Monday, 11 November 2013

A Dirty Muffin


Am I the only person that sees the funny side of very ordinary things?
I was sat in the vets early this morning with a very itchy William
( now there's a double entendre if ever I wrote one)
And I was Hoping that George Clooney was on duty
There were three customers
Me
and two middle aged women, both with cats in carriers
We introduced our pets in passing
William
Smegal
And a somewhat angry looking Persian called muffin
Muffin's owner called over to the receptionist and asked which vet was taking the clinic
" I have to tell you before I go in" she confessed " that he's been living in an outbuilding for a few months"
The woman looked over at me, and in way of explanation said in a very posh voice that her
" Muffin  was all wet, dirty and terribly unkempt "
I bit my cheek and looked down at the floor
as the receptionist started to cough

66 comments:

  1. If anyone didn't quite believe my story about gay Gordon
    Have a look at this conformation
    It did make me titter

    http://disasterfilm.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/chris-does-bus.html?m=0

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I heard a well-to-do matron saying that she wanted some 'tongue and groove' in a wood yard once. The response was, "Don't we all, Madam".

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    2. Tom.....I waited for your comment and you didn't disappoint

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  2. I'd rather not know about the state of your muffin, thanks very much.

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    Replies
    1. I am muffin-less nick
      Thank the lord

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    2. Are you talking about Urban Dictionary #1, or the kind that hangs over your pants, or both?

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. I thought muffin was that roll of fat hanging over my jeans ? I'm confused.

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  5. Was she practising for the part of Mrs Slowcombe?

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    Replies
    1. She was too well dressed

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  6. hope that woman did not expect YOU to groom her "wet, dirty and terribly unkempt" muffin. yes, I AM a 12 year old boy sometimes. and I am sorry to hear about your itchy william; you REALLY need chris to look after that! :-b

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    Replies
    1. Welcome to my world.... Or me to yours x

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  7. Have you seen the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man - Have you seen the muffin man who lives down the lane*?

    * The lane in question being the one that runs round the back of the church in Trelawnyd!

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    Replies
    1. I have never held a muffin YP

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  8. I am shocked that she keeps her muffin in a outbuilding. I keep mine with me at all times!

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    Replies
    1. ...in case of emergencies?

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  9. Could of been worse for muffin he could of been itchy to. What was Willams itchy problem?

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    Replies
    1. He has an allergy problem which we have not got to the bottom of

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    2. Likely allergic to people...

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    3. Could it be his diet? My dog periodically comes up in huge itchy bumps which can be anywhere on her anatomy and drive us all mad with the scratching. The vets have all been totally flummoxed and not really been any help except for prescribing steroids for when it's at its worst. We have improved things no end by feeding her different stuff.

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    4. We have tried jean
      He flares up especially when his " glands" are full

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  10. Things overheard in passing....

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  11. You did a better job of stifling your laughter than would have. Honestly, I think seeing the funny side of ordinary things is one of the keys to a happy life!

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  12. Oh! a bit of Monday mirth had me sniggering,chortling and choking with laughter! Thanks for that John!

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  13. I think I've just found someone as barmy as you....

    http://viewsfromthebikeshed.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/collections-19-scotch-egg-photographs.html

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    Replies
    1. I haven't followed this blog for a while..thanks for the pointer kath x

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  14. You could at least have asked her if she combs it regularly.

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  15. Monday morning smut - lovely.

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  16. Flashbacks to Are You Being Served?

    No, you're not the only one who hears subtexts in these things. Hanging around chefs will corrupt you, too. Many a time I have found myself in similar circumstances, wishing I weren't alone and could share a glance with someone like you!

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  17. There used to be a department store in Bradford called Brown Muffs. One of my previous husbands was an insurance broker handling their account, in the days when everything was on paper, computers being unheard of.
    One day he took a call from their manager to which he shouted across the office "who's got Brown Muffs?"
    He was rather confused when all but one of the female insurance clerks put their hands up !!

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    Replies
    1. Splort! There goes my coffee!

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  18. Hilarious...I hope that her Muffin made out okay.

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  19. My breakfast muffin with never look or taste the same ...

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  20. I'm laughing so much I can hardly breathe. I shall have to walk away from this blog for a while....

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  21. I laughed so hard I wheezed, and I don't even have asthma.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. You dirty breather you

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    2. It's your fault, you dirty muffin fucker.

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    3. Ok ok u win lol

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  22. OMG itchy willy and mucky muffin. The mind boggles.

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  23. I had to return for a second time to read this post as it is so funny. It has started me laughing again! You describe the scene so well John.

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  24. I DID like the itchy willy comment

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  25. And scene.
    Honestly, you may need to do audio on some of these posts.

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  26. Itchy Willy and dirty muffin sound like a porn movie, not that I have ever seen one, oh no, never, not me.

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  27. Oh John, I wouldn't have kept my mouth shut..................I would have had to say something, lol

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  28. standing in a shop browsing by the door.
    A young couple came in, she wafting scent as she walked.
    "Oh" he said as she walked through the door ahead of him and the heater blew the (rather overpowering) perfume back "I can smell your Froufrou"
    And of course I wet myself

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    Replies
    1. Haha, brilliant Elaine :-)

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    2. Lol....similar to victoria woods DINNERLADIES
      When the woman shouts
      " have you seen my Clint?"

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  29. Not just you...

    I was in the queue at Costa the other day and the pretty girl behind the counter said "Coffee for you sir?" I replied with "Skinny Latte please" (how bourgeois!) to which she smiled and said "Can I tempt you with any muffin sir?" I managed to keep a straight face but the guy behind me exploded in a coughing fit

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  30. LOL!
    This morning I was writing a new blog post and I mean to say "fill it up"...but started to spell fill, "feel"...YIKES! I deleted the entire sentence and went about it another way.

    Cindy Bee

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  31. Well, at least she called it her "little" muffin.

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  32. Itchy William, meet Dirty Muffin. I think I've seen that film. ;)

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  33. That's so funny. Unfortunately, I was in that woman's shoes the other day when the computer tech asked me what was wrong with my computer and I came out with 'It keeps going down on me'. I had to leave very quickly.

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  34. I think i would've burst out laughing.

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  35. That made me laugh. And by way of return...

    A friend last night was boasting to me that she had brought herself several hard hats in bright colours as she was fed up having to wear the standard yellow ones at work.

    Then proudly showed me her purple helmet.

    I left the obvious comment to the riggers on her next job.

    ReplyDelete

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