Friday, 8 February 2013

" Get'im"


George willing the hens to run for it
We have two postmen in the village that tend to work opposite to each other. One is a round faced postie who likes his grub and another is a round faced postie that likes his dogs. Both are cheerful kinds of souls that have learnt over the years not to stick their fingers through our letter box.
They know jolly well that the dogs enjoy a brief game of tug of war with the post.It's a little constant that brightens up their day.
Yesterday, I wasn't firing on one cylinder let alone all of them, and so I forgot to shut the back door when I was catching up with some serious nose blowing and spluttering The dogs had spotted my mistake and knowing jolly well that the postie was due, they all laid in wait for him to arrive.
The first thing I really knew what was going on was when I heard the 'clink' of the garden gate. The Postman , seeing the open door had just reached out to lay the letters on the floor when the dogs woofed a collective and very excited  ' GET HIM!' Woof.
Of course it was all done in jest, but  he was not privy to the rules of the game, and as I rushed into the kitchen ,the postie was legging it down the path with the  pack of terriers  baying joyfully at his heels.
It was a round faced postman that liked dogs that was on duty....and I can honestly say that I have never seen such a big man move so fast before in my life!
He reached the second gate within three seconds and slammed it shut behind him after he shot through it like a rat up a drainpipe. He then did what all men do when they feel slightly embarrassed, he laughed , went all nonchalant like and said " I'm not frightened of them, I know they wouldn't hurt me"
The dogs were all milling around,jumping up for a head rub by that time and I tried to help in save face a bit by saying that no one should take a chance with a dog that they didn't know.
" I'll have to put this all down on my risk assessment form" the postman said cheerfully when he got his breath back
" do you know I have to make a risk assessment out about every dog at every house on my round from next week ?" He added

" you may be a busy man" I told him


40 comments:

  1. When I was 10 and delivered newspapers there was one house that had a great dane. It used to terrify me with its huge lumbering running, I think it was bigger than me and would grab the paper from my hand. It was a constant daily 'dare' on my part.

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  2. I have a singing postman, I don't need to hear the letterbox go when I have post. I can hear him singing his way down the garden path.

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  3. Whoops! John, hope you're feeling a bit better today,

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  4. It must be bloody awful to be a postman in the country.

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  5. Are your postmen still wearing shorts John ? Ours are and, it's FREEZING and makes life even more perilous when dealing with mischevious dogs. XXXX

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    1. Here in Bath, I know a postman who wins a sweepstake every year by being the only one to keep his shorts on ALL winter. He boosts his income by about £100 every year - the hardy bastard.

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    2. Didn't I read that the PO are banning their posties from wearing shorts? Heath and Safety. A postie fell on the ice and grazed his knee. Obviously a death trap out there.

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    3. Jac.....long pants only I am afraid x

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  6. Yes we have been risk assessed & Dillon deemed " Agressive " !!!

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  7. My son's s post man and regularly gets chased back to the safety of his van by dogs - he's taken to keeping some dog biscuits in his pocket to throw in hopes that the dogs will prefer a treat rather than his legs - the posties still wearing shorts through the winter do it for charity x

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  8. Must be a very boring risk assessment register - "dog, dogs, dog, sprung letterbox, dogs, dog...."

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  9. I love that photo, it could easily be one of my dogs, watching intently with mouth watering!

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  10. Hi John, I think dog's think that the post man or woman must be a really terrible person because they are only allowed to post letters through the letterbox - we never allow them into the house. So they naturally decide to protect us and our property. My Jack Russell always chases the post van (countryside) but nobody else.

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    1. An excellent way of looking at the psychology of it all

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  11. at least you get mail delivered to the door, that can be a rare thing in Canada especially in the city where they have all the community mail boxes.

    Gill

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  12. We've just had to change the sign on the gate from 'Beware of the Dog' to 'Beware of the Pheasant'...

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    1. Ahhhhh male hormones me thinks Jess?

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  13. Helen Devries12:51 pm

    Our postman rings from the top of the road so that I can shut the Alsatian in.
    This follows said Alsatian tearing a tyre from his motorbike.

    Risk assessment round here would be good.....
    Holiday home, long grass, venomous snakes
    American owned home, owner playing with guns in the garden
    Locally owned home, high risk of being nibbled to death by pack of small dogs

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    1. Sounds like something ou of THE WALKING DEAD

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  14. We live in a remote area, our mail carrier is more likely to come across a bear than a dog.
    Jane x

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    1. Does he have a shit in the woods?

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  15. Ah, the joys of delivering the mail. That and doing it in all weathers, carting huge bags of mail, fending off loquacious widows, trudging up steep hills....

    Not a job I'd fancy doing myself.

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  16. In my town a dog-loving mailman is an oxymoron.

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  17. Great photo John. Sad you didn’t get footage of the postie's retreat that would be a great film.

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  18. What is it about post men and dogs.....

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  19. I think it makes the dogs angry that the mail carrier keeps coming back, even though the loyal dog has chased him/her away.

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  20. Too funny. A team member's Dad dropped my 8yr old son off at our house after a basketball game. I wasn't home so the dog figured she was in charge. She saw a strange man looming over the child and promptly chased him off the property giving him a nip on the backside for good measure. I was mortified and phoned the wife to apologise. She said not to worry. "Our dog doesn't like him either."

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  21. Love the story.... but I adore the photo of George. you can just feel the waves of excitement "run you chickens run" !

    cheers, parsnip

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  22. I would assess your dogs as the spokes and postie as the hub.

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  23. Love to read your stories!

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    1. You write your own wonderfully

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  24. Having delivered mail for years, I can appreciate this story.

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    1. At least my lot was only having fun

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  25. People might giggle but I have a huge amount of sympathy for postmen - many of whom have been attacked by dogs. Some postal workers have been hospitalised and some have lost fingers etc. as well as their confidence. It is not a laughing matter and in my view guilty dog owners should be clamped in the village stocks and pelted with rotten fruit and eggs. Do they have stocks in Trelawnyd?

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    1. Hazards of the job YP, hazards of the job

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  26. He should just carry some premium puppy pastries in his pocket and then all the dogs will love him.

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  27. I don't blame him for running. I was bitten twice by dogs when i showed no fear.

    Our second dog never liked anybody in a uniform. Even if it were someone she knew well, she'd look askance if they wore a uniform. Although our postman was a lovely, gentle man, she'd bark and bark as if he were a robber. So would all the other dogs in our neighbourhood.

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    1. Yes I was once bitten badly on the arse by a Russian terrier in similar circumstances

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  28. Our postie knows that our dogs are behind a 6ft fence. mind you, the gas man still wouldn't come in!

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