" ohhhh Eileen"

I completed some last minute shopping this morning
and while I was standing at the checkout of one particular squeaky clean department
store I overheard this conversation
First assistant : " Eileen, there's a dreadful smell by this till...it smells like  the drains"
Eileen ( sniffing) " oh lord you're right...I've just been outside, I wonder if I stepped in something"
They checked their shoes
and waved the air like old ladies
I grabbed my shopping and legged it
I should have known
In the pocket of my hooded top
was the hastily bagged up  and forgotten about waste products of
Of one smelly arsed bulldog.