Monday, 25 March 2013

7 words




I was nursing two patients last night
One was conscious
One was not.
The awake patient  who was 'sporting a broad Lancashire accent stopped me in my tracks when I first walked up to her to introduce myself.
" You're a lad who likes his grub"
She dead panned
Succinct and to the point 
Northern Women
Economical and unbeatable 

70 comments:

  1. I'm not familiar with the accent, however, I like people who don't mince words and tell it like it is.

    Hope there were no probs getting to work!

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    1. Main roads are fine, but the country lanes are all still blocked x

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  2. The bits of scotch egg on the front of your uniform may have a been a giveaway.
    Jane x

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  3. Reminds me of my long since and sadly departed Great Aunt Alice who lived in Rainford. On the rare occasions we visitied, ignoring my seething German mother, she would say to my father, 'Frank, honestly, you really aren't looking after these boys of yours, I've seen more meat on a butcher's pencil'

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    1. That's my kind of woman

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  4. Love it.
    I remember hearing Jimmy Tarbuck telling a tale about a lady Mayor up north giving a presentation on stage. As she turned round to pick something up she let out a loud fart in the direction of the microphone and the sound travelled around the theatre. She turned back to the mic and said 'Ooh 'ark at me!'. Brilliant.

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    1. I love jimmy tarbuck.....but absolutely adore his daughter lisa

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  5. I pride myself in being one of those Northern Lancashire lassies, and nawt wrong wi' a bit of Billy Bunter either :)
    ~Jo

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  6. My friend who was an auxiliary nurse many moons ago and who is rather on the large side told me a story that had happened to her on the ward. Apparently a patient who thought he was being rather clever quipped to the others about the amount of larger nurses on the ward and how they all preached about the benefits of being healthy but were all overweight...to which my friend replied 'I don't have to be a size 10 to wipe your arse love' which I think rather floored him.
    Jo xx

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  7. I thought maybe you were going to say that she was unconscious right after saying that...

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  8. My mother lost her filter after her stroke. Now if I know she will be seeing someone with a big bum, wart on their nose or whatever, I will remind her not to point it out. For some reason her normal speaking voice leaves her on these occasions and she finds a louder, clear voice.

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    1. Another woman I would have liked

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  9. At least she didn't congratulate you on being pregnant...

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  10. No mention of your reply, I see. Might it have been to do with faces and buses?

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    1. I didn't reply..I was too busy plotting my revenge

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  11. Working within the NHS and with the general public, I have been on the receiving end of many a similar remark. When I announced my impending retirement to one of my "regulars" of thirty years the other day he said he didn't think I looked old enought to retire. I was dead chuffed until he said "you just look a bit fatter".

    I'm not always sure how to take it. Rudeness can easily be disguised as a simple lack of tact but if I was just as rude back I could be disciplined. It pays to always see the funny side but it wears a bit thin at times.

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    1. It wears thin when you are tired jean x

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  12. hi...i just found your blog and signed on to follow and added you to my sidebar! i know i am going to love your blog!

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    1. Welcome jaz
      I hope you do love it..... I am brittle enough to love tat remark x

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  13. Photo of Gerald Campion as Billy Bunter. That really does take me back. Great memories of very funny programme.

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    1. He always frightened me

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  14. There's a line not to be crossed between humour & rudeness - it's just knowing where to draw the line !

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  15. When I saw that photo of Billy Bunter, it fair put the willies up me! I don't know why but when I was a kid he used to scare me.

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  16. I am new to reading your blog and love it.Im from the north east but now live in somerset and work for the nhs as a staff nurse.My way with words does seem to get me in matrons office on a regular basis, cant think why, thesa southeners just dont get it ! Daisy

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    1. Another newbie....... Welcome
      Love the name

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  17. Call a spade a spade always been my motto, at least folk know where they stand. I can't begin to tell you the trouble it's got me into over the years.

    LLx

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  18. Ooh, I wonder what she might say about me!

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  19. Ahhhhh, Billy Bunter ........ That takes me back.
    .......... and,your patient has obviously seen you in the sluice room, munching on scotch eggs ! XXXX

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  20. could of been the scotch egg smear on your smock...

    open book - my kind of gal!

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    1. Smock.? I know wears in Wales...... But smocks indeed x

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  21. Fantastic, if a little bruising for the ego!

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  22. Is that a positive hint Joohn that your diet has gone the way of all flesh?

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  23. Sorry about mis-spelling your name - I do know how to spell John!

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  24. Was that the conscious one or the other?

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  25. Well...you gotta admire her honesty...right?

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  26. LOL! Obviously she'd long ago failed basic tact lessons!

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  27. I always said it, you'd end up Scotch egg shaped.
    Bitch/sod/cow delete as appropriate. J xxxx

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  28. I love it how the elderly just don't give a damn any more about hurting feelings! And why should they? She and my Dad would make a good pair!!

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  29. Well, it better than having "hey, fat one in white" shouted at you across a 4-bed ward.

    Honestly, I can be blunt, but why is it patients can open their mouths and say whatever they want and we're expected to take it?

    I did have one manager who after hearing what a patient said to me, went and had him discharged with homecare to do his dressings. He overheard one of my co-workers asking when the spousal unit was returning from Khandahar. The patient gave me a five minute lecture on why we shouldn't be over there and that every serviceman deserved to die. Yup, a real prince.

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    1. Been there worn the t shirt x

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  30. I'm sure that she simply had double vision. It could not have been any other way.

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  31. It sorts or reminds me of 'bed pan humour'. Certainly to the point. That rather looks like the original "Harry Potter" aka "Billy Bunter".

    Pawsitive wishes,

    Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

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  32. HA! She sounds like my kinda gal. No beating around the bush for her!

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  33. Grub? Do you eat caterpillar and larvae too? Or was the aged patient suggesting you were plump? Damnable lies!

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  34. Excellent story, thank you.

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  35. Just think yourself lucky you weren't nursing my 91 year old mum who carries on a running stream of thought conversation with herself almost continuously. Being a bit deaf the conversation is usually quite loud!

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  36. Loud smiles - though Billy Bunter always scared me - not sure why.

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  37. honesty, nothing to be ashamed about, another Northern Girl here!!

    Gill in Canada

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  38. Reminds me of an old Mike Harding joke. He had plucked up courage to ask a girl to dance, but didn't know what to do next. His mate whispered to him - say something nice to her. He nuzzled her ear and said 'Eeeh, you don't sweat much for a fat lass'

    What is a compliment to one person can be an insult to another!

    And, really, thin men? Nahhhh, I don't think so.

    Janet

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  39. My mother-in-law was talking about someone who had recently gained a lot of weight. She looked at me and said, "You think YOU'RE fat, you should see so-and-so!"

    I actually wasn't thinking, at that moment, that I was fat, but she certainly brought me round to the topic.

    I pasted a thin smile on my face then excused myself and went to the bathroom and cried.

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