So sorry you lost your little hen. In re: to the book, sweet Jesus are you kidding???? We ALL would read it and you could give a scotch egg away with every copy. Or get paid in scotch eggs. Hmmm...
An outline of several smashed eggs would also memorialize the missed economic benefits. What the hell, add a few cute fuzzy chicks she won't be hatching out. Nobody can not feel bad about messing with fuzzy yellow chicks.
I like it...but maybe in DAY GLO orange...whoops I'm back to thinking dire thoughts...one just doesn't go around running over chickens and just leaving them in the road...nuff said!!!
Actually, that reminds me of a state park where you followed the outlines of the different birds painted on the road to get to the tourist information center...
Hahaha - John, I always think we bloggers make our life so very - interesting/hilarious/intensive - see you drawing with chalk, securing the place of the crime! When I had posted my comment to your comment this morning, half an hour later I thought: "Gosh! 'Had-I-but-known' " would have been better (I work on tv-crime-series at the moment). So: I'll send Rosemary&Thyme over to solve your case (if they can't, they'll give nice spices to your poor chicken).
I'd be inclined to stick a poster up saying "Chicken Murderer - you were seen by loyal friends and customers. You will be hunted down and canine vomit placed between car upholstery and your Bodened arse."
We have suicidal squirrels round these parts. I always close my eyes when they do that ... shall I go this way or that way mularkey. Though I can't recommend this behaviour at 30 mph... just can't help it! The worse bit is waiting for the bdmp.. bdmp.... But it hasn't happened yet. I don't close my eyes at any other time when I'm driving, just to reassure other drivers in the East Lancashire area.. and don't use my mobile phone as I haven't a clue how the bl**dy thing works anyway. Sorry about your chicken, it's always the best ones that go.
This looks like a scene from CSI: Barnyard, all we need now is a slightly "goth" girl with bangs peering intently through an electron scanning microscope to figure out the exact make and model of 4x4.
Sorry about your poor chook, John. The chalk outline is a great idea, I hope the perpetrator of this fowl deed (sorry) sees it and is guilt-stricken.
BTW, I was browsing the Guardian's food section and came across a recipe for Vegetarian Scotch eggs! ! What a travesty! A Scotch egg is not a Scotch egg if it has no meat. http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/apr/24/felicity-cloake-veggie-scotch-egg-recipe
No, it's disgusting when you are given a Scotch Egg with Black Pudding in it. I loathe black pudding, it's made with barley which makes me violently ill, with alarming speed! I suppose that's the extreme opposite of a vegetarian scotch egg?
If there was a chalk outline for every smashed animal on the highway from my house to the nearest town (23 miles away), it would be such wall-to-wall drawings that the whole road from here to there would be white with chalk. It would break your heart.
Fowlocide is an awful crime perpetrated by mostly distracted idiots slurping coffee, putting on make-up, reading a map, changing the CD, etc.. The driver clearly feel it is a victimless crime. If only they could see how it emotionally devastated you to find your best layer squished in the middle of the road & later as you set her ravaged feathered body upon the cremation bon fire, they might have to admit there are indeed victims. RIP John's fine layer. I hope the chalk drawing will elicit some remorse from your killer & make them accountable for their actions. The drawing looks like a sea gull to me, but maybe the killer will get the drift. They should have apologized and paid for the replacement of your layer - the bastards.
So John, I'm pretty sure if a CSI show was to film this piece about your bird, you'd definitely choose that Aussie, Crowe as the lead. His name does fit a bird plot. However, if you had to choose a lead from past or present CSI's airing, which would be your pick? William Petersen. Ted Danson. Laurence Fishburne. Gary Sinise or that red-headed bastard, David Caruso. Or another which I have failed to remember?
I'm sorry for the loss of your chook John, but I do love the chalk outline! CT x
ReplyDeleteA little splash of ketchup blood would add some zing to it.
ReplyDeleteMy neighbours already suggested it
DeleteLet's hope the 'hit and runner' will be guilted into owning up.
ReplyDeleteJane x
Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteIt is fun and innovative. Is that a worm in her beak?
ReplyDeleteOh course KK
DeleteIt adds a touch of authenticity
Sorry about the loss of your hen but that outline idea is priceless!
ReplyDeleteYou should write a book John ;-)
Who would read it?
DeleteSo sorry you lost your little hen. In re: to the book, sweet Jesus are you kidding???? We ALL would read it and you could give a scotch egg away with every copy. Or get paid in scotch eggs. Hmmm...
DeleteFifi.....most kind of you..... I will sign my first book and dedicate it to you ...... A lover of scotch eggs!
DeleteWhy did the chicken cross the road? The 4 x 4 driver probably has no idea she's killed your prize layer, due to the fact she was texting at the time.
ReplyDeleteLLX
The 2nd chicken crossing the road comment
DeleteLol
An outline of several smashed eggs would also memorialize the missed economic benefits. What the hell, add a few cute fuzzy chicks she won't be hatching out. Nobody can not feel bad about messing with fuzzy yellow chicks.
ReplyDeleteI hope the perpetrator is hanging his/her head in shame - and can't sleep tonight!
ReplyDeleteI doubt that ray
DeleteWell they jolly well ought to be!
DeleteWonderful idea!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI like it...but maybe in DAY GLO orange...whoops I'm back to thinking dire thoughts...one just doesn't go around running over chickens and just leaving them in the road...nuff said!!!
