" what have you done today dear?"

Ok , perhaps I am being somewhat of a martyr again

Chris went into work late today

And before he left, he caught me scrubbing dog  paw prints out of the living room carpet

" what are you doing?" He asked

" origami" I almost said but thought better of it

" getting shitty footprints out of the shagpile" I told him

" what happened to the carpet cleaner?" He asked

" he got to 51 almost unscathed" I almost said again

It's 2pm and so far today I have

Scrubbed the lounge carpet'

Bleached the kitchen

Done some washing

Cleaned the bog,

Bathed Meg and carefully cut four clingons from her bum,

Cleaned shit stains from bath enamel ( Meg's btw)

Updated online bulldog insurance

Moved ladder out of the church at church warden's request

Collected layers pellets from farm shop

Made cup of coffee ( forgot to drink it)

Fed and watered the animals,

Delivered eggs around village,

Walked dogs ( twice)

Fed cat

Fed dogs

Fed rabbit,

Petted cat

Petted dogs,

Petted rabbit,

Cleaned logburner out

Stubbed toe on corner of couch during hoovering

Swore a great deal

Cleaned bulldog face wrinkles out with a cotton bud

Did the weekly shop at the supermarket

( According to the checkout girl we saved £ 1.22 shopping at Tesco)

Cut grass in front garden

Made two phone calls

Prepared supper

And cleaned cottage

I have just sat down with another cup of coffee

And the cat has just puked up on the living room rug

And four dogs are now  fighting over the spoils

I give up