|The former vicarage gardens where the show is held|
Of course there are always a few difficult customers.
" How much to come in love?" One old bag asked
" £ 1.50 " I said giving her big smile
" HOW MUCH?" She shrieked
I repeated myself and added in my best PR voice " there's lots to see and enjoy"
" You can bugger off" she said huffing away.
So I couldn't resist a call of
" have a nice day" as she left
She wasn't my favourite bad tempered customer.
And Chris can verify this story as he was stood feet away from the exchange, which had to be seen to be believed ( he has actually left his first (AND LAST) comment on GOING GENTLY below!)
Very old lady in a blue mac. She walks firmly up to my " meet, greet and pay " table and plonks down a one pound coin.
I smile and say in my best Nanette Newman voice
" I' m sorry admission is £ 1.50 I'm afraid"
She starred at me long and hard
" I am not going to be very long" she muttered
I smiled again
" Admission is still £1.50, you can't just have a pound's worth of a look"
There was then a bit of a stand off.
The pressure was on
The queue was starting to form and she knew she had me at a slight disadvantage
She gave me another long stare
I thought I would play it hard ball
So I looked the old bat straight in the eye and said slowly
She then played her trump card
And I am not exaggerating when I say this,
For suddenly she started to make a noise I can only liken to Robert Newton's Pirate voice from the film TREASURE ISLAND
" arrrhhhhhhhh arrrhhhhhhh arhhhh" she croaked ( thank fuck she didn't add " Jimlad" ....) and I looked helplessly at Chris not knowing just what to do
It's not often you see an old lady giving a pirate impersonation....and a good one at that
" arrhhhh arrrhhhhh" she repeated gnashing her gums at me.....and I did what any self respecting Flower Show admission steward would do in that sort of situation
I waved her through the gate.
Old pirate lady 1