Last night I was asked the question " when in your life were you the most happy?"
This threw me somewhat as it implied that happiness was only a thing of the past and not part of the present, so I threw the question back to the person who asked it.
" Happy " means different things to different people
To me " When in your life were you the most happy" actually means " when in your life have you felt most comfortable with yourself and those around you"
" Happy " there really means feeling content, safe, and balanced
And so I would answer " NOW...now I feel happy"
The problem with people that want to be " happy" is that they confuse the short term happiness of say a new relationship, a promotion, a goal reached or a holiday with life.
And if you are totally happy on the same level with all aspects of your life, then quite frankly you are an idiot ..
And Idiots are always happy.....look at William...bless ,
Thick as mince and happy since the day he was born
The person that asked me the original question seemed envious of my good humour last night
" In all of the years I have known you, I have never seen you unhappy at work" she said
." That's because I only work one shift a week " I replied with a grin
I'd suggest that looking at the past for happy or happier times tends to throw the emphasis on the positive feelings we had while downplaying the concerns one had at that same time, which were probably resolved through later events. When asking if one is happy in the present moment we are only too aware of the worries we currently have.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, that's my penn'orth of thoughts for today.
I agree
DeleteLook forward...always forward.... But dont forget the past
Yup. Learning ones lessons - so much easier to say than remembering to do.
DeletePut me in with William. I guess I'm an idiot.
ReplyDeleteI couldnt reply to this post though!
DeleteDonna recently said on my post that when she asked her brother why he took drugs (he died of them) he said, "Because it makes me happy".
ReplyDeleteYou're right - happiness means different things to different people.
Nope, not thick at all John. To me happiness is living in the moment and being content. As soon as you start thinking about an unknown future involving things like "What if this happens", or "Life would be better if...", or "I really want one of those", you immediately become dissatisfied with life as it currently is and therefore happiness takes a back seat.
ReplyDeleteIf you're happy now then that's brilliant, because it means you've found the contentment that most people find so elusive.
Great comment
DeleteI think it is also a case of not always striving
DeleteFor something else!
I'm a glass half full sort of person & whilst not in a constant delirium of giddy happiness I am mostly quietly happy. Hubby & I feel we live in a state of blissful boredom. He potters in the garden, I sew or crochet, we spend time with family, my family add to our happiness, his add drama & strife. But at least spending time with his family means we appreciate our quiet life even more.
ReplyDelete" blissful boredom"
DeleteAlan bennett couldn't have put it better
There's nothing wrong with mince. When I was a child I used to have sleep overs on Friday nights at a school friend's house. Her mum always cooked mince on Fridays. Thick mince with carrots and peas on white bread toast is absolutely delicious and a source of great happiness. Go William!
ReplyDeleteWe always had mince and chips on monday evenings
DeleteFeelings come and go quickly. Sometimes I'm happy - - other times I'm crappy. As a lifelong pessimist, absolute happiness for me would be a complete impossibility.
ReplyDeleteAnd you hit the proverbial nail directly on the head - - anyone who is perpetually happy is an idiot.
...or on drugs...............
DeleteTo know what happiness is and to value it one must have also known sadness and dark days. To live in an eternal state of happiness would be so dull. Sometimes people talk of happiness when they really mean contentment. Life has its ups and downs. We ride a rollercoaster to the end of the track.
ReplyDeleteUp and down like a whore's knickers
DeleteOn a point of accuracy... whores tend not to wear knickers, I have noticed unwishingly while being invited to purchase their wares in Amsterdam and Brussels, oh and Milan... scurrying past on business, of course. I get involved in a lot of different business in a lit of different places.
Deleteor "lot"
DeletePerv
DeleteEh? Why? For having to walk along streets on the way to interview people?
DeleteOh you do make me laugh! I read this one out to the husband and he laughed too. Good on you, I have never thought of it quite like that but now you've mentioned it, I much prefer your definition!
ReplyDeleteMrs C ....your comment proves that you are a happy old duffer
Delete"And will you be happy Charlotte?"
ReplyDelete"Oh Jerry - don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars..."
Hugs without smudging expensive make up
DeleteI wake up 'happy' every morning... it's only when I encounter those idiots that my mood may change.
