"I'll admit I may have seen better days,
but I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail,
"(Margo Channing)
Is it bad form?
I am going to my Uncle's funeral on Friday. It's will be held in Rotherham in South Yorkshire, so I am going over to Sheffield on Thursday night . There's method in my madness, cos I am meeting up with my three best friends, camp John, straight Mike and sweetie Jane on Thursday night for a love fest in Sheffield's all bar one
Is that wrong?
It doesn't feel wrong
But IS it?
As long as you give your uncle your full attention during the services I can't see a thing wrong with being with friends either before or after. In fact, I think it would probably be a good thing.
Life is for living. Pay your respects the morning after the night before. My Dad didn't want a funeral. Before he died he set up a lunch for his coworkers and friends to come, eat, and natter.
Yoiu have to promise to salute your Uncle on the first drink! I 'd like to think he's approve... because love is all there is and he is loving you from afar. Ruth in Oxnard CA
Wrong? No. And I am sure your uncle would agree. If I knew where my guilt button was I would disconnect it. Permanently. It has only ever given me grief. And misplaced grief is its specialty.
i would like to think every one would enjoy them selfs at my wake i got my sandels ou on sunday when it was sunny now i refuse to put them back so wearing sandles and thermel socks is that wrong????
Not wrong at all. At my aunt's funeral recently it was great to catch up with all the cousins and old neighbours. It was a really happy occasion and we all had a good time. My aunt would have very much approved and enjoyed it herself.
Sounds good to me... I'm going to the funeral of a 90 year old neighbour tomorrow. I'm off to buy a new dress today in her honour as I named her, " The best dressed lady in the village " we are gathering after in her favourite cafe afterwards & I expect it will be jolly - like she was.
Funerals are about gatherings. Enjoy your night with friends x
Nothing wrong about that at all. When my husband died completely out of the blue less than a week after his 41st birthday, of course that was terrible. But when his sisters and niece came over for the funeral service, it made me happy to see them, and although it may sound strange, we did have a lovely few days together (and shared a good laugh or two, talking about Steve when he was a kid, and so on) before they had to go back to Yorkshire. Life is too short to miss out on occasions to spend happy times with friends.
Mieke, my sympathies for your loss. When you have spoken about your husband in the past, I always got the impression he was still alive. My father died at 36 and my son's father at 38, both unexpectedly too. My warmest wishes xx
I would love to be a BEST best friend. I haven't even got A friend! Enjoy the time with your pals on Thursday, it will give you something nice to reflect on if the funeral becomes a bit too much. Don't start laughing though!!! x
Wrong? Not at all. I'm sure your uncle approves. I find funerals and the days leading up to it, are a good place to catch up with friends and family (even if they're not involved) living in that area. You normally haven't seen them since granddad passed away! Enjoy yourself John! xxx
It will be good to be buoyed up by the love and companionship of your friends before you say goodbye to your Uncle.
Raise a glass to your Uncle while you are out and thank him for the opportunity to see your friends, you most likely wouldn't have seen them for ages otherwise.
Course it's not John. Its good time management to fit in seeing friends you may not have otherwise seen. Life goes on after all. Condolences for your Uncle but enjoy your catch up with friends. Life is too short not to cram it to the gunnels with good things x
Hi, I've finally worked out how to drive this thing, so am able to comment after reading for yonks. No, I don't think it is the least disrespectful, have a fab time with your friends. Cheers. Cathy
A funeral should be the celebration of someone's LIFE as much as marking their death. Consider your Thursday night celebration as a nod to the importance of a life well lived. Plus, a hangover will give you the appropriate countenance for a funeral.
Go and meet your friends. When your relations will let you down you can still rely on good friends. I love the names you have given your friends.With such names it already sounds like a fun day. Also, while at the funeral try to reconnect with some other friends or family that you might not have spoken to for a while. Funerals can be a great social gathering. Here in Ireland I`d often be quicker to go to a funeral than a wedding. Have fun.
Sorry to hear about your uncle. No, i don't think it wrong for you to meet up with friends beforehand. When i've had to travel a distance to attend a relative's funeral, i sometimes took the opportunity to visit with friends as well.
Wrong? How? I would like to think your uncle would approve. have fun with your friends.
ReplyDeleteOk jimbo...I don't feel guilty any more
DeleteNo not at all. Your uncle would want you to. Being with people is important especially at a time like that.
ReplyDeleteI thought nuala (sp?) was your bestie. Bff? Whatever.
ReplyDeleteNuala is my best BEST friend... She lives in London
DeleteMike, camp john and Jane are my best Yorkshire friends x
Nice save.
DeleteReal truth xx
DeleteHave agree with Jim, and you don't have to be sad to show your respect for someone.
ReplyDeleteI may be hungover?
DeleteI bloody well hope so!
DeleteAs long as you give your uncle your full attention during the services I can't see a thing wrong with being with friends either before or after. In fact, I think it would probably be a good thing.
ReplyDeletenope, you have a right to see your friends (the living). but at the funeral be mindful of the person who has passed.
ReplyDeleteLife is for living. Pay your respects the morning after the night before. My Dad didn't want a funeral. Before he died he set up a lunch for his coworkers and friends to come, eat, and natter.
ReplyDeleteNot wrong at all - have a blast w/your pals and I'm looking forward to the post about that day!
ReplyDeleteomg..go for it! this is what death is all about! get drunk and have fun. laugh your arses off!
ReplyDeleteYour uncle would be disappointed with any other arrangement. That's how old people think, you know.
ReplyDeleteNo, not wrong. Sensible to combine two events into one journey. Saves petrol and time.
