Monday, 1 July 2013

dyspraxia at home

I was a clumsy child.
chris always says that I was certainly dyspraxic
but that was before anyone knew just what dyspraxia actually was
To all, I was simply a clumsy child
" cack handed" as my mother used to say

unfortunately I am also a very clumsy adult.
I fall over things very easily. I spill drinks constantly and as my t shirts will testify to,  not all of my food reaches my mouth at every dinner time.
It's not my fault.
I am not at all lax
I am not stupid
I am just naturally and at times embarrassingly clumsy.

This morning was a case in point.
7.02 am
Tesco self service till
I fell out of one of my crocs, slipped onto the floor
and dropped a large plastic bottle of diet coke,a small carton of  hummus, a hard white cabbage, and bag of pigs' ears.
I then rolled over the coke bottle like a big fat tortoise. Splitting it quite magnificently

I am reminded  of a favourite teenage cartoon

66 comments:

  1. Mondays have an uncanny way of turning even graceful people into clumsy dolts.

    I've never liked diet Coke or pigs' ears. It was no great loss.....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well my oh my you really wear crocs? Serves you right! You would be less clumsy and far more stylish in better footwear. Gill

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clumsy AND style-less
      There is no hope for me

      Delete
    2. I so agree with Gill, crocks are the worst shoes ever and super dangerous.
      I slipped out of mine at a hospital and cracked my knee so bad. The hospital had me sign a "it wasn't our fault so fast...

      cheers, parsnip

      Delete
    3. I love Crocs - I have such bad feet, and they are so comfortable.

      Delete
  3. What a delightful image to start my week! That is, if you're not hurt in any way 'cept your pride.
    love
    Els from Amsterdam

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Tesco domestic did let out a small titter

      Delete
  4. I thought cack handed meant left handed? 'Hey', says one Tesco worker to another. 'Have a look at the cctv of this old bloke falling over this morning'

    ReplyDelete
  5. I too am a very clumsy person.

    Good to know that I don't need to change myself as I grow older.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wouldn't call it 'clumsy' or 'dyspraxic'. I'd call it bad luck, sod's law or bloody Monday. Hope you didn't hurt yourself. On the strength of the hummus alone I'd probably broken at least one wrist if not three. At least the cabbage won't have come to any harm. What's with the pigs' ears? Branching out into making purses, are you?

    U

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would call it clumsy. but lovingly...

      Delete
    2. Pigs' Ears - a treat for dogs - no, really.

      Delete
  7. I'm the same, and I am always covered in bruises. Hell, I fractured my ankle once but I still don't know how to this day! Oh, and I got run over by a car once. I am a walking disaster!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mother fractured her ankle once, fell over a dog biscuit!!

      Delete
  8. Just been watching the clip on U-tube. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Me too. I was known in the family as the clumsy clot - and I get worse not better. I hope that only your clothing and your pride suffered this morning.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank heavens there were no Scotch Egg casualties :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was good....I hadn't bought one!

      Delete
  11. In ICU work, accuracy, attention to detail and non-clumsiness are surely vital characteristics to possess so how come you are able to switch off your apparent dyspraxia at work? My advice is to leave off the cooking sherry!

    ReplyDelete
  12. oh the embarrassment of it all! did anyone take photos?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I had to look up 'dyspraxia'. Sounds more impressive than 'clumsiness'. Mondays have it in it.
    PS: I wrote a post answering your comment. (I know, the sign " :-) " is here taboo - it just slipped out of my computer, tripped, and now it lays shattered all over this comment - sorry! )

    ReplyDelete
  14. I HATE MONDAYS!

    having said that, I snorted at your description of events in the last paragraph. poor tortoise! hopefully someone helped you go right side up again.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think we all have a touch of clumsiness.

    ReplyDelete
  16. That would have made a good video.

    Was that your breakfast that you dropped? Pigs ears - breakfast of champions.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I hope you're OK and that someone helped you! and that said welcome to the "clumsy club", we're usually the ones who help other members members off the floor and quietly hand a napkin when a little tomato sauce plops down someone's front. I wish I could say it goes away with age but alas it certainly hasn't in my case :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. So... did you have to pay for the coke?

    ReplyDelete
  19. How we still laugh about the time you fell down the stairs in All Bar One and went home not realising you'd not only broken your glasses, you weren't even wearing them any more! And I seem to remember there was a cracked tooth too...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...... And a lot of bruised pride as I recall

      Delete
    2. Well you sent me to get the glasses!!!

      Delete
    3. Well you sent me to get the glasses!!!

      Delete
  20. Clumsy as a child and now clumsy as an old lady, I am completing the cycle of life. You know you are in good company, John.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Next time skip the coke and the pig ears! Please!

    I know the falling over part well; that stroke stripped away my balance. Instead of crumpling I now go down like a felled tree. Must be quite the sight.

