Friday, 11 January 2013

491 and Puking Dogs versus puking Children


Bloggers can be as self effacing as Mother Theresa when it comes to their readers, but generally the truth remains that we all are quite flattered when we notice our readership avatars increasing in number.
My followers now number a smidgen over 490. Of course only a fraction of these characters actually call in regularly to read the exploits of an over-the-hill poultry owner, but I am shallow enough to be giddy as a kipper when I finally reach my 500th follower?
I guess that we all need to be listened to in this strange game of life .
And bloggers being for the most part more mature than your average computer geek means that we are perhaps just that little more attentive to each other .
Generally it is a medium of good manners
(I DID say generally Thomas)

Anyhow today's post is a kind of thankful one.
Last night around 5am I was woken by some heavy breathing and the sound of retching.
It was George, who in Chris' absence had sneaked up to rest his head on the pillows.
A quick retch
A brief throw up of something unimanagable 
A smack of the lips and then back to sleep
Dogs are so much easier than children.
No wailing
No tears
No need for soothing words and a washing up bowl splashed liberally with dettol.
Just a brief pat on the head
And the disguesting job of cleaning up that corner of the duvet
When you finally wake up properly three hours later!
Oh and yes you can leave them unsupervised in a cold kitchen for a couple of hours if the need arises



53 comments:

  1. I'm so glad I check in at least twice a day. Stories of vomiting dogs always guarantee my audience especially as my eldest - an 11yr old Yorkie who is the re-incarnation of Victor Meldrew - has the alarming (to my BF and strangers) habit of stopping every now and again to try and yack up something from the lower regions of his being. Nothing ever appears - I know this and so does the dog, but I figure he now does it just to scare people into thinking half a dead mouse or a giant bogey might appear :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Odd, isn't it? One of the dogs starts to have a kit check and I'll boot it out into the yard. If Alex complains of an upset tummy, I will be up with him all night and if he vomits (as you do with malaria), I am distraught.

    Naturally I shall not feed your vainglory by commenting on your blog statistics... Tart.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 491 - I cannot quite work logically it out but, instinctively, I know your attraction. As for general good manners, all I can say is that we have never shied away from discussing retching dogs over the dinner-table in this household.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please replace 'logically' in the right position.

      Delete
  4. Wolfie is even more helpful...he eats whatever he throws up...waste not want not is his motto and I am very grateful for it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Welcome home Chris!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think you have got something John. 491 followers says it all. Congratulations.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It says I have been blogging since 2006!

      Delete
  7. Just found you a few weeks ago. I think I'm #481 in the hit parade. LOVE your humor.

    All our dogs were banned off of the bed when "someone" peed in her sleep. Yeah I'm talking about you Princess Ginny!!

    Pee is bad enough, but puke? Ugh~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome aboard tami, nice to " see" you

      Delete
  8. AND you can toss them outside for a bit tied up on a chain until they get over it. Try doing that with your kids and see what happens lol.

    ReplyDelete
  9. There are certain corners of Blogdom that are polite, and supportive and positive, but I suspect there's a lot of wretchedness out there too. As in life in general, you tend to get back what you put out there.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've always been amazed at how little fuss my kids make when they (very rarely) throw up . . . Just like George; quick wipe, no tears, a pat on the head, a sip of water and back to sleep. Leaving me to clear up whilst trying not to breathe in case I wretch! Because I, on the other hand, make a right song and dance of it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Urg! our house has been a minefield of puke, piddle and poop this last week, as both ours have some kind of lurgy. One had the quits so bad, that we had to go into the back garden at 2am, in our jammies to wash her bum, legs and tail at the outside tap!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Half the time they do it on purpose; a canine version of colonic irrigation (but not quite so weird).

    ReplyDelete
  13. Here it's cats.....no sooner is it in then it's out again!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. With thirteen cats, I'm quite OK with whatever body part malfunctions...but people?! I'm the first out of a room when a baby pukes/needs a diaper changing.
    Jane x

    ReplyDelete
  15. At this house we have both the two and four legged (cats) variety. You are right John, the two legged ones are much harder to deal with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I take my hat off to you

      Delete
  16. I was excited to hit 40 followers yesterday so I can't imagine the dizzy heights you've reached!

    At least whatever came up in the night didn't come out the other end entangled in shit. I've had that recently with some nylon walking sock thread.....I'll leave it there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Em em
      Go and see a doctor
      X

      Delete
  17. I've seen a couple of blogs where the word "polite" is as far away as it can be, and my visit there was very brief.

    I like this blogging neighbourhood very much and feel that you have the followers you do because it is such a welcoming spot. Even if they don't all check in.

    I'm still new to public blogging, although some friends IRL read my blog but are not any of my dozen current followers. Yet, like you, it makes me feel good when i see someone cares enough to add his/her name to the followers list or comments now and again.

