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Today we are off to Chester for a nice lunch in a trendy bar called " Aubergine" .....in reality the bar is called " Artichoke" but Chris has problems remembering the fact.
I am shallow enough to happily say that "Going Gently" is trundling towards it's 2 millionth visitor.
I am also a gnat's crotchet away from my 800th follower which I guess is some small achievement compared with the fact that a ten year old child can have 1000 friends on Facebook without ever leaving the comfort of the sofa....but I will take a positive wherever a positive can be squeezed.
I think " Going Gently" would make a lovely feature film.....
Of course there could be a typical Hollywood twist on the story.....you know where the mentally ill , Julia Roberts character moves into Trelawnyd after losing her family in a place crash, only to be wooed back into reality by one of Auntie Gladys' scones and by a firm talking to by Gay Gordon and Big Mary at the bus stop!
Russell Crowe is now too old to play me of course,so perhaps Danial Craig in heavy make up and prosthetics could be brought in?
John Hurt ( Tom Stephenson), Juliet Stephenson ( Rachel) and Rosie O'Donnell ( as most of the North American bloggers) could make up the supporting cast ( bloggers that club together to raise funds for the surviving villagers caught up in the disastrous Gop Hill landslide) alongside stalwarts such as Hugh Bonniville ( as Dr Chris) Maggie Smith ( Auntie Glad) ,Dame Helen Mirren as Pat the animal helper And a special appearance by Sir Ian McKelken as the vicar!
Hummm I can also see a mini series in the making?......Trelawnyd will have to open a tea room!
And extend the car park!
So who will play you in the movie?
Answers on a postcard.......
Hey ho...we can all dream
I'd be a glamorous member of the W.I. please.
ReplyDeleteDone!
DeleteHas Juliet Stephenson got big tits?
ReplyDeleteMassive norks
DeleteEvery other feature is massive, so I would guess that she has.
DeleteI couldn't bear to be played by some flat-chested Mia Farrow lookalike.
DeleteI couldn't bare it either!
DeleteWhat, like Annie Hall?
DeleteFuck off.
DeleteAmateurs amateurs! Do I have to work with these amateurs!
DeleteWhat do you mean, amateurs, how dare you! (stamping of feet). This is how professionals actors behave when they don't get their own way..
DeleteThis is briliant. If you need a jewish voice I am here:)
ReplyDeleteYou could play mrs trellis Yael!
DeleteWill you be selling your page to advertisements? You could earn a fortune.
ReplyDeleteBrian blessed's doing your cameo cro
DeleteI am willing to play the baddie. You know, the Glen Close yummy mummy who drives her 4x4 too fast down the lanes and eventually gets a bag of poo left on her windscreen by the unsung hero animal lover. It would stretch me as an actor, but I think I could turn it into a BAFTA nomination.
ReplyDeleteLol ......you remember things so well.......... X
DeleteI think Sean Bean for moi, as the irrepressible village idiot whose constant ramblings of doom come to truth as there is a world wide ban on scotch eggs....
ReplyDeleteGood choice!
DeleteI sincerely believe that Going Gently would make a brilliant mini-series. Seriously! Are any producers reading this???
ReplyDeleteShout louder!
DeleteI think the bloke who plays Father Jack would be better than John Hurt - Hurt is too flimsy.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to play the nosey American peeking into your windows to see if your beams are painted white. Then in true Hollywood fashion someone can pull out a gun and blow me into oblivion. I'm thinking Golden Globe award here. X
ReplyDeleteCan I play village elder, Islwyn? I have a trusty wheelbarrow too.
ReplyDeleteYou'll have to buy a bright yellow council jacket dave
DeleteI have got a dazzling yellow jacket John.. It spooks the cattle. So I don't wear it when I am near them.
DeleteCan I be the gobby Yorkshire woman who is down for the weekend, I could say things like 'Appen' and 'Like as not and appen as mebbe' etc.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't be too much of a stretch to be honest, I'd like to by played by Brian Blessed in drag :)
Twiggy
He's already been cast twiggy!
DeleteI remember saying some time ago that your life and the village should be a TV series! How exciting would that be!
ReplyDeleteWhere do I send my donation?
ReplyDeleteCheques to me made payable to me too!
DeleteI'm not too sure I appreciate the idea of Rosie O'Donnell as representative of your North American fan base. . . .
ReplyDeleteAgreed.
DeleteDamn , John. Low blow.
DeleteLOL
Also agreed. I would prefer Kathy Bates for your older NA Fans such as moi
DeleteI quite agree, No Rosie.
DeleteOk my new list
DeleteJulianna Margullies, whoopie Goldberg, glen close, Sarah Jessica Parker and melissa mc bride
I so agree NO Rosie !
DeleteRosie O'Donnell? Surely you jest! Us yanks want to be played by Helen Mirren with a suitable American accent, of course. You can get somebody else to play Pat.