    ReplyDelete
  22. "Fifty one year old freestyle break dancer in Tesco,tells the DM that he has always yearned to be in a flashmob".
    Jane x

    ReplyDelete

  23. Ever tried giving up on yer daily doses Aspartame (diet coke) it is worse than giving up smoking!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Another clumsy person here. I have a range of "moments where I'm not as clumsy" to "moments where I'm clumsy indeed."

    As you say, it's not for lack of trying, i just seem to fumble more often than the average person.

    ReplyDelete
  25. You have this superb knack of brightening up my day and making me laugh when it all seems to be going downhill fast. For a few minutes I just forgot about my hefty vet bill I need to pay as I had a vision of you floundering on the floor in Tesco drenched in Coke. Keep it up old boy :o)

    ReplyDelete
  26. The whole idea of your falling is overshadowed for me by the bag of pigs'ears - are there really such things (I don't mean the said ears but bags of them?)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Weaver, i've seen bags of them. Himself and i would get them from time to time for the dogs who loved on the corner.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I hate when people laugh at other's misfortunes. Oh no, I just laughed at you.

    I hate myself.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Pigs' ears?!!! John, have you been traveling in the US Deep South and didn't tell us?? I cannot imagine what they are doing across the pond. And no, I've never tried them - yeck! Thanks for the smile today, but dang you for reminding me of what my father used to say to me when I tripped - "One foot got in the way of the other two?!"

    Nancy in Iowa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nancy
      Lol
      The pigs ears are dried and a treat for the dogs!

      Delete
    2. I wrote almost the same thing above, before I saw your reply here.....spooky!

      Delete
    3. Now, now... fried pig ears are a staple of the classic Puerto Rican cuchifritos. I, myself, prefer the blood sausage morcilla, but the orejas aren't bad.

      Delete
  30. A blind rooster and now a pig without ears?

    ReplyDelete
  31. I am trying to figure out what recipe called for that combination of ingredients, pretty sure there was a similar list of ingredients in a recipe I saw on the Weightwitchers website when I was a fully paid up pile of weight related neuroses! Seriously, hope you are ok (apart from dented pride which we are used to by now!) Hugs x

    ReplyDelete
  32. You sound as talented as I am. I have some very creative accidents and injuries.

    I know the Coke is not but are you okay??

    ReplyDelete
  33. Sounds like me John, not an ounce of grace in my body! I can walk along and trip OVER NOTHING. heehee.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh, John. *hugs* At least you trip over something.
    I am like Jennifer. I can trip over nothing!

    Hope your day has gotten better, John. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh dear - you don't do things by halves do you?!

    ReplyDelete
  36. I'm a clumsy bastard married to a clumsy bastard. You don't know you're born....

    ReplyDelete
  37. What were the shopping basket contents for John? Some weird Weight Watchers trifle?

    LLX

    ReplyDelete
  38. I live with Dyspraxics ... and lovers of Garfield x

    ReplyDelete
  39. This morning, I made myself my cuppa with the last of the milk (kettle was never off the boil yesterday with folk to-ing and fro-ing but none of them brought their own milk!), laid my cup on the floor while I leaned over to switch the telly on and promptly kicked the cup, releasing it of my precious first brew of the day! I had to put single cream in the next one.....yuk!

    ReplyDelete
  40. ps are you going to do a Weightwatcher's Diary kind of thing?Also, what's your start weight?

    ReplyDelete
  41. I'm with you and Carol: I love my crocs. I hope you didn't injure yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  42. I'm reading this in bed and laughed so hard I had to get up and have a cough.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I had to look up dyspraxia. Duh, me.

    ReplyDelete
  44. This does not sound like more fun than a barrel of monkeys. My sympathies to you.

    Also, nothing good ever comes of being up and around at that ungodly hour. Just saying.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Your Tesco's sells pig's ears?

    ReplyDelete
  46. Our Tesco doesn't sell pig's ears we have to go to the farm supply shop for them, although when we had pigs we did our own, well Lovely Hubby dealt with them, it's the only time I've actually cried when the animals have been consuming meat, I recognised the ear the collie was eating!!

    We wear Crocs all the time in the house and around the farm (when not in wellies) and up to now (touches a BIG block of wood) my Lovely Hubby has not had an accident in them, he has had just about every other kind of accident but not a Croc related one!

    He too is totally accident prone and clumsy, he misses his mouth more than a baby and as for putting down a cup I usually have to move the table nearer to catch it.

    ReplyDelete
  47. "cack handed" usually just means left handed down this way.
    My other half who is a "cacky hander" is also terribly clutzy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Al
      Cack handed also means clumsy

      Delete
  48. I've laughed so much at this post and the comments. I can just imagine you rolling about on the coke bottle!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x