I'm the one on the left
In two days,I have done around seven and a half hours taking money on the Prestatyn flower Show gate. Generally it is a worthwhile and enjoyable job, full of good humour and idle chatter.
Only occasionally does some uncouth specimen spoil the harmony of the day by complaining on the cost of admission (£1.50!) or the fact the Show doesn't provide it's own toilet facilities!
The best complaint of the day came from two middle aged women who, quite honestly had seen better days. Not locals, they actually stopped me on their way home to complain that one of the brass band players ( Rhyl's excellent brass band had been commissioned to play to entertain visitors ) had showed too much of his arse cheeks when bending over.
I tried to make light of it by smiling a big smile and saying " well it's a very hot day" but this seemed to irritate one of the women more and she kept on repeating that the whole spectacle was " absolutely disgusting "
I smiled a big false smile at the woman and chirped out in my best sing song voice
" life's a big disappointment sometimes isn't it?"
And went back to my next customer.
The great British Unwashed
Who needs them?
I think your lovely shirt should have compensated her disappointment in arse cheeks. The old git! Are there female gits? We don't really use that word on our side of the world.
ReplyDelete£1-50 for the sight of some are cheeks! Sounds a good price to me!!
ReplyDelete*arse*
DeleteWere they "Sharon and Tracy"?
ReplyDeleteJane x
PS Knew it was you..the crocs were a dead giveaway.
I bet the prudish complainant tossed and turned in her bed last night - fantasising about the tuba player's arse crack - "Oh, oh... Wilfred you play the tuba so well!"
ReplyDeleteMad mad mad...... Nurse the screens!
DeleteShould have charged her extra for the little show.
ReplyDeleteYou should have told her it was to swipe her credit card to leave him a tip. Stupid cow.
ReplyDeleteHer......not you.
ReplyDeleteI know x
DeleteI'm sure she looks absolutely adorable when she bends over. Nothing wrong with a little plumber butt here and there.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
What a cheek x
ReplyDeleteAn excellent example of why I love your posts! So varied and funny! We might have an opportunity to visit people just south of Chester, and I checked on the map that you are not so far away…can I visit? Please . Do your dogs like schnauzers? We would have him with us. XX
ReplyDeletePlea do!
DeleteOf course John's dogs like schnauzers. They're delicious!
DeleteMine is when he isn't chewing stuff he shouldn't ! He is only just 1 year old! John, that has persuaded me to make contact with very old friends..not seen them for probably 30 years!... …not sure if going to see them would be good, but to see you and the animal family ( Chris even!) would make it worth while. XX
DeleteTact - one of your strong points!
ReplyDeletePeople like that are so sad... You should have charged them extra and told them the fee would go up with every complaint.
ReplyDeleteThere is generally at least one arse around to spoil things at any human gathering, and generally not an actual arse, but more like the two arses that you encountered, if you see what I mean.
ReplyDeleteAch I would have just said, "Well for an extra £1.50" he could have played a tune out of it for you.
They could always have swiftly gone round to view the band from the other side, rather than, I suspect, staying where they were in order to maximise their disgust.
You are right andrew... Every gathering has it's own arse
DeleteHimself was on the gate at a local show, having been there at about 6 am to set up. Someone arrived at 4 pm and said '£5 entry, why it's almost over, I think that's a bit pricey''
ReplyDeleteI would like to tell you what Himself said, but I would have to delete so many expletives, it's not worth it.
One family of adults numbered 12 ( kids got in free)
DeleteI gave em discount
You should have dropped your trousers and bent over John asking them if yours fared any better!!! x
ReplyDeleteThat constitutes a problem? Nothing that a swift kick in the whatsit wouldn't sort out down here.
ReplyDeleteOh I so wishmy foot could and would be allowed to contact fat, ignorant arse
DeleteCheap cheeks at half the price! Define 'had seen better days'?!You rock that Fedora, btw! x
ReplyDeleteArse checking is de rigeur at such events surely?
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
And the complainer obviously doesn't have an arse of her own, and bends so gracefully that even it she did none of it would be visible. Sigh. She shoud be thankful he wasn't playing from his arse.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I remember her arse looked normal even though it was shrouded in very cheap leggings
DeleteGood job those ' ladies ' have never encountered you bending over to pick up a stray dog shit .....only then would they truly know what it feels like to be serenaded by a badly tuned oboe .....
ReplyDeleteThe cruel mouth of friends.............
DeleteHa ha .....
DeleteOk made me laugh :O)
ReplyDeleteJust to let you you know that you are my oldest follower xxx
DeleteSo many asses so little time....Looking stylish in the hat AND showing a little ankle!
ReplyDeleteI detest when people can't find a single positive thing to say. I hope you rolled your eyes a little.
ReplyDeleteOh yes...I am a master of irony
DeleteI feel that the true arses were Cheap Leggins from Little Whingeing and her friend Bottle Bonde!
ReplyDeleteLol ....
DeleteI woud have told her that she owed the show and extra charge for viewing the arse exhibit.
ReplyDeletewish I could have seen that arse! worth the price of admission!
ReplyDeleteIt would have to be an exception "plumbers crack" to warrant even a mention here. All Aussie men have there pants down under their beer bellies and so the back comes down to be leve. Oh Hum, its just a bum, and last time i looked, we all have 'em. You know your readers are right, it probably made her day, which is why she even noticed.
ReplyDeleteA flash of arse cheeks is a bonus, I reckon.
ReplyDeleteWell I am a Aussie like Lynda so I see Builder's and Plumber's Crack all the time but I have to say ...... I never seen a Brass Band Crack!!!
ReplyDeleteWhoopee !!!
A thankless task entertaining the public at low key events.......Some people don't know what they've got until its' gone, if the show was no more, they'd have to find something else to complain about!
ReplyDeleteWell done John for keeping your cool! Love the hat! x
Or you could have reminded them that tickets guaranteeing no sight of arse cheeks were £3.00, but they only bought the standard-price tickets.
ReplyDeleteI like Nick's comment!!!!
ReplyDelete