Thursday, 24 April 2014

A Wild West Train


If it wasn't for the passengers, a trip on the north Wales Arriva Train service to Bangor would be a pleasurable experience , full of blue skies, blue sea and green fields.
Unfortunately most of the clientele in the cramped two coach shuttles seem to be track suit wearing, alcohol swigging, rude trailer trash type characters , who are going who knows where from who knows what.....
It's a depressing wild Wild West kind of journey, which is strangely typical of this 50 miles of coastal gateway into Wales.
At 1pm in the afternoon, I spied two swearing louts already drinking extra strength lager and I was careful not to catch their eyes as they looked like trouble.
It's a good time to listen to your ipad music and make sure you look invisible.
Apparently the boat train back from Holyhead is equally grotty. Chris always reports there are more drunks fresh from the Irish ferry ports on these trains. Loud and drunk and belligerent
Anyhow I am on the train as I am off to Chris' University to supervise him moving office. In short I am a Debbie Mc Gee to his Paul Daniels., for I am the glamorous assistant that titivates the bookshelves, rearrange the furniture and cleans the coffee stains from the shopworn mugs on-top of the filing cabinets .
Now I seldom go to the University, so I wasn't at all surprised to see several of Chris' fellow academics " popping in"  for a chat.....I suspect that they just wanted to check me out for themselves. Probably to see if I was as scruffy as Chris makes out that I am
I am sure that I didn't disappoint!
I know I had odd socks on!

49 comments:

  1. The kids say it's trendy to wear odd socks you know lol x

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  2. Train rides can be hell for distinguished bearded man as yourself. I wonder if seeing your socks would have made them sit taller, drink less?

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  3. Why didn't you drive there John by car? Chris now probably has the tidiest office at the university!! you may just have gotten another part-time job!

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    1. Despite the grotty passengers
      It's easier to go by train

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  4. Sounds like the Amtrak we took from NY to Toronto. Never. Again.

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  5. Ha ha - you sound like me when I am a tourist, complaining the everything is spoilt by 'tourists'!

    Anyway, this will cheer you up:

    I have inside information about WHO is switching on Bath's Christmas lights this year...

    Cliff Richard.

    I can get you front row tickets as well. Get your fat arses down here to see the living, straight (honest to God) legend before the picture in the attic goes mouldy.

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    1. Fat arses?
      How very dare you

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    2. How come every year Cliff looks younger when we all look older.....must be all that tennis ;-)

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    3. Monkey glands injected into his buttocks

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    4. Fat arse I said, and fat arse I maintain. There. I said it. (I'm so proud of myself!)

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    5. You have never seen my arse
      You bitch

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    6. Give me a high five girlfriend!

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  6. did you at least have on clean trousers and polished shoes? no one will see the sox unless you pull the trouser legs up. or drop the trousers.

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  7. Did you give the academics a twirl?
    Jane x

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    Replies
    1. And a big " taaaadaaaaaaaaa!"

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  8. We have a similar train to Skegness. We call it the cronky bus...

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    Replies
    1. I went to skeggie once
      A bloody depressing experience to be sure

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    2. Me too. There were only chip shops and tattoo shops!
      I was on a diet. I now have a strawberry on my thigh. I'm not sure why. My mother is still waiting for it to wash off.

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  9. glad you remained true to form John...you wouldn't want to make Chris out a fibber

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  10. i call my mismatched socks eccentric!

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  11. You? Glamorous? I think not my man.

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    1. You have met me
      You know better johno!

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    2. Ah that's where defence collapses my man, I have indeed met you....case dismissed.

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  12. Cliff Richard recently said 'If I was gay would it make any difference' and, while not a fan of his music, I rather admire him for that.

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    Replies
    1. Jan
      Being straight or gay
      Is the least interesting part of an individual

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  13. I agree. Bonne nuit (my French is getting better)x

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  14. I hope you had a clean pinny on!

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  15. Nope, just wearing jeans!

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    1. And odd socks xxx

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    2. Enough of this frivolity, time to take the dogs out, after I've woken them up and take them to bed!

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  16. I hope you are exaggerating a tiny bit about your fellow passengers.

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  17. Your description of soused tourists matches to a T the stereotype the French hold of holidaying "rosbifs" who cross the channel for a weekend or more. Didn't really know what they were talking about until I went to the Formula 1 time trials at Le Mans. Innnnnteresting....

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  18. Hahaha. Good on you helping him move office, John. Sorry to hear the trains are so unsavory to ride on. I would be afraid to ride them.
    Have a wonderful Friday, John. ♥

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  19. I had to "embiggen" your picture to see the seat was not a headless mannequin. Would have been fitting, no?

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  20. Eons ago, in the days when I would regularly drive between the UK and France, I would take the ferry from Newhaven to Dieppe. It was amazing to see how many would go directly to the bar, then drink for the rest of the 4 hour journey. And all this at 6am in the morning!!!

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  21. please please let us all start a campain no drinking booze on trains your ride was heart felt us oap do not travel because of this.
    Did chris need his office cleaning OR did he just whant to show you off ???

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  22. I've no doubt that wherever you go the decorum that you manifest shames all around you.

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  23. I suspect you charmed them all.....it is the man not the schmutter that matters....

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  24. Been reading your blog for ages John but couldn't figure out how to comment.
    Now that I have...... can't think of anything to say!!

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  25. Most academics I know are desperate for a break from the tedium of marking, admin etc and they'd jump at the chance to check out their colleague's partner for a few minutes. I hope they enjoyed the requisite level of scruffiness, odd socks, food stains etc. Mind you, some academics are much scruffier than you could ever achieve.

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  26. Perhaps you should enrol at the university as a mature student and take a short course in "Male Grooming"...err, I mean hair and attire - not the other sort of grooming!

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  27. 2 sides to this They were drunk on the train and not drunk driving. The other side it makes the whole journey awful.

    I used to use the train, but after an unsavoury trip that meant I had to get off at Bristol Temple Meads and on to a train that was packed. I then lost my reserved seat due to the other train having problems.

    I found myself sat on my suitcase in the alley where you board and yobs got on. Due to it being the beginning of school hols all the uni students were sitting on their cases in the carriage aisles. I was stuck and couldn't go forward or back and was stuck where I was with awful drunk men. Even if I had shouted no one would have been able to get to me.

    How in the world are they ever allowed to let so many people board a train. if it was a bus the police would have pulled them over. Plus do they really need to serve alcohol on a train (or petrol stations for that matter? who the hell allowed that?)

    A very scary 2.5 hours, spent with lechy men. We don't let my mum use the train any more. if that happened to her she would panic. And the cost of the ticket.... OMG

    moving on. If I have matching socks I wear them, if not whats the problem as long as they are clean. The sock (Bermuda) triangle is in full force in this house...

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    1. Some good points there sol

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  28. I love traveling by train, but I hate loud, rude, drunks. I prefer sleeping drunks and people who have forgotten their cell phones.

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