ReplyDeleteDont get out of bed cro
DeleteThis year I have realised that I am pretty happy, I am lucky to have my partner, 3 glorious sons, a mother who loves me and my wonderful family , two poodles and a garden that brings me great joy. I am healthy and so is my family . I am one happy person.
ReplyDeletePickle that feeling
Delete'Thick as mince and as happy as the day he was born'. I love that quote!
ReplyDeletesince I despise mondays, I would like to kick that minion's arse to london and back!
ReplyDeleteto borrow a phrase from cro magnon, "I wake up happy' every morning... it's only when I encounter stupid people that my mood changes." and there are so damn many of them out there...
How could you kick a minion..?
Deletehappiness is relative, contentment much more important. If you have concerns about your future, then you're not as content as you might think you are. Me? I am quite content so by the same token I'd say I'm relatively happy.
ReplyDeletei am content with just moments of happiness.
ReplyDeleteI am always happy. I tell P everyday. On Saturday he brought me a bunch of flowers and my happiness overflowed. Miserable people are no fun.
ReplyDeleteWhat type were they?
DeleteLilies, roses, greenery and daisies. He often brings me flowers.
DeleteA man with taste
DeleteI love that picture of William. Happiness comes in different forms -- there's the long-term happiness that you're talking about, and short-term bursts of happiness in response to something immediate and good. Fortunately I'm in a pretty good place all around.
ReplyDeleteI will paraphrase that wise sage, Charlotte, from "Sex and The City":
ReplyDeleteI am happy every day.
Not all day every day, but every single day I experience happiness.
Samantha was a wise old tart was she not?
DeleteI was happy since I was 21. When I married my husband. I stopped being happy a little over a year ago.
ReplyDeleteNow everything is hard, scary, insecure but there are flashes of happy. A beautiful day and 2 silly cats and plans for a dog .. hope that I make good decisions etc.
I plan on being happy again .. at least I hope for it.
A dog sounds like a good plan and I'm sure will help to bring you happiness. Take care
DeleteR I happy you ask!? This early on a Monday morning?
ReplyDeleteSimple answer....YES, generally speaking of course.
However, my most happy time that I can remember was in my 'junior high' (grades 7 to 9) years. I had so much fun and things then were a lot less complicated.
Jimbo..the younger I was, the more unhappy I remember i was
DeletePeople also mistakenly define happiness as being constituted only by peak experiences of high emotion and excitement rather than by everyday quiet contentment. That's why so many think that happiness is rare.
ReplyDelete1992...
ReplyDeleteNow you cant keep a girl waing for the explaination
DeleteI'm curious how people perceive that as well. I can tell you when I've been most miserable but even during those times there were good days. being content beats being happy any day.
ReplyDeleteIn general I'm happy. You have to be optimistic, live in the present, not dwell or wish you can change the past and look to the future with hope .... then you stay happy.
ReplyDeleteNegativity is the only thing that drags me down, so I try not to be with negative people whenever possible, and if I am I try and counter things they might say with more positive opinions and options.
My happiest time ever ..... living in Ulverston, Cumbria and running my little shop.
And for you working just one shift a week sounds like a good recipe for happiness, it must balance out everything else you do nicely.
Yes good point sue, optimism IS the key me thinks
DeleteBut, negative people (pessimists or realists) need love too. As the old saying goes, "Ignorance is bliss".)
ReplyDeleteHappy, yes I am. When I find the gratitude for what I have, I find the happiness.
ReplyDeleteI am with you on this one, Beard.
DeleteAwesome, Fearsome.
DeleteMarvelous
DeleteFantastic post. My happiness comes in pieces I think. There are a few moments I'm not happy in a long stretch of concentrated bliss.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad for you and William.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI am a lucky person - my default state is happy, much like William. I have had times, some quite long, of deep unhappiness/depression that were situational. I hung on through those times by actively (although not always effectively) trying to bring changes to my life. I have also had times of giddy happiness, also situational and also not permanent. The contrast between the states helps me appreciate and be happy with contentment and hang on through the unhappy discontent. Thinking about your question, I am happy now. And if you had asked me that question every day for all my life 'til now, the answer would most often have been the same.
