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| A black dot, George lagging behind old farter |
Before dusk, I took the dogs for a walk on the old railway line between Dyserth and Prestatyn
Where the sprouts reeked their revenge
I counted 21 farts in a one mile stretch
Is that a record?
I need to get a life
some days you just need a little jet propulsion to help you on your way :)
ReplyDeleteA 21 fart salute!
DeleteI bet it sounded like an old train running down those tracks...poot, poot, poooot.
ReplyDeleteLol
~Jo
More like one of those old lady farts ...the ones that synchronise with each step
DeleteMy Gran used to do that, then she'd stomp her foot repeatedly like she had something stuck to the bottom of her shoe. Cracked us grandkids up!
DeleteJane - I love this idea! I'm going to cultivate it for when I get old.
Delete21, hm? I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or not. Oh, what the heck - well done!!
ReplyDeleteI....thank....you
DeleteI could tell that was a Scottie walking down the road.
ReplyDeleteGood thing you walked down a quiet road.
cheers, parsnip
I love your blog it gets classier and classier. As my granny used to say, "church or chapel, let it rattle."
ReplyDeleteI will use that one
DeleteHow is it that I can write a blog of the utmost importance, one where I have taken the time to do my research, nail my quotes, correct all my spelling and in the end get only two comments, when you can rattle off a few lines about the tracking of your gas patterns...and get many more? Life is so cruel, so unfair, so very smelly.
ReplyDeleteOh Donna......I know, you always work so hard on your posts especially with the illustrations!
DeletePeople like reading bollocks I am afraid x
…. and you are awarded ten extra points for that lovely blog title!
ReplyDeleteI double thank you
DeleteI am shaking with Giggles. If I was a boy of 6 I would scream with laughter. And pretend I could smell it from here holding my nose.
ReplyDeleteArent we Brits obsessed with toilet talk. I laugh at the word guff. I find it hilarious.
Get a grip sol
Delete,
!
its no good I am cracking up at windy pops. isn't that what Nana's say about babies farting to make it sound as they aren't emitting gas.
ReplyDeletebotty cough is another one! lmao I am loving this post today.
There is a lot to be said for a solitary walk in fresh air, John.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever noticed, correct me if I am wrong, that cats don't pass wind? How come?
U
Read this fart blog entry from last year and you will have an
DeleteArrrhhhaaaa moment
http://disasterfilm.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/and-on-lighter-note.html
bitchontheblog, cats do indeed fart, I have never heard one, but my kitten pops one off in my face quite regularly! Phewey oooo!
DeleteMy cats DEFINATELY pass wind, and delight in hopping up onto my lap and silently releasing a felix "flavoured" fart....perhaps other cats are more gentile?
DeleteAnd the emissions from some cats could be used as paint stripper. And certainly make my eyes water.
DeleteThank you, John, and everyone. What an education. They do say that the sense of smell is the last one to go.
DeleteU
No wonder George was lagging behind!
ReplyDeleteWell, as my gran used to say, "There's more room on the outside than the inside!" LOL
ReplyDeleteWell, that sounds like a healthy lot of exercise, both inside and out.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's done the ozone layer a whole lot of good!
ReplyDeleteJane x
That is what you get for eating sprout soup. It does not even sound appetizing. Or am I wrong?
ReplyDeleteIt tasted like shit fifi
DeleteWith all due respect, John, sprout soup sounds disgusting! None for me, thanks!
ReplyDeleteBut Judith it was no points on weightwatchers!
DeleteH.I. once counted mine over a twelve hour period, but she lost track/interest after about the 30th. I have to admit to rising to the challenge.
ReplyDeleteThe challenge is on
DeleteA 24 hour assessment?
Results on Monday morning?
You are to fart at least 21 times a day or more as a sign of good health; thought an Old Fart would know these things? xx
ReplyDeleteHow about 21 in 15 minutes?
DeleteSprout soup??? I will not comment further.
ReplyDeleteImpressive fartrogen production Mr Gray. However, your culinary repertoire needs work.
ReplyDeleteWhat is sprout soup? If it's unidentifiable, no wonder you fizzled and popped your way down the road. I've never counted my farts, but I doubt if I can beat 21 during one walk. You've brightened the day, John, and made it stinkier.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Oh please not Brussels sprouts.... eeeeyuw! Worse than farts!
ReplyDeleteI'm in a fog...who was farting, you or the dog...
ReplyDeleteSusie
DeleteI am saying this slowly
Me.....too much spout soup
Xxxxx
Me.....too much shoveling
DeleteZzzzzz
I am so glad you shared this John! George seems to be the only civilized one around!! lol
ReplyDeleteSometimes there is just no news to report jimbo
DeleteOh, I can attest to that, John!
Deleteonly you John, only you...
ReplyDeleteJohn,
ReplyDeleteAt least you weren't whistling Dixie.............Bahahahahahaha!!!!!
Poor George was obviously down wind then?
ReplyDeleteJo xx
So was the whole of Rhyl
DeleteMy aunt holds the record but you came close!
ReplyDeleteBloody hell
DeleteI am sure I could beat e old bag
I don't blame George.....you need only to add some onions and cabbage and you could blast off!
ReplyDeleteHaha sounds like a nice walk. You gotta let go every now and then!
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteMy sides and stomach hurt from laughing so much at this post and the comments. It doesn't seem to matter how old i become, farts are funny.
ReplyDeleteBravo! I think your life sounds quite fantastic!
ReplyDeletecheese louise, john...you ARE a mess. I feel sorry for george, being downwind from you and all.
ReplyDeleteSomeone should invent a fartometer. I am sure they would be big sellers and make millions.
ReplyDeleteI think my son would give you a run for your money!
ReplyDeleteGeorge wasn't lagging. He probably didn't want to get blamed if you met someone.
ReplyDeleteYou're too late - the Guiness Book of World Record Day was the 9th! Darn it.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOoooh, John and Tom are having a fart-off! Results in the morning please. My money's on John.
ReplyDeleteSo it wasn't a cloud of radioactive gas drifting over Prestatyn ......
ReplyDeleteSprout soup could be the answer to reducing our energy bills but how can we bottle all that gas? Maybe a connecting rubber pipe?
ReplyDeleteIs sprout soup on the weightwatcher menu?
ReplyDeleteA dear old friend once told me, there is more room on the outside than on the inside.
ReplyDeleteDG
Just consider it a rehearsal for the post Jerusalem Artichoke duvet warming onslaught!
ReplyDeletereminds me of a rhyme i said as a kid:
ReplyDeletebaked beans, good for your heart
baked beans, make you fart
the more you fart, the better your heart
baked beans, good for your heart