    As for puke, the sounds of Phoebe retching wake me from the soundest of sleeps. She pukes without ceremony and knows i'll clean it up, so is not bothered to try covering it anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I was tickled when I had five. You do know that Chris reads your blog so now he will probably have something to say about you letting George sleep and yarf on his side of the bed.

    ReplyDelete
  19. If you wait a bit, dogs will often 're-injest' that barf saving us the trouble of a big cleanup - gross, but also a benefit over children.

    To pander to your ego, I will cease being a lurker and become an official follower - 492 - I bet you hit 500 by the end of the week!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you in anticipation Anne x

      Delete
  20. Woo HOO, sounds like a new race: I announce...the Gray 500! Come on, people, let's help push his derriere over that hurdle!

    Seriously, congrats, John. I'm not at all surprised at your impressive numbers. You and your followers always make this a fun place to visit.

    ReplyDelete
  21. You are definately blog royalty these days. xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  22. Funny you should post this on the same day thatmy dog threw up in her bed this morning. When we got up the whole of the downstairs smelt of dog sick - now twelve hours later the whole of the downstairs still smells of dogsick after copious quantities of dettol, domestos, washing-machined blankets etc.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I've decided to join your blog and contribute to your goal of 500 (heck, I've been unsuccessfully trying to get people to read my blog for years.....)

    The only thing worse than dog puke is cat puke.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yo everyone, go check out jon's blog!

      Delete
  24. I bet Chris is sorry he missed that.

    ReplyDelete
  25. My Scotty/Westie mix Hamish thew up all the time. In fact that he seemed to throw up on command was one of the reasons I ripped up all the carpet in the home when I moved in and put tile down. Now that he is over 8 years it seems to be getting better. But now he has other health problems. oh well.
    Hey just as I am typing this you name popped up on my computer, we crossed paths, in the sea of the internet.

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh this made me laugh today thanks for that. B

    ReplyDelete
  27. eww I had to clear exploding kitten litter tray earlier.

    I follow not the numbers of followers of my blog & have realised those whom I follow is in name only as my chosen picture ( my shadow ) does not show up on their Blogs as I need to be more technical & I can't be arsed !

    ReplyDelete
  28. Tee here 495!
    Thanks folks

    ReplyDelete
  29. you'll have the other five by the end of the weekend,

    Gill in Canada

    ReplyDelete
  30. Haha. Thanks for the post, John.
    I know how bad penny feels. I had the latches fail when I was cleaning the litter box one day. Not fun.

    Have a great weekend and hopefully no more dog puke!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Okay John, I officially signed in as a follower (I was commenting without a number all this time!)...does this mean now that I receive some sort of retirement benefit at a certain age? Does the John Gray 500 get the special flavoured kool-aid? :)

    Hugs to you Old Bean.

    Most sincerely,
    496

    ReplyDelete
  32. I am not an official "follower" but I still follow and the word was with The Earl and The Earl was the word, forever and ever ...Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Animals, where would we be without them? Baxter always has his nose into something he shouldn't and very kindly barfs under the couch. Got to love him.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Impressive numbers. I'm afraid these days, I'm more of a lurker than a commenter, but I stop by to catch up almost everyday...

    The Wiz (my cairn) hacked a hunk up under my bed. Figured I'd get to it later. When I finally decided to attack the nasty task, the hunk was gone. Quite considerate of him.

    Janet

    ReplyDelete
  35. I hope the lucky 500th follower materialises soon. Our cats have developed the skill of puking in the small hours - right where I am going to step in it as soon as I get up. And cat puke smells disgusting. The cat might be perfectly content on the 'better out than in principle' but I need to clean it up NOW.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I remember being amazingly impressed once when I was a sprog - the family hound vomited up a very neat, steaming, stomach-shaped mousse, sniffed at it and then proceeded to re-eat it.

    A pragmatic approach!

    ReplyDelete
  37. OK, I have been following your blog for a couple of years but never became a "follower" so now I have officially joined.
    GO 500!
    Peter

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Peter....thank you in pandering to my shallow nature

      Delete
    2. Love your shallow nature.
      Cheers

      Delete
  38. Hi John! Playing the game of catch-up on your blog, and see that you are officially at 498 followers right now--You're so close! I remember when I started following you, you weren't even at 100, and I was a new blogger myself. You've come a long way, and I like being able to say 'I knew you when!' :-)

    PS: I wake up to 'that sound' too, and shouldn't because I hear it all the time! Enjoy your gloomy Saturday--It's the same weather here in Virginia.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Kim, yes those were the "old days" xx

    ReplyDelete
  40. goodness and you didnt even have to resort to having a sweepstakes drawing or using "blogher" ;D

    do you think its your writing? or your photography? Or the fact that your dogs are more adorable then most?

    lets ask george... x

    ReplyDelete
  41. I have a long way to catch you up but my blog is more niche than yours - I look on some sites and they have thousands of followers and none of the sites are as down to earth and funny as yours!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x