Beware the water

Warning explicit photos in text

After dropping Chris off for the Glasgow train, I walked the dogs in the rain, collected animal feed 

and returned home to clear the decks before before driving up to Denbigh to see the George Clooney vet about Welsh Terrier vaccination boosters .

There was enough hot water in the " tank"

So I treated myself to a crafty and luxuriously hot soak in the tub.

( even I can be seduced by a Joan Crawford bubble bath)

I was just closing my eyes to radio 4's " book of the week"

When heavy and scratching footsteps could be heard on the Lino 

A second later a big nonplussed face appeared over the rim of the bath 

and Winnie gave me one of her " kiss me now" looks.

I should have seen the signs

For as I dozed to Rebecca Front's chocolate tones ignoring the "face" 

Winnie unexpectedly launched herself into the bath.

I don't think for an instant that she realised that there was very VERY hot soapy water lurking there

I just think she got carried away with the bulldog idea of smooching, but nevertheless all 26 kilos of her slithered over the rim of the bath as she clambered onto me.

What happened next was all a bit of a blur.

I screamed a great deal, she grunted in a rather surprised and rather shocked way and a great deal of water left the bath amid bellows of " GET OFF ME YOU FAT BASTARD"

A few seconds later it was all over.  Wide eyed Winnie had leapt out  and had run for the safety of the bedroom and I sat in a half filled bath , winded and  covered with bruises.

I didn't move for a couple of seconds and caught my breath

Then I looked down towards the tap end

And something bumped my calf gently

Yes

OMG

Yes

A half submerged jelly fish like flotilla of bulldog turd

How's that for a shit post .?