - that will make you nice and calm.
ReplyDeleteYou're just human like the rest of us John so can't be nice all the time...I would love to see you fly off the handle ..but not at me! and I guess it was the Grandad that irked...after all sweetcheeks is kinda nice!x
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one ;-)
ReplyDeleteExcellent. Currently these rants are in my head.....I think?.... At wig, granddad/mum and sweetcheeks I may have been tipped over the edge. X
ReplyDeleteEmbrace the madness
DeleteI would report the louts. No respect for our heritage-stone walls are precious.
ReplyDeleteAnyone calling me Madam is looking for a good bitch slapping, and the last time someone called out of an open car window, "watch out grandma" I wanted to drag the tw*t out of the car by his ears.
ReplyDeleteI am an insomniac and the tired barometer fluctuates wildly. I'm not always a crabby bitch honest.
They didn't realize who they were dealing with did they?
ReplyDelete"I thought I was going to have a stroke I was that angry" was the best line of the whole thing for me! Hahaha. Oh, John. I get it, my friend!
ReplyDeleteProbably not the best driver in the world.....
ReplyDeleteI love you when you are cross John.
ReplyDeleteYou fast cat Patricia x
DeleteWhat a t**t. And not you or Mike.
ReplyDeleteWhoooooohooooo only 17 followers to go to reach 1000
ReplyDelete15 to go...I'm wetting my panties!
DeleteRight, that's it, a boycott of that frothy muck starts right here!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNice to hear of someone else who channels the psycho bitch from hell some days.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a tart when it comes to your followers !!!!!!!!! XXXX
ReplyDeleteBloody hell 14!
ReplyDeleteIs the same person joining multiple times? Xxxx
That was the Straw That Back! Actually I would've got pretty hot under the collar if it'd been my wall too.Hope a decent night has helped
ReplyDeleteBoudica with Hypertension! I nearly wet myself over that!!!
ReplyDelete"skipping Mary Berry/ Laura Ingles persona" - Oh my.
ReplyDeleteLaura Ingles 0 : 1 troll bitch from hell
ReplyDeleteWe can't channel Pollyanna ALL the time ... would now be a good time to confess that I swear - out loud! - when I am alone?
ReplyDeleteP. S. I didn't mean all the time, just when I'm hopping mad :)
ReplyDeleteDidn't realise I wasn't already a follower even though I read you everyday. Have added my name to your list. x
ReplyDeleteThank you, only 13 to go!
ReplyDeleteYou are our sweetie, rest well. The least they could have done was offer a case of their best to calm your nerves.
ReplyDeleteJust 12 to go,.......its attainable ! How wonderful
ReplyDeleteI SAID JUST TWELVE,
ReplyDeleteCome on keep em coming!
Having seen the photos of your burned tushy, I can, indeed state that you do have sweet cheeks. :)
ReplyDeleteFunny! Blood hell 11 to go!
DeleteSomeone is pulling my willy
ReplyDelete10 to go....wow
:D :D oh my god! This is hillarious!! I am not a nice person myself and I keep telling people that.
ReplyDeleteBut they dont believe me until I start yelling profanity. Hahaha!
You are more mae west to me.
ReplyDeleteYou are more mae west to me.
ReplyDeleteI have followed for years but never able to comment (you didn't have an anonymous tab). I might have sorted this out now so I'll try again.
ReplyDeleteBTW I check in daily with you, love your Blog. Kind regards, Louise S, Cheshire.
It's worked!!! I've finally sussed it out. Louise S, Cheshire.
ReplyDelete"If Carlsberg did demolition...they'd probably be the best in the business."
ReplyDelete"Just like The Pony Express, Carlsberg will get round everything...probably."
At least 'Sweetcheeks' has a trace of banter (albeit condescending) about it. But 'Grandad'? - oh, the hurt!
ReplyDelete"Keep your wig on, grandad"? "Calm yourself, sweetcheeks"? I doubt if either remark was meant personally, they were just all-purpose, one-size-fits-all insults, aimed at all and sundry when the opportunity arises. I wouldn't have been angry, I'd have laughed myself silly at the absurdity.
ReplyDeleteStill - a shame he wasn't stuck there all night, cursing the so-called "short cut".
It is a beautiful wall.
ReplyDelete