I am just that bit pompous enough not to ever allow myself to put up with rudeness.
If I decide to be polite when I challenge a snotty remark, I usually resort to the tried and tested
"I beg your pardon?"
But I have been known to jump quite magnificently into a verbal joust worthy of something out of ALL ABOUT EVE when the need arises and the wind is blowing in the right direction.
Generally I am not shy when it comes to confrontation.
Having said this..Ihave just had a consultation with my GP which was not the most pleasant of experiences.
In my mind he was brusque, offhand and insensitive, and after( what I thought was an overly rushed consultation) I was left feeling I had been talked over and not listened to.
And yet I walked away from the situation without saying anything.
And that annoyed me, because for that brief moment I was not the assertive, knowledgable practitioner....I was one of Joe public who was expected to do what he's told.
Of course I will say something to him the next time we meet. I shall feel strong enough, pert enough and justified enough to do so, but I shall approach it all in a ,measured, fatherly and icy calm way.
In that respect I am just like old Meg
middle aged gays are just like old bitches everywhere
We NEVER FORGET
If I decide to be polite when I challenge a snotty remark, I usually resort to the tried and tested
"I beg your pardon?"
But I have been known to jump quite magnificently into a verbal joust worthy of something out of ALL ABOUT EVE when the need arises and the wind is blowing in the right direction.
Generally I am not shy when it comes to confrontation.
Having said this..Ihave just had a consultation with my GP which was not the most pleasant of experiences.
In my mind he was brusque, offhand and insensitive, and after( what I thought was an overly rushed consultation) I was left feeling I had been talked over and not listened to.
And yet I walked away from the situation without saying anything.
And that annoyed me, because for that brief moment I was not the assertive, knowledgable practitioner....I was one of Joe public who was expected to do what he's told.
Of course I will say something to him the next time we meet. I shall feel strong enough, pert enough and justified enough to do so, but I shall approach it all in a ,measured, fatherly and icy calm way.
In that respect I am just like old Meg
middle aged gays are just like old bitches everywhere
We NEVER FORGET
Whatever you do, don't be tempted to say, "Do you know who I am?!". It only provides them with more ammunition.
ReplyDeleteIf I said that ( unless the GP is a secret zombie/poultry/trelawnyd fan) I've lost the discussion
DeleteHey ho
And with that, he tossed his tresses, knotted his Laura Ashley headscarf securely under his nose and stalked out of the surgery...
ReplyDeleteI shall make sure I am not wearing my willies
DeleteIt's always difficult to be dignified in shit covered rubber boots
Willies? You have more than one! You lucky bastard! Mind you, I am glad the one I have is not detachable as clearly yours are because every time I went out saying to Marcia I was just off for a night with the boys she would reach into my Y Fronts, pluck it out and say, 'Well you won't be needing that then!'
DeleteOh the joy of automatic iPad spell check!
DeleteAbsolutely. It should be iSpell, uCheck.
DeleteOh you two! This little conversation made me laugh out loud!
DeleteOh God me too.!!!!
DeleteAfter a frustrating day of dealing with stupidity (yep, happens with regularity in the US) I needed that belly laugh desperately. John and Hippo.....can I give you guys a cyber hug? Good Lord that was hilarious.
Delete...a considered approach to Doctor Rude will be all the more effective I suspect, and you'll feel all the better for it, providing you don't brood over it in the meantime!
ReplyDeleteMe? Brood? Never
DeleteI'm constantly having experiences like this, normally with consultants and registrars, and feel compelled to hold my tongue as I'm treated like an idiot. I walk out feeling crushed and inadequate and this seems to have increased since (a) moving to the South West and (b) since hitting 45. Hmmmm.
ReplyDeletePerhaps the older we get the more invisible we become
DeleteWhat is it with these doctors? This is an all too familiar story. I'd say give as good as you get next time. It's hard enough going to the doctor's.
ReplyDeletePerhaps he was having a bad day
DeleteI have only been rude to a medic once and that was when my daughter decided to stick her hand out and ask to be born at 1am. The registrar said she wasn't sure if she should wake the surgeon...
ReplyDeleteWhat a pity you didn't tell him what you thought at the time, he will have forgotten his rudeness by the time you next see him.
ReplyDeleteThere's no excuse for this 'know your place' attitude.
I will make him remember.. Be assured of that
DeleteSounds like an episode of Doc Martin :)
ReplyDelete~Jo
I remember a TV interview once where a woman who was a patient said she always insists on calling her doctor by his/her first name! I've always wished I had the nerve ...
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DeleteHaving an extensive education as doctor's do....you would think they would have been taught common sense and courtesy but many times not... (if not their parents should have taught them!) ..I now have a younger doctor who takes all the time in the world with me, answers questions, reassures and shows great concern with my health. Ponder how you will quietly and "gently" set him back on his heels...Always after this type of encounter I think of so many things I wish I had said....but they would probably just laughed and thought " the crazy old bitch has finally lost it!"
ReplyDeleteWell this bitch nearly lost it also
DeleteJohn, I am the same when it comes to someone talking down or being rude. I just went through a similiar consultation with a Family Nurse Practitioner - C. Told her I brought questions, as told. She cut me off and said, "I am NOT your Primary Physician" right then and there I would've normally popped but,
ReplyDeletejust as you reacting like Joe Public, I believe I allowed myself to step back into time. The time of my military days and whatever was said, I followed. No questions or replies.
I am upset with myself for allowing this to happen. However, I did one thing when the staff kept forcefully threatening me an ER trip IF my BP didn't come down. (like I had control over the BP) After the 3rd threat, I said, DO IT! They sent me home with a monitor.
But, the FNP ordeal is still weighing heavily on my mind. If ever another meeting and she treats me the same, I will light her ass up. And, quite frankly, I'm looking forward to it.