DeleteI agree, no Rosie. As "older" US folks, please consider, Patricia Clarkson, Jessica Lange, Edie Falco, Angela Bassett or Glenn Close. Sassiness with brains my dear, that is us :)
DeleteWould there be a role for Hippo?
ReplyDeleteOf course..as miss robert's' love interest
DeleteJohn Slattery from Mad Men would make a great Hippo....of course he'd have to adopt an accent, but still.....!
ReplyDelete. . . . . . move over Doc Martin, we're definitely ready for Going Gently!
ReplyDeleteAuntie Glad's scones can stay, but I can bake some really fab healthy carrot raisin muffins which will be big sellers in the tea room.
In fact, I'd like to design the tea room please.
Can your lovely dogs play themselves?
Mary -
Winnie's posing for her close ups already
DeleteOoooh....food for thought here John....could I be a nurse that works for 'George Clooney' vet......?
ReplyDeleteGood idea lib!
DeleteTom Selleck could portray, like, two of me.
ReplyDeleteGeorge Clooney is the only person who could possibly play you John.
ReplyDeleteI have always said there is a book there - I say it again - and the film could be the film of the book by that famous author, John Gray.
No, George Clooney has to play the vet!
DeleteToo bloody right
DeleteI pick Hannah Hart of My Drunk Kitchen! Now, who exactly is going to become Julia Roberts true love? I have a feeling Daniel Craig's character won't be the one.
ReplyDeleteShe's a real cutie!
DeleteInteresting stats :-)
ReplyDeleteIt made me pop over and have a look at mine, and guess what although I had 5, yes just five less page views yesterday than you I have gone over the two million all time history views.
I would love to see a reality type programme made around you village, you would no doubt be the star ... or maybe Winnie would be the REAL star! :-)
I have no idea who could play me if I visited the village, in your movie, maybe Fern Britton.
Beat me too it!
DeleteAnd there's me thinking I was doing so well!
You are doing well ... very well. xx
DeleteHow about Jason Issacs, as......?
ReplyDeleteAffable despot jason?
DeleteJim Carter, who plays 'Carson' in Downton Abbey, would make a perfect Chris.
ReplyDeleteAny old fart from the village could play me as a 'walk by' in the background....my comfort zone.
Don't know, John. Keep your day job. Or night, as it may be.
ReplyDeleteShucks
DeleteI'm game...I'd watch it. Of course, I'm angling for a cameo...
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't dream of robbing you the right to some strange casting choice for 'special guest appearance by' Bel Ami...
ReplyDeleteEddie Redmayne could play you?
DeleteWell that's far better than I expected!
DeleteMy friend's mom once spent ages trying to think who I reminded her of (I was about 20 at the time). Finally she said 'Tom Conti'!! Ho hum...
ReplyDeleteLol
ReplyDelete798!
ReplyDelete2 more!
Can I be the new character, the "Ugly American" who moves into the Village. Everyone is wary as she bought the house down the lane. But then comes to understand she is nice because of her Two Scottie and she like to garden but uses no astro turf !
ReplyDeletecheers, parsnip
Ahhh, now, who would play Winifred?
ReplyDeleteKathy Burke ?
DeleteI could see 'Going Gently' on a Sunday night slot before Downton Abbey. It would be a mix of Last of the Summer Wine, Jam and Jerusalem and The Darling Buds of May. Can I be your 'runner' on set? x
ReplyDeleteHon I hope it's nothing like jam and Jerusalem
ReplyDeleteThat was a pile of shite!
Ouch!
ReplyDeleteCan I have a part? The last time I was in anything I played Dick Whittington's cat when I was seven and I was nearly famous.
ReplyDeleteTo quote George Takei, "Oh myyyy...!"
DeleteThose of us with little to no movie knowledge are at a distinct disadvantage in this game ... but I can wrangle cats pretty well - how about being Albert's handler? (easy job because no cat would agree to a handler) In fact, Elephant's Child and I might co-wrangle as she's an expert in this realm also ... it would only double the fee (2x0=0)
ReplyDeleteJenny , I do need a behind the scenes pussy wrangler!
DeleteAnd if someone manages to create a cross between Dawn French and Kathy Burke, write a walk-on part for me!
ReplyDeleteDone...you can play Jenny in the post office
DeleteKathy Bates will do nicely, thanks. TAWANDA!
ReplyDeleteI could do the catering? Seriously, behind the scenes is good enough for me... I couldn't outdo Aunty Glads scones but I make a mean kate and sidney pie, mash and peas.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland, NZ
Great idea. I can easily imagine Going Gently - The Movie. Of course Julia Roberts would also be wooed back to reality by the heartwarming gay couple John and Chris, lifting her spirits with home-baked lemon drizzle cakes and triple chocolate muffins.
