Monday, 25 February 2013

Shut Up!

I called up to the vets today very early.
I had to drop Chris off at the train not long after 6 am
There was no point going back to bed for a half hour sleep or so.
Anyhow I called up to pick up some antibiotics for Stanley. I thought I would give his a course just to make sure I have done everything I could for the old guy and they are pretty good at trusting me when I need to diagnose and treat the animals myself....so generally I save a packet.
George Clooney was on duty and just so happened to be behind the counter when I was paying for the drugs and in his seductive, film star voice, he gave me a suave " hello there" in passing
I blushed heavily, straightened my new woolly hat ( which Chris described as a maroon tea cosy) and  looking like a teenage schoolgirl I squeaked my own, slightly strangled...
"Hello"
Mr Clooney nodded then added like the excellent vet he is " how's your Scottie...did his stomach settle down?"
IT was an absolute age since I  brought George in with a bout of enteritis, so I was impressed with his memory....and I turned all smiley and giggly on myself, as the hero worship kicked in big style.
I could have kicked myself

Is this a normal sort of  reaction to a pretty face?
Does everyone who normally can act and sound like a perfectly reasonable adult in mainstream day to day existence evolve into a vacuous brain dead bubble head when a pair of baby blue ' Daniel Crag ' eyes are flashed in their general direction?
I was smiling at Vet Clooney so much, the girl behind the counter started to look a little uncomfortable,, and I am sure she rolled her eyes just a little when I squeaked up again
" He's fine but he does have bad breath"
BAD BREATH? BAD BREATH! what the hell are you thinking of? Stop babbling I said to myself.... But on I marched...sharing every detail of just how smelly George's breath can be as Mr Clooney and the receptionist stood there bored shitless
I only stopped babbling when I realised I had turned into the worst cougar impersonator EVER !

And knowing I had made a tit of myself I finally asked lamely
" do you sell doggy toothbrushes?"
" I will go and check" the receptionist said with a thin smile.



34 comments:

  1. Don't worry John, my son'as tutor at college caught me staring at his crutch on parents evening, needless to say my son has now banned me from any more parents evenings!
    Jo xx

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  2. Thank you, I desperately needed that laugh. Yes even at 50 I still turn into a moron when a pretty face (male) is around, oooh young man!
    I used to fancy my window cleaner (visions of the 70s films spring to mind) shame I can now longer afford clean windows sigh.
    Susan x
    PS My doggy's breath could strip paint!!

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    1. Can I dunk my shammy lady?

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  3. Ha ! I am sooo happy not to be the only babbler when a case of nervousness strikes me down in my tracks. xx

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    1. I hope you will write a blog about it!

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  4. oh honey, it just proves ya still got life in ya! just don't tell chris!

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  5. oh yes... we ALL have these infantile moments.. they keep us young... i'm currently in love with the receptionist at the gym and the guy that serves me coffee at a certain coffee shop in town... oh the joys of ageing disgracefully!

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    1. It does us all good to look..... Does it not?

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  6. There is a professor in the forestry department at a large university here that we do research for work with and HE also looks like a George Clooney doppelgänger. He is hard not to stare at....I feel sorry for his wife!

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    1. Aw shucks he's married!

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  7. Hysterical !! You are so funny John.

    Lorraine

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  8. Oh Dear! So now I guess he looks upon you as a simpering gay Bennie look alike who kisses his dogs?

    Never mind, John, I have recovered from worse!

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  9. Does Chris benefit from these vet "Clooney" visits?

    If it helps, I would have probably done the same thing and I am 58!

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  10. Find me a Sean Connery looking fellow and I can go all wobbly too! And any remarks I make about said fellow make my grandkids get wide eyed and gag a lot....love it!

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  11. I tend to get aloof..instead of simpering and sweet, I appear to be a snotty bitch!

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  12. Did you giggle? I find I babble and giggle just so everybody can know what a silly fool I am. Can't help myself. As the saying goes, I might be old, but I ain't dead.

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    1. I did a lot of giggling x

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  13. We've all been there, in my case at a previous dentist; not the best place to be simpering with your mouth stretched into hideous contortions. At least Clooney remembered you.....he certainly will now!

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  14. But oooo, won't your dogs now have the freshest breath in town?

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  15. "maroon tea cozy" LOL

    the only time I would ever get all giggly inside is if a handsome gent who looks like Antonio Banderas speaks to me like Antonio Banderas - which hasnt happened yet. Crap, I even paid money to see that kid's Puss n Boots movie to hear that cat talk...and the movie "princess bride?" Manady Patinkin's Inigo Montoya does it for me too...see what a blushing tart I am? Im blushing right now thinking about it! No wonder in Spain the women wear Mantillas! Wheres my mantilla???

    Otherwise its latin; when Mr Foresterman speaks latin to me in the woods, i get all swoony...hard to do if you got logger boots on and about 20 lbs of equipment...but I do!

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    1. I am a sucker for a Spanish accent too!

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  16. Pbbbt, I think we all turn into babbling adolescents when faced with someone we consider to be a hottie... and it ratchets up a notch if he smiles and remembers our name.

    I haven't seen them for some time, but we used to give our nasty-breathed dog mint-flavored dog treats. He loved them, and it reeeelly helped. He had minty fresh breath after that.

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  17. Oh completely. I own a shop so I can't even avoid them! Recently a man SWEPT into the store - leather jacket, Raybans, and every woman turned to look. He was giving off some kind of subsonic signal to every uterus, I swear. Turned out he was an Italian fireman (this is in New Zealand,mind) and actually, he didn't do it for me, once the initial glamour wore off. The very same weekend however, Tall, Dark and Handsome came in to buy a shorts pattern to make shorts for his Dad!! He was asking for vliesofix, but when questioned further, realised he meant Vilene. "Oh yeah," says he, "I use vliesofix for doing applique". Of COURSE! I was a simpering wreck by this stage, as gorgeous young men who sew for their parents and do applique and are very blokey are a rare breed in any land. So, what did I say? "I wish I had a son like you". Cos of course that is EXACTLY what I was thinking. A tragic attempt to restore middle aged dignity, probably a fail ;-)

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  18. Haha.

    *hugs* ♥ ;-)

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  19. Um, yes, i have also blushed and giggled nonsensically. Or, as with that great looking man i saw that time in the fast food place, i simply freeze and am completely useless.

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  20. I am a blushing, giggling, simpering mess. Very sad really.

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  21. You should be so lucky; We've got an ageing Harriet Harman at ours!

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  22. I would have killed to be a fly on the wall. LOLOL

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  23. So the enthiritis is going, but you're suffering from verbal diahorrea?

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  24. My husband's always being told he looks like Daniel Craig- fine for me, not fine for our teenage daughter when it's her friends telling her this!! CTx

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