Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Windypops

A black dot, George lagging behind old farter
No rain but sunshine today...the first in an absolute age. I made a huge pan of sprout soup for my lunch ( don't try it at home folks) then spent the day making the most of the fine weather and cleaned out coops for my sins.
Before dusk, I took the dogs for a walk on the old railway line between Dyserth and Prestatyn
Where the sprouts reeked their revenge
I counted 21 farts in a one mile stretch
Is that a record?
I need to get a life

70 comments:

  1. some days you just need a little jet propulsion to help you on your way :)

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  2. I bet it sounded like an old train running down those tracks...poot, poot, poooot.
    Lol
    ~Jo

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    Replies
    1. More like one of those old lady farts ...the ones that synchronise with each step

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    2. My Gran used to do that, then she'd stomp her foot repeatedly like she had something stuck to the bottom of her shoe. Cracked us grandkids up!

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    3. Jane - I love this idea! I'm going to cultivate it for when I get old.

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  3. 21, hm? I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or not. Oh, what the heck - well done!!

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  4. I could tell that was a Scottie walking down the road.
    Good thing you walked down a quiet road.

    cheers, parsnip

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  5. I love your blog it gets classier and classier. As my granny used to say, "church or chapel, let it rattle."

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  6. How is it that I can write a blog of the utmost importance, one where I have taken the time to do my research, nail my quotes, correct all my spelling and in the end get only two comments, when you can rattle off a few lines about the tracking of your gas patterns...and get many more? Life is so cruel, so unfair, so very smelly.

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    Replies
    1. Oh Donna......I know, you always work so hard on your posts especially with the illustrations!
      People like reading bollocks I am afraid x

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  7. …. and you are awarded ten extra points for that lovely blog title!

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  8. I am shaking with Giggles. If I was a boy of 6 I would scream with laughter. And pretend I could smell it from here holding my nose.

    Arent we Brits obsessed with toilet talk. I laugh at the word guff. I find it hilarious.

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  9. its no good I am cracking up at windy pops. isn't that what Nana's say about babies farting to make it sound as they aren't emitting gas.

    botty cough is another one! lmao I am loving this post today.

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  10. There is a lot to be said for a solitary walk in fresh air, John.

    Have you ever noticed, correct me if I am wrong, that cats don't pass wind? How come?

    U

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    Replies
    1. Read this fart blog entry from last year and you will have an
      Arrrhhhaaaa moment

      http://disasterfilm.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/and-on-lighter-note.html

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    2. bitchontheblog, cats do indeed fart, I have never heard one, but my kitten pops one off in my face quite regularly! Phewey oooo!

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    3. My cats DEFINATELY pass wind, and delight in hopping up onto my lap and silently releasing a felix "flavoured" fart....perhaps other cats are more gentile?

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    4. And the emissions from some cats could be used as paint stripper. And certainly make my eyes water.

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    5. Thank you, John, and everyone. What an education. They do say that the sense of smell is the last one to go.

      U

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  11. No wonder George was lagging behind!

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  12. Well, as my gran used to say, "There's more room on the outside than the inside!" LOL

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  13. Well, that sounds like a healthy lot of exercise, both inside and out.

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  14. Well, that's done the ozone layer a whole lot of good!
    Jane x

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  15. That is what you get for eating sprout soup. It does not even sound appetizing. Or am I wrong?

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    Replies
    1. It tasted like shit fifi

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  16. With all due respect, John, sprout soup sounds disgusting! None for me, thanks!

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    Replies
    1. But Judith it was no points on weightwatchers!

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  17. H.I. once counted mine over a twelve hour period, but she lost track/interest after about the 30th. I have to admit to rising to the challenge.

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    Replies
    1. The challenge is on
      A 24 hour assessment?
      Results on Monday morning?

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  18. You are to fart at least 21 times a day or more as a sign of good health; thought an Old Fart would know these things? xx

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    Replies
    1. How about 21 in 15 minutes?

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  19. Sprout soup??? I will not comment further.

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  20. Impressive fartrogen production Mr Gray. However, your culinary repertoire needs work.

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  21. What is sprout soup? If it's unidentifiable, no wonder you fizzled and popped your way down the road. I've never counted my farts, but I doubt if I can beat 21 during one walk. You've brightened the day, John, and made it stinkier.

    Love,
    Janie

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  22. Oh please not Brussels sprouts.... eeeeyuw! Worse than farts!

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  23. I'm in a fog...who was farting, you or the dog...

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    Replies
    1. Susie
      I am saying this slowly
      Me.....too much spout soup
      Xxxxx

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    2. Me.....too much shoveling
      Zzzzzz

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  24. I am so glad you shared this John! George seems to be the only civilized one around!! lol

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    Replies
    1. Sometimes there is just no news to report jimbo

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    2. Oh, I can attest to that, John!

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  25. only you John, only you...

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  26. John,

    At least you weren't whistling Dixie.............Bahahahahahaha!!!!!

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  27. Poor George was obviously down wind then?
    Jo xx

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    Replies
    1. So was the whole of Rhyl

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  28. My aunt holds the record but you came close!

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    Replies
    1. Bloody hell
      I am sure I could beat e old bag

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  29. I don't blame George.....you need only to add some onions and cabbage and you could blast off!

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  30. Haha sounds like a nice walk. You gotta let go every now and then!

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  31. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

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  32. My sides and stomach hurt from laughing so much at this post and the comments. It doesn't seem to matter how old i become, farts are funny.

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  33. Bravo! I think your life sounds quite fantastic!

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  34. cheese louise, john...you ARE a mess. I feel sorry for george, being downwind from you and all.

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  35. Someone should invent a fartometer. I am sure they would be big sellers and make millions.

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  36. I think my son would give you a run for your money!

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  37. George wasn't lagging. He probably didn't want to get blamed if you met someone.

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  38. You're too late - the Guiness Book of World Record Day was the 9th! Darn it.

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  39. Bwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  40. Ooooh, John and Tom are having a fart-off! Results in the morning please. My money's on John.

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  41. So it wasn't a cloud of radioactive gas drifting over Prestatyn ......

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  42. Sprout soup could be the answer to reducing our energy bills but how can we bottle all that gas? Maybe a connecting rubber pipe?

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  43. Is sprout soup on the weightwatcher menu?

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  44. A dear old friend once told me, there is more room on the outside than on the inside.

    DG

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  45. Just consider it a rehearsal for the post Jerusalem Artichoke duvet warming onslaught!

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  46. reminds me of a rhyme i said as a kid:

    baked beans, good for your heart
    baked beans, make you fart
    the more you fart, the better your heart
    baked beans, good for your heart

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