ReplyDeleteWill Winnie want a fanny double, the Diva, or will she be happy to portray herself?
ReplyDeletePossible title: One Gay Wedding a Wet Fanny and an Egret's Funeral
Kinda catchy
DeleteA Channel 5 Reality TV series would be better than a film. Think Geordie Shore or The Only Way is Essex but maybe Turmoils in Trelawnyd, or maybe Two Tits in Trelawnyd or...
ReplyDeletePlease spare us "50 Shades of John Gray" though. The world is not ready for that.
DeleteTwo tits in Trelawnyd?
ReplyDeleteHOW VERY DARE YOU. ?!
I very dared.
DeleteI knew you would!
DeleteIt could've been "Two Trelawnyd Tits and One Wet Fanny"
DeleteOne needs to pitch hard to catch a Producer's attention.
May I offer my screenwriting services to convert the blog into the film? (For a huge fee or percentage, of course).
I'll pay you 250 UK pounds
DeleteDeal.
DeleteSend the cheque.
(You need to learn about specifying length requirements before offering a publishing deal John, you naive chap...)
However, I'd accept 250 UK pounds plus 20% of lifetime royalties from all forms of reproduction, including all spin-offs, in all territories worldwide and beyond, regardless of script length. I think the "Weeping Winnie" toy and the John with Scotch egg (battery operated raising egg to mouth while singing "Let it Go (in) )" would both be winners, as would model Chris with extendable moustache.... and a monotone "I will not smile" recording played at each tug of it.
Heh, heh, I would probably watch that movie. I vote for Russell Crowe to play someone, I love that guy. He could play a younger guy, that is, you!
ReplyDeleteOk terra......I will allow his audition
DeleteI think that I shall have to play myself, as Constance of course, performing in the village hall of a Saturday night with Bel Ami, for the entertainment of the gathered. Oh, and the light being focussed by the refractive powers of all the Swarovski crystals could set fire to the curtains, thus a fund raiser must be got up, which we could perform in..and so on. It's all about me.
ReplyDeleteAs for you, dear one, if George Clooney is playing the vet and Russell Crowe is too old (and too dreadful!) then I vote for Richard Armitage. He has your dark looks... :)
Bel would LOVE this.....he's such a show gal
DeleteRichard Armitage, what a brilliant suggestion to play our loved John, Mrs C. Even when he's being a warrior dwarf, RA has it over Mr Clooney any day. And that voice! (swoons)
DeleteBless you Judith x
Delete799!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWith that kind of a cast the name of your blog may have to be changed to 'Going Wildly'.
ReplyDeleteLol....li think we have a winner on our hands x
Delete800 whaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
ReplyDeleteTee hee
Xx
Congratulations, J-Boy. I hope one of them is a big-time producer scouting for film rights.
DeletePriceless post today, John! Priceless! Gave me a good giggle! :)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!
ReplyDeleteThe way reality shows are taking over tv you can play yourself. Or, wait for it...Norman Reedus or better worshiped as Daryl!
We could see how he fairs in a romantic comedy.
Norman can have a guest spot as Ralph the gentleman farmer
DeleteI've thought of the perfect title,..Nestled In The Bosoms.
DeleteDo you remember years ago an English reality show depicting life in an English village, called I think "The Village"? it was on pay tv in Australia. Going Gently would be much more entertaining,heavily featuring the dogs and your comic moments ! I could play perhaps one of the interesting ladies, with an Aussie accent ? I am also rather good at interpretative dance ! Love the blog John xxxx
ReplyDeleteWhat no Aussie representation ? ? How about an Aussie vet assistant .... or perhaps holiday worker at the Tea Room?
ReplyDeleteIs there a crazy cat woman in your village? I would be a natural! But truly, any part no matter how small would do....
ReplyDeleteWith the right haircut, I might make it as one of the ladies that took over the pub.
ReplyDeleteI want to be the mysterious Canadian lady who bought the big house in the village that is being renovated! I have plans to open a garden centre behind the house and become one of the judges at the flower show.
ReplyDeleteI haven't the foggiest idea who I am.
ReplyDeleteHas Bunty's role been filled yet? I have a mighty tenor voice on me.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed that....all very chilling but good fun!
ReplyDeleteCould I be Celia Imrie please ? The posh Totty from the south ? I'm not as posh or as slim as her but do love the characters she plays so it's Celia Imrie for me xx
ReplyDeleteCould I play the ex-nurse/crazy cat lady/allotmenteer (who also has chickens)? lol!
ReplyDeleteThere must be a part for Julie Walters in there somewhere? Maybe the waitress at the cafe?
ReplyDeleteif Julie Walters is in it, Celia Imrie is a must ! x
DeleteI would be good as one of the chickens.
ReplyDeleteI would be one of the many walkers on Offa's Dyke or second girl on the left if you need some extras for Flower Show or Allotment scenes.
ReplyDelete