Mike
I love that phrase LIGHT HER ASS UP..I shall use that again
DeleteIt was probably the best thing to do on hindsight, as now you can think about what you will say next time you see him in a considered and measured way. Not nice though....... at our doctors ( which I visit about once every 10 years ) we are told only to ask about one thing and that we have 10 minutes !!!!
ReplyDeleteDid you watch the great comic relief bake off last night John ? XXXX
Just watched it this morning while I am baking.....I do miss it
Deletegoing with dh to the doctors tomorrow to insist on a second opinion on dh's knees, as the original surgeon has the bed side manner of a cockroach {{{SIGH}}}
ReplyDeleteMy husband (who went through surgery and chemo last year) ALWAYS calls his doctors by their first names.
ReplyDeleteHis mom was mortified by that! LOL
My favorite is raised eyebrow (only one, shocked look and a murmured "OH MY!" But, let's face it, the dolts never know.
ReplyDeleteWe're of a generation that grew up with doctors being overly respected and never to be challenged. We're still not used to the idea that doctors can be criticised if they say something we don't like or don't understand. Next time, give him a piece of your mind if necessary!
ReplyDeleteI feel very fortunate to have a very kind and wonderful GP. Seems they are hard to come by these days.
ReplyDeleteMine usually has been very nice
DeletePerhaps his wife burnt his toast?
Or confiscated his willie before he walked out the door that morning? :)
DeleteAs a rule, I do not care for Specialists or Nurse practitioners or Physicians either. Since my hair has gone gray, they think I am deaf and stupid and have millions of dollars for "tests"...
ReplyDeleteOh... don't get me going.........
I feel that way every time I go to the doctor...they never seem to listen. Then I feel as if it was not even worth going.
ReplyDeletewell at least you got an ADULT doctor- I had a hospital appointment and thought it was obviously bring-your-child-to-work-day so decided I'd better humour the 12 year-old as he asked some rather impertinent questions...then it slowly dawned...
ReplyDeleteAh yes - the consultant who patronisingly asked me why I thought I had osteo arthritis did have the grace to look a bit sheepish when I answered the senior consultant - your boss. no opinion. Nothing like being spoken to as though you have no education and I find myself mentally wanting to use the phrase 'Young Man' in Lady Bracknell tones more and more. It's really hard to be assertive when you're not feeling your best and an uncaring doctor only makes it worse. Hope you feel better soon John.
ReplyDeleteI think it's best that you didn't initially say anything. I have very often regretted speaking out of anger. After having sufficient time to collect your thoughts, you can rationally speak your mind the next time you see him!
ReplyDeleteIn the US since we do not have socialized medicine (but your Dr.s visit wasnt very social??!) we have to pay health insurance, and most times that wont cover it all - you have to pay beyond that....so I will always remind them if they get a little brisk with me is - "I have just got done paying out $3900. for this test - give me my moneys worth please"
ReplyDeletealways shocks them back to my level LOL
Well you must have been feeling under par John but probably better saying nowt than 'lighting his ass up' just this once. I hate confrontation and avoid it at all costs...but as a scorpio I have a temper like a tempest and just like Ms Channing I never forget. Feel better.
ReplyDeleteYes John, plan your attack!
ReplyDeleteI love it! Not that you didn't assert yourself this time, but that you usually DO. That shows self-respect. Or so I hear. I'm a real wimp when it comes to confrontation, and always give the other person the benefit of the doubt, keep my mouth shut, and think that perhaps he's having a horrid day. Which, I noticed you also said in one of your responses to a comment. Hmmm, maybe we aren't all that different after all.
ReplyDeleteI have never tolerated a Dr being rude to me....I am, after all, the customer and they seem to forget I can take my sorry ass somewhere else. I also never forget that it's the nurses that are the heart of any health care facility. IMHO
ReplyDeleteI have no problems with doctors here in Canada. I am a big man so they respect me as much as I respect them, but we must remember to leave our attitudes and over sensitivity at the door. Doctors are human as well.
ReplyDeleteRude is rude is rude
DeleteSorry to read about your experience with your GP. You will redress the balance, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteNow then, when I last saw my GP, well sort of saw him, he placed on the surgical glove and I did quip, "If being a doctor doesn't work out for you, you can always get a job at Customs..."
Some of them are like that. Perhaps he was just having a bad day. When you go again - just ask to see someone else. Our doctors are OK but the nurse is brilliant - like they are. Hippo's comments cracked me up BTW
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel, John. Except I don't usually speak up. Good luck and have a better week!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I hate doctors like that!!
ReplyDeleteDoctors (I ALWAYS use their first names) forget sometimes that we are there in front of them usually because we're feeling under the weather. It's hard to be assertive in those situations.
ReplyDeleteI once said to mine "What's happened to your bedside manner today?" That seemed to work quite well and he apologised immediately.
I hope that whatever you went to see yours for, is all better now.
You get doctors like that everywhere. I vote with my feet. :)
ReplyDeleteI had one doctor like that, and didn't say anything, but argued with him on nearly every point. I changed doctors but let the practice know why i was changing.
ReplyDeleteThe last time i saw my GP (day i fractured my fifth metatarsal) he waxed on about certain baseline tests he thought i should have. In three minutes, i saw that we have very different opinions, but calmly said, "Can we please see to my bloody foot as that is most pressing and deal with these other things later?" This GP is a replacement for the one i had seen in 2010 when it was time for my tetenaus shot. I wasn't feeling my best that day, so haven't decided about this one.
The other one i fired wouldn't listen to me when i was healthy (i had gone in for a physical) so i did not feel at all comfortable that he would listen to me when i was unwell.
And yes, i have found that now i'm in my 50's i'm put on the shelf and very much invisible.