ReplyDeleteGuilt is awful. Have a few drinks with your friends and it will go away. Gargle with nasty mouthwash and wear dark glasses the next day.
ReplyDeleteYour uncle would be proud that you are being economical.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss.
But Nuala won't be there.
ReplyDeleteYoiu have to promise to salute your Uncle on the first drink! I 'd like to think he's approve... because love is all there is and he is loving you from afar.
ReplyDeleteRuth in Oxnard CA
Life goes on. Enjoy your friends and have a drink for your uncle.
ReplyDeleteWrong? No. And I am sure your uncle would agree. If I knew where my guilt button was I would disconnect it. Permanently. It has only ever given me grief. And misplaced grief is its specialty.
ReplyDeleteLife is for the living...so live.
ReplyDeleteJane x
No, he wouldn't mind. If he could, he would join in for some pints.
ReplyDeleteNot at all wrong! Being with good friends the night before will give you strength for the day that follows.
ReplyDeleteMay also give you a hangover, so bring some Tylenol along with you!
No, not wrong at all. I think your Uncle would like it if you met up with friends.
ReplyDeletecheers, parsnip
A funeral is not designed to be MISERABLE, regardless of what so many Welsh Methodists would have you believe. Just think New Orleans marching bands!
ReplyDeleteLike how you think!
Deletei would like to think every one would enjoy them selfs at my wake
ReplyDeletei got my sandels ou on sunday when it was sunny now i refuse to put them back so wearing sandles and thermel socks is that wrong????
Nothing wrong with that John. Life still goes on for the living, and you can always toast the old fellow as well.
ReplyDeleteNot wrong at all.
ReplyDeleteAt my aunt's funeral recently it was great to catch up with all the cousins and old neighbours. It was a really happy occasion and we all had a good time.
My aunt would have very much approved and enjoyed it herself.
At most funerals you have a drink afterwards, so nowt wrong with one before as well..enjoy your friends' company .
ReplyDeleteSounds good to me... I'm going to the funeral of a 90 year old neighbour tomorrow. I'm off to buy a new dress today in her honour as I named her, " The best dressed lady in the village " we are gathering after in her favourite cafe afterwards & I expect it will be jolly - like she was.
ReplyDeleteFunerals are about gatherings. Enjoy your night with friends x
Nothing wrong about that at all.
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband died completely out of the blue less than a week after his 41st birthday, of course that was terrible. But when his sisters and niece came over for the funeral service, it made me happy to see them, and although it may sound strange, we did have a lovely few days together (and shared a good laugh or two, talking about Steve when he was a kid, and so on) before they had to go back to Yorkshire.
Life is too short to miss out on occasions to spend happy times with friends.
Mieke, my sympathies for your loss. When you have spoken about your husband in the past, I always got the impression he was still alive. My father died at 36 and my son's father at 38, both unexpectedly too. My warmest wishes xx
DeleteThank you, Carol, for your very kind words.
DeleteI would love to be a BEST best friend. I haven't even got A friend! Enjoy the time with your pals on Thursday, it will give you something nice to reflect on if the funeral becomes a bit too much. Don't start laughing though!!! x
ReplyDeleteWrong? Not at all. I'm sure your uncle approves. I find funerals and the days leading up to it, are a good place to catch up with friends and family (even if they're not involved) living in that area. You normally haven't seen them since granddad passed away! Enjoy yourself John! xxx
ReplyDeleteOf course it bloody isn't. That would be like saying it's disrespectful to the dead to eat at a wake, knowing that they can't.
ReplyDeleteNot wrong AT ALL.
ReplyDeleteIt will be good to be buoyed up by the love and companionship of your friends before you say goodbye to your Uncle.
Raise a glass to your Uncle while you are out and thank him for the opportunity to see your friends, you most likely wouldn't have seen them for ages otherwise.
Never wrong, John. Life is for the living, and surely your Uncle would not want you to not live? xx
ReplyDeleteIn life there is death and in death there is life....celebrate life!
ReplyDeleteCourse it's not John. Its good time management to fit in seeing friends you may not have otherwise seen. Life goes on after all. Condolences for your Uncle but enjoy your catch up with friends. Life is too short not to cram it to the gunnels with good things x
ReplyDeleteDitto all of the above comments!
ReplyDeleteOf course it's not wrong. Have an extra drink for me!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi, I've finally worked out how to drive this thing, so am able to comment after reading for yonks. No, I don't think it is the least disrespectful, have a fab time with your friends. Cheers. Cathy
ReplyDeleteHello catch. Nice to have you aboard x
DeleteAbsolutely not bad form from my perspective. In Jerry's family the tradition is to go to the casino the evening after a funeral.
ReplyDeleteA funeral should be the celebration of someone's LIFE as much as marking their death. Consider your Thursday night celebration as a nod to the importance of a life well lived. Plus, a hangover will give you the appropriate countenance for a funeral.
ReplyDeleteInstead of calling it a funeral call it a celebration of life, always makes me feel better.
ReplyDeleteGo and meet your friends. When your relations will let you down you can still rely on good friends. I love the names you have given your friends.With such names it already sounds like a fun day. Also, while at the funeral try to reconnect with some other friends or family that you might not have spoken to for a while. Funerals can be a great social gathering. Here in Ireland I`d often be quicker to go to a funeral than a wedding. Have fun.
ReplyDeleteThanks tony !
DeleteI'll post some photos of them on line..so you can judge the names are right
Nothing wrong unless you show up drunk at the funeral. I'm glad you know I'm a sweetie.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Sorry to hear about your uncle. No, i don't think it wrong for you to meet up with friends beforehand. When i've had to travel a distance to attend a relative's funeral, i sometimes took the opportunity to visit with friends as well.
ReplyDelete