George smells of dog.
And
Winnie smells of fanny.
Tomorrow both will be living in other people's houses
And so it was time for both to have a good bath.
Now getting George in the bath is easy.
Ok he looks as though you have sexually molested him
( after the initial wrestling match getting him out from his hiding place from under the spare bed)
But logistically, getting him in and out of the tub is pretty easy.
Winnie on the other hand is a nightmare.
I don't know about you, but getting her 25 kilos into the bath of hot water
Is a bit like squeezing Rosie O'Donnell through a cat flap
It's a tough job!
But I was up for the challenge , and after much swearing, screaming and a whole container of
Original source coconut and shea butter shower gel
( I used all the dog shampoo on George)
Her fanny was gleaming like a stainless steel kettle.
Mind you.....the other problem with bathing Winnie is that once into the water,
She is very loath to leave it...
Have you ever straight lifted a soaked bulldog out of a bath that didn't want to go?
It's fucking hard work!
It's fucking hard work!
I am now typing this resting my back on the couch
These animals will be the death of me
Winnie and her fanny flannel
Winnie doesn't mean to be difficult. She told me she'd get in the tub by herself if you'd add just a little bit of bubble bath. When I go to people's houses, I wonder if they say after I'm out the door, Whoa! She smells of fanny. Let's get her a fanny flannel.
ReplyDeleteProbably.
Love,
Janie
Try "Jacksonville Fanny Flannels inc." By appointment to Lady Gaga and Laura Bush. "Grand Canyon" fanny flannels are also meant to be good.
DeleteYou gave me an excellent laugh. I'd share a fanny flannel with Lady Gaga, but not Laura Bush.
DeleteYP and Jamie..... so funny (how is Franklin today ?)
DeleteYP, interested to find out how out of a gazillion names you picked those two.
But I would pick Laura Bush over Lady Gaga.
cheers, parsnip
I would drop :Laura Bush on Lady Gaga from a crane. By the way, like velvety smooth "Galaxy" chocolate, fanny flannels are not for sharing...
DeleteI feel overwhemed by the word fanny
Deletewinnie looks like she is giving you a raspberry!
ReplyDeleteShe made the mistake of licking her bubbles
DeleteSolution: Give them a shower instead. They'll think it's only raining and will be as good as gold, I pomise. ;-)
ReplyDeleteBack on safer ground today with Winnies fanny. Surely no heated debate can arise from this one.
ReplyDeleteThe visual image of squeezing Rosie O'Donnell through a catflap is truly priceless!
Bawahahahahahahahaahaaaaaaa ha
DeleteSafer ground.
Oh My Goodness !
The very liberal Political Correct Police are sharping their pitchforks. With visions of both you and John staked over hot coals ! They soon will be baying at the door. Wear some garlic I hear that helps !
Be safe both of you.
cheers, parsnip
When John discards the fanny flannel in favour of a pressure washer they might have an excuse. Until then the PC brigade can kiss my ass!
DeleteI lurve you !
Deletecheers, parsnip
Look at these two flirting like teens xx
DeleteUrgh! Winnie's fanny flannel looks disgusting! Don't they sell more attractive fanny flannels at "Pets at Home" - perhaps with a doggy paw print or bone design and the dog's name neatly embroidered in the corner.
ReplyDeleteAnd no - to answer your question - I have never straight-lifted a soaked bulldog out of a bath but I have skimmed stones across the surface of Black Moss and watched the ripples quietly receding.
Perhaps shirley could crochet me one?
DeleteI might have told you this before John - on holiday many years ago we met and befriended a young couple. One of them said that when she lived at home there was a flannel in the bathroom that no-one was allowed to use apart from her Dad. It was embroidered with the initials D.B.F which stood for..............Dad's Bum Flannel!!! Maybe you should embroider W.F.F on Winnie's!
ReplyDeleteNow this DID make me titter
DeletePriceless
ReplyDeleteCan you get a small kiddy pool to give her a bath in ?
ReplyDeleteI know they have hose extenders that you can use on your indoor faucets so you can use both hot and cold water.
George looks so embarrassed !
My Scotties look that way when they get their baths.
cheers, parsnip
I have five to bath each time, the largest weighing 50kg, but we rigged up a hot water showering system outside, so thankfully I don't have to heave them in and out of a bath tub.
ReplyDeleteBut, don't they smell and feel ever so good once the job is completed. And, yes, my back definitely takes strain.
As always, loved seeing the pics of Winnie and George. Adorable dogs!
