" Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells"

Oh My God!
That's it! I've gone and done it!
I've finally turned into one of those opinionated old farts that are hated by middle England and everyone else for that matter. You know the sort.
The scruffy old sod who won't ever shut his mouth.

It all started outside the house with the two staffies. I was talking to the good natured owner of Podrick as William and Mary greeted him playfully when the two staffies charged the fence barking loudly, with their owner in tow. Although both terriers were wagging their tails, loose staffies can be unpredictable, especially if they escape their garden and as Podrick, and the Welsh terriers watched their owner started to swat ineffectively at them shouting for them to be quiet.
" The little one is always escaping" the man said and as Podrick's owner politely chatted , I plowed in with a pointed " You need to control these dogs better"
The man looked at me in surprise and said " Mate,  they are friendly dogs"
 " don't MATE me"  I thought but said " You're dogs should be secure, I have a bulldog and if they get out and go for her she would flatten them" ( I didn't bother to add that Winnie has no teeth to speak of  and has a gentle nature akin to Julie Andrews )

I'll get my head kicked in soon no doubt.

Minutes later I was knocking on another door with ANOTHER complaint.
This time, I was more measured and diplomatic ...basically because the home owners where not in and I had to leave a calmly written note. I stopped at a rented out bungalow which has a small chicken coop placed on a concrete path in the front garden. The coop is tiny, with a tiny run and is just big enough to cater for perhaps two small hens. I could see at least five or six birds standing sadly shoulder to shoulder in it, so I left a note "suggesting" that their coop was not fit for purpose and  offered  the hen owner a six foot covered run which they could keep.
I signed the note and left our telephone number.
I wonder if the owner takes me up on my offer or comes around to stuff my note up my arse.

Oh why can't I just shut the fuck up?

Oh there I go again.....I'm swearing again. It was only this morning that neighbour Mandy told me that I swear too much on GOING GENTLY !!!