ReplyDeleteVery thought provoking responses from you readers. You have an eclectic group of followers.
They are a nice bunch of despots......
DeleteI think I'm happiest now. Its true, with age comes wisdom and you realize what's really important in life...my lovely dysfunctional family, my pet...not things. And not really giving a shit what other people think of you helps too! Being true to who you really and accepting people for who they are makes for a very contented life!
ReplyDeleteI am really happy at the odd moment, I am plain happy about 40% of the time, and somewhat unhappy 40% of the time and wretchedly miserable for the rest of the time, with odd moments of hatefulness.
ReplyDeleteAn eclectic mix shaz
Delete"When in your life were you the most happy?" actually means "When in your life have you felt most comfortable with yourself and those around you?" A very perceptive comment. Absolutely spot on.
ReplyDeleteThank you nicolas
DeleteYes, contentment! I am generally happy much of the time. I am lucky to be married to the most wonderful man in the world. We have been together for 36 + years. And I am only unhappy when he annoys me. ;)
ReplyDeleteLiz..they tend to do that font they?
DeleteJust looking at William's happy face makes me happy too !
ReplyDeleteI'm happy when I'm doing things I enjoy. Unfortunately, I'm not doing things I enjoy most of the time at present. I am aware that I have to change what's become the status quo...
ReplyDeleteWilliam looks pretty darn happy, btw!
Getting a balance in this over fast world is a problem bea
DeleteYes, things are moving too quickly for my taste, I have to say!
DeletePerfect Willian !
ReplyDeletewoof, The Square Ones
cheers, parsnip
"Thick as mince and happy since the day he was born"
ReplyDeletePossibly that is also what William thinks of you.
He doesnt think
DeleteIs that what you think?
DeleteThats what i know.... George thinks, winnie thinks, william smiles
DeleteHe probably thinks you don't think, or he possibly thinks that if you do think then you probably think that he doesn't think, I think.
DeleteMy head has exploded
DeleteMy work is done... I'm happy :)
DeleteTo live in perpetual sunshine, allowing no shadows, is to render oneself blind. To try to do the emotional equivalent is to achieve the same end.
ReplyDeleteThe prize for the best comment goes to,,,,, jac x
DeleteWilliam looks not only blind but totally eyeless. Does he actually have eyes? If I had eyes that were forever getting covered by a mat of ginger hair it would make me unhappy.But maybe he is just happy that he doesn't have to look at Winnie reversing towards him or your good self spilling scotch egg and dribbles down your front. (Just wondering). By the way, I have managed to be quite happy recently because I was down in the dark slimy pit of despair a few times and decided it was just no fun, and someone gave me a hand to climb out. I am trying to avoid slipping down again.
DeleteWe all need a ladder or a helping hand
DeleteI am glad I get grumpy from time to time, I would not want to be classified as an idiot or thick as mince (though life would be simpler.)
ReplyDeleteI think if you can say 'At this moment, in this place I am happy' then that's a positive. I sometimes stand at the back fence looking over the field and hedges (as the watering can is filling) and I think 'I am happy now'; and that's a good thing. Simple stuff but no less true.
ReplyDeletePS I absolutely love Pharrell Williams' 'Happy' - it makes me smile every time.
He made me smile tbe first 100 times i heard it
DeleteSo when you have a scotch egg in your gob John - you to would be an idiot like William?
ReplyDeleteLife's to short to be a negative nelly.
I was happy a long, long time ago and didn't realize it. Today, I just live to be content.
ReplyDeleteI love that picture of William. Sometimes it doesn't take a lot to make me happy!
ReplyDeleteI'm envious of William. :) Long term illness plus reading has taught me that you can be happy no matter what is going on in your life, because happiness can only come from within. The little book, The Tao of Pooh, got me onto that path, and books like How to Be Sick and A New Earth have kept me there. I can look back to times where it should have been *easier* to be happy but I'm not sure I *was* actually happier. If you aren't born with it like William, it can really help to learn some strategies to use when needed.
ReplyDeleteI keep seeing pictures of this character wearing goggles... have I missed something?
ReplyDelete