I am just about to start making Paul Hollywood's mince pies (yes, he's that tv silver Fox and sexy sidekick of Mary Berry) and I am need of a little colour in today's grey and dismal day.
The colour, as it happened, arrived in the shape of some custard yellow steps over at the pensioner bungalows, and the story about just how they got there is an abject lesson in "jobs worth health and safety gone mad as well as being an illustration that Trelawnyd is not always populated by benign Welsh speaking saints who spend most of the day smiling, holding hands and singing "Kunbaya!"
A while ago I saw one of the pensioners who was busy painting a small, narrow white line on the top of his concrete step which is an old trick to highlight the location of the step especially when it is dark. The job was incredibly neat and professionally done, so it was with some surprise when a few days later the painter told me that another villager had reported the work to the council stating that the painted line was indeed a health and safety issue.
Representatives from the council were summonsed
Heads were scratched
Battle lines were drawn and as there is a want with petty community issues, emotions ran high as the heavy handed council eventually wheeled their power
and this is the result of their deliberations
Custard Yellow steps!
As I passed the steps I pointed to the pensioners who were standing stock still looking incredulously at the neon glow and called out cheerfully "apparently you can see them from Space!"
The pensioner scowled
"It's like living on the ruddy set of The Wizard of Oz" he muttered
This is exactly why councillors should be introduced to Madam Guillotine every couple of years and a fresh batch brought in.
ReplyDeleteHmm, when they make "Trelawnyd the movie" Paul could play you!
ReplyDeletehummmm I was thinking more Russell Crowe Kath......
DeