Thursday, 22 May 2014

Rash

It's 23.10 and I am sitting here rubbing witch hazel on the top of my buttocks with a tea towel
I am allergic to nettle stings
And got a double dose on my builder's crack and thigh when
I was hurrying to retrieve Jesus from a particularly thick bunch of the stuff behind his mother's run.
I never noticed having a rash until I got home after Samaritans
Me and my delicate skin

31 comments:

  1. the t-shirt is perfect!

    ReplyDelete
  2. poor friend john! :(

    witch hazel is a great natural product; I use it on my face as a pick-me-up after a hot day.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I feel a little sick because of that butt, but when Willy Dunne Wooters undresses I always tell him how cute his butt is. My skin is delicate.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  4. Witch hazel eh? Thanks for this remedy....just in case.
    Hope your, you know, gets better soon!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Is Chris still out of town? Or asleep? Or just tired of your shenanigans?

    ReplyDelete
  6. "I was hurrying to retrieve Jesus..."

    ...and you think the aspect of how that mission unfolded that people will be most interested in is the development of a rash on your bum?

    ReplyDelete
  7. My eyes! My eyes!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ouch. And that t-shirt is perfect. And I don't want to see one in real life.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I thought it was Jesus who saves,not John?
    Jane x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfect reply...hahaha

      Jo in Auckland NZ

      Delete
  10. I have read that people eat stinging nettles ..... You would have to wear gloves ???

    ReplyDelete
  11. Good lord, I have nothing but sympathy, and the suggestion of some HCT cream, which no doubt you've considered. If you want a distraction I'll tell you about when my wife decided to pee over some poison oak.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You've now scorched my retinas with that crack. Guess misery really does love company!
    Really though, I empathise deeply, I'm allergic to everything...including the sun! Hope it clears up soon.

    ReplyDelete
  13. That shirt cracks (pun intended) me up!
    Seriously sorry about the rash, though...you poor man. I'll have to remember the witch hazel...I do like a good natural remedy.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Glad you have the witch hazel and why are you chasing the second coming?

    ReplyDelete
  15. You could ask for volunteers to help with application

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ok. You are too damn cute!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I wonder if they make a version of that T shirt featuring Charlie Dimmock?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hope the rash has become soothed. It must have been quite uncomfortable for you. Vx

    ReplyDelete
  19. That T-shirt is brilliant but I'd hate for any of the contractors here to wear it... I really don't find hairy boobs appealing.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I always rub a dock leaf on it. Mind you I get stung that often now I don't really feel them any more. Says something about parts of my garden really!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nettles are GOOD for the garden; they attract the right sort of insect.

      Delete
  21. Love that t shirt.....but Steve is right.....hairy boobs are just so eeeuugh.
    Hope your witch hazel application helped your nether regions.x

    ReplyDelete
  22. Love it! Builder's crack is very common here in NZ. With my snob button on ... Very common!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I got stung by nettles on my bottom while squatting for a wee... I was working in Antigua. A kind local man cut a slice of Aloe leaf for me to soothe the offending area !

    ReplyDelete
  24. A TEA TOWEL ho my god hope you not going to dry the cups with it
    my aromatherapy bible says lukewarm bath with 4 drops of camomile oil and 2 drops of meiissa oil no more.
    and just use the tea towle for the pots

    ReplyDelete
  25. Goosegrass affects me the same way.

    ReplyDelete
  26. "...trying to retrieve Jesus from a particularly thick bunch of the stuff..."

    Another great line.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The life and times of John Gray, coming soon to a theater near you.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I hope Jesus learns that his place is with his Mum .... not in the nettles.

    If you could see LH arms and neck now after his 'strimming the nettles saga' you would be amazed, he obviously has an allergy to them. The pair of you would be 'Itchy and Scratchy' for real.

    He's off to the Docs tonight as over a week later he is worse rather than better.

    ReplyDelete
  29. he he he... there's just so much 'carry on' about your life isn't there?

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x