ReplyDeleteActually, that reminds me of a state park where you followed the outlines of the different birds painted on the road to get to the tourist information center...
ReplyDeletejust sayin'...
xx
Hahaha - John, I always think we bloggers make our life so very - interesting/hilarious/intensive - see you drawing with chalk, securing the place of the crime!
ReplyDeleteWhen I had posted my comment to your comment this morning, half an hour later I thought: "Gosh! 'Had-I-but-known' " would have been better (I work on tv-crime-series at the moment). So: I'll send Rosemary&Thyme over to solve your case (if they can't, they'll give nice spices to your poor chicken).
I think bloggers reflect a lot
DeleteWe have signs up here in the Dales saying "Tek care,
ReplyDeletelambs on't road" - couldn't you provide a Welshified sign for your road along the same lines.
Chicken now on't bonfire
DeleteNice idea, but it looks as though it is flying, so a driver might duck down and still not see the chicken in the road....
ReplyDeleteThere is NO WAY I'm reading your previous post. I'm still in mourning over baby bird that fell out of nest. It ruins my day.
ReplyDeleteSuperb!!
ReplyDeleteI'd be inclined to stick a poster up saying "Chicken Murderer - you were seen by loyal friends and customers. You will be hunted down and canine vomit placed between car upholstery and your Bodened arse."
ReplyDeleteRevenge will be served ....cold
DeleteHa ha! Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThere seems to be a rash of speeding school moms causing havoc all over the globe.
ReplyDeleteIn cars that are too big for them!.?
DeleteWe have suicidal squirrels round these parts. I always close my eyes when they do that ... shall I go this way or that way mularkey. Though I can't recommend this behaviour at 30 mph... just can't help it! The worse bit is waiting for the bdmp.. bdmp.... But it hasn't happened yet. I don't close my eyes at any other time when I'm driving, just to reassure other drivers in the East Lancashire area.. and don't use my mobile phone as I haven't a clue how the bl**dy thing works anyway. Sorry about your chicken, it's always the best ones that go.
ReplyDeleteI do that close the eyes thing when anything runs out in front of me...... Not good eh?
Deletebdmp... bdmp... that's an universal sound...
DeleteEls from Amsterdam
I hope you are going to put flowers at the side of the road to reinforce the message!
ReplyDeleteAnd a symbolic cracked egg
DeleteThis looks like a scene from CSI: Barnyard, all we need now is a slightly "goth" girl with bangs peering intently through an electron scanning microscope to figure out the exact make and model of 4x4.
ReplyDeleteRIP, silly chicken.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your poor chook, John. The chalk outline is a great idea, I hope the perpetrator of this fowl deed (sorry) sees it and is guilt-stricken.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I was browsing the Guardian's food section and came across a recipe for Vegetarian Scotch eggs! ! What a travesty! A Scotch egg is not a Scotch egg if it has no meat.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/apr/24/felicity-cloake-veggie-scotch-egg-recipe
Disgusting
DeleteNo, it's disgusting when you are given a Scotch Egg with Black Pudding in it. I loathe black pudding, it's made with barley which makes me violently ill, with alarming speed! I suppose that's the extreme opposite of a vegetarian scotch egg?
DeleteNow, now, let's not be hasty! A few years back, I had a falafel-crusted egg at a hole-in-the-wall Middle Eastern place in Manhattan. It was delicious.
DeleteHope it shames someone enough to at least apologize.
ReplyDeleteHave a better weekend, John. ♥
I'll never understand why someone can leave the scene of a crime ...
ReplyDeleteWhere's Ted Danson?
ReplyDeleteDid I just tune in to CSI ??
ReplyDeleteC. (chicken) S. (smushed) I. (inward)
DeleteIf there was a chalk outline for every smashed animal on the highway from my house to the nearest town (23 miles away), it would be such wall-to-wall drawings that the whole road from here to there would be white with chalk. It would break your heart.
ReplyDeleteSilly me -- I slow down for butterflies and bees.
I saw a pigeon run over by a bus last year. I would have run out of chalk...
ReplyDeleteFowlocide is an awful crime perpetrated by mostly distracted idiots slurping coffee, putting on make-up, reading a map, changing the CD, etc.. The driver clearly feel it is a victimless crime. If only they could see how it emotionally devastated you to find your best layer squished in the middle of the road & later as you set her ravaged feathered body upon the cremation bon fire, they might have to admit there are indeed victims.
ReplyDeleteRIP John's fine layer. I hope the chalk drawing will elicit some remorse from your killer & make them accountable for their actions. The drawing looks like a sea gull to me, but maybe the killer will get the drift. They should have apologized and paid for the replacement of your layer - the bastards.
It does look like a seagull..... ( my drawing is piss poor..apologies)
DeleteSo John, I'm pretty sure if a CSI show was to film this piece about your bird, you'd definitely choose that Aussie, Crowe as the lead. His name does fit a bird plot. However, if you had to choose a lead from past or present CSI's airing, which would be your pick? William Petersen. Ted Danson. Laurence Fishburne. Gary Sinise or that red-headed bastard, David Caruso. Or another which I have failed to remember?
ReplyDeleteRuss has already been signed up...Gary " chicken beak" sinise is being difficult
Delete