As a girl, I'm sure Winnie WANTED the original source coconut and shea butter shower gel and just couldn't figure out how to ask for it.
ReplyDeleteYou need a ceiling lift in your bathroom and a dog-size sling.
I don't blame Winnie one bit. If I were a dog, I certainly wouldn't want to smell like coconut and shea butter! What were you thinking, John?
ReplyDeleteWell it was that or chris' expensive personal grooming douche
DeleteEuck... I don't even know what that means John!!!! I think Winnie got the better option by the sounds of it....
DeleteJo in Auckland, NZ
The faces on those dogs are absolutely priceless. I bet the bathroom got a good washing down as well.....you too!
ReplyDeleteMy dogs prefer Head and Shoulders or Original Source Tea Tree and Mint ... perhaps Winnie would prefer one of these options ;-)
ReplyDeleteIt's a struggle isn't it, but so worth it when for one blissful night they are soft as velvet and smelling wonderful rather than mobile sheep poo carriers.
"mobile sheep poo carriers"
Deleteperfect !
cheers, parsnip
You do put yourself through it !!..luckily for your readers as it is so funny. A new WFF looks required….you could bring her one back from Oz . With koalas or something on it!
ReplyDeleteAww so sweet......and although this is not very politically correct a friend once met a lady called fanny pong....this post made me laugh and remember that.......did you dry them afterwards John?
ReplyDeleteYes i used chris's towels! The fanny was pristine
DeleteIsn't there a famous athlete called Fannie Schmeller?
DeleteI keep forgetting to say bring back an Echidna, Tasmanian Devil or Platypus to add to your collection of animals. Just what you need !
ReplyDeletecheers, parsnip
Have you ever thought - Fanny Flannel sounds a good name for a character in a Sit Com.
ReplyDeleteIm writing to the BBC as we speak
DeleteMy god-what absolutely precious faces! They might be the death of you but would you really want to die any other way?
ReplyDeleteI know - trade in the Berlingo for a pick-up and take Winnie through the car wash. Two jobs for the price of one :-)
ReplyDeletePerhaps taking her to one of those romanian run car washing teams would be better?
DeleteSpray polish only three pounds extra
DeleteWe don't have a bath, so have always showered our dogs. Much the easiest way, but better if you have a glass door rather than a curtain. With a nice, warm, gentle spray and a generous dollop or two of the coconut and shea butter on the right quarters, Winnie will be in heaven ! You won't need to worry about her fanny flannel.
ReplyDeleteAgree with the others, you could get her a prettier one !
Why on earth would i buy a pretty one lol?
DeletePriceless, you do make me laugh John. The photos are great xx
ReplyDeleteShowers all the way. And when washing our German Shepherd my father gave up the fight and got in with them. With the bathroom door firmly shut so a lathered up dog didn't galumph through the house.
ReplyDeleteExcept for when she rolled in very dead cow. Her shower was on the lawn.
Right..i am having a wet room installed
DeleteThe photos of the dogs put a smile on my dial .
ReplyDeleteBring a hoist home from work.
ReplyDeleteBut the answer is let all of the water out and then let her start to get cold. have some crab sticks outside the door and she will get out on her own.
Yes, when you move, a wet room with a movable shower hose is the answer.
Here we go again.
ReplyDeleteGiven em what they want
DeleteIt's true there are a lot of us who love the dogs and photos of them.
ReplyDeleteOr is just the topic of fanny cloths?
ReplyDeleteRosie ODonnell through a cat flap....snort.
ReplyDeleteaw jeeze, I can see george's eyes. and winnie DOES look like churchill there. hope they both smell good and that your back has rested.
ReplyDeleteRosie going through a cat flap is quite the visual.
ReplyDeleteSo funny!and very cute!you do have a way with words😁love your Blog!
ReplyDeletePerhaps if you installed a neat little pool ladder, Winnie could daintily pick her way out of the tub. I can just picture it...
ReplyDeleteThis is when I'm glad I have a garden hose....
ReplyDeleteOur second dog loved to go swimming at the beach, and when we got home either me or my brother hosed the salt water off her. We used shampoo on occasion as well, and I can't count the number of times she'd roll in the freshly mown grass afterwards. She never liked us washing away the salt water, but having bits of grass stuck all over her made up for the embarrassment of smelling like human shampoo.
ReplyDeleteWe all have things that insult our dignity.
Perhaps an Edwardian type bathing machine might help?
ReplyDelete