I have just re read my latest ( and now deleted ) post detailing a tea bag incident in the Jacob's Ladder cafe this morning.
Apart from the phase "I like my coffee as strong as Montserrat Cabelle's knicker elastic" which I thought was a particulary delightful line,
The whole thing was as interesting as thrush.
Gawd, I need to stop writing shit
Apart from the phase "I like my coffee as strong as Montserrat Cabelle's knicker elastic" which I thought was a particulary delightful line,
The whole thing was as interesting as thrush.
Gawd, I need to stop writing shit
I have it on good authority that the diva goes commando anyway!
ReplyDeletePerish the thought!
DeletePerish the elastic.
DeleteWell I liked it!
ReplyDeleteWTF, John! I thought it was hilarious!!! Put it back up, man! I think you are your harshest critic... everyone else around here loves you. And I think the idea of you accidentally flinging a tea bag at someone else's table is FUNNY, FUNNY, FUNNY! It reminds me of the time I kept screwing up ordering coffee at a drive-thru. No matter how hard I tried, I embarrassed myself. I love stories like that! Bring 'em on!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI always like posts explaining why you couldn't post....
ReplyDeleteThe coffee in Starbucks usually TASTES like knicker elastic. And it's about as strong as a cream cracker.
You don't have Miss Perkins' phone number by any chance?
Dear John,
ReplyDeleteYou are trying too hard, be yourself and just go with it. For Gawd's sake don't think about it!
You are more interesting... just being you.
You DID ask...
ReplyDeleteNot having read it John, I'll take your word for it that it was shit!
ReplyDeleteI did like the 'bored secretary's' line though!!
hey, one can't be prefect all the time!!
Why worry? I read everything you blog about and it always makes me smile or pee my pants with heart stopping guffaws of laughter.
ReplyDeleteMy rant/blog yesterday didn't get many views but I got stuff off my chest - it's a form of therapy and a damn sight cheaper :)
It cheered up my morning no end. You're definitely being too hard on yourself. I was even considering reading it again after this post but it wasn't to be....x
ReplyDeleteFor those of us who didn't see your original post and are now being offered this frustrating tease, you get a QI score of +3 - which, as you know, is pretty darned good!
ReplyDeleteWhy on earth would I do that Steve?
ReplyDeleteI'm very shallow. A tea bag incident sounds right up my street whereas a quick google for the plot of 'Life of Pi' makes me want to hit myself over the head with a tin tray. Don't overestimate you audience..... :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm with Raybeard. But I will have to deduct 2 points. Being left hanging like this is just no way to start the day.
ReplyDeleteOh please put the post back up, I still have some of it on my blog list. Accidentally flinging a teabag? What fun.
ReplyDeleteThe first para of tea bagging still exists in my reader...so I've been left in suspense...
ReplyDeleteIt made me laugh . . . And that's not so easy x
ReplyDeleteSee, John, the thing is, you have such a great way of sharing everyday stuff. You often bring a smile to the faces of your readers.
ReplyDeleteI only got what little bit is in the blogger history, but I'm sure, based on what I've seen here, it would have been a great post!
Hope your day is going well, John! ♥
You had me at "tea bagging."
ReplyDeleteDon't you realize you have such a loyal following precisely because you make everyday, boring life so fascinating with your turns of phrase? Plus, we 'Murkins enjoy seeing the little cultural differences you don't even think about in day-to-day life.
Honestly, John, if I didn't know you better, I'd think you were a pre-teen girl fishing for compliments. Hmph.
Please put it back up - it made me laugh!
ReplyDeleteMontserrat.....what a woman. Keep wittering John......
ReplyDeleteAw no! I missed it. I was just about to read "Tea bagging" when I saw this post. I clicked on your previous post and you'd already deleted it. Your posts are SO interesting John, I'm sorry I missed this one ! Hope you are going to put it up again. Jo
ReplyDeleteTea-bagging? And you deleted it? Your shit posts are better than my best. Put it back!
ReplyDeleteYou? Not interesting? I doubt that.
ReplyDeleteAs N.B. said, i too saw just enough to want to read more, but alas, it's not to be.
ReplyDeleteJohn I thought your tea-bagging post was hilarious! I always find the phrase Julia Roberts uses in Pretty Woman the best one for these situations...'slippery little suckers aren't they?'
ReplyDeleteI understand Trelawnyd has an annual teabag-flinging contest, won last year by Auntie Gladys. Or was it lovable despot Jason?
ReplyDeleteIt was the animal helper pat that won nick!
DeleteDoes this mean i have to stop reading shit? dang... lol actually, I think your writing is wonderful,your twisted way with words, and thats why i visit you... and please dont pull a Judy wringing hands and all calling out "writers block! IM tormented!" - poor Chris, now we know... Now be a good fellow and put back the post so us readers can determine that for ourselves...x
ReplyDeleteWell rats! I missed it. It hasn't been that long since I started reading your blog and looking forward to the next. Now it looks like I'm gonna have to kick start my laptop earlier in the morning before all the good stuff gets deleted.
ReplyDeleteDang it, John, you are such a tease! I read the first paragraph on my blog list page, and clicked to read the rest...gorn! Put it back! (By popular request.)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSaw the word tea bag and clicked. Not the first time I've been disappointed with a click like that...
ReplyDeleteWhat was wrong with it? I enjoyed the tale of the flying teabag. Made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteJudging by the comments I have been robbed. By you. Please put it back - and let us be the judge instead of the self-flagellator. Plase.
ReplyDeleteI thought the entry was hilarious. I generally read your posts to my 7/8 grade students (except for 'those'bits. They laughed too.
ReplyDeleteSend me your e mail and I will send them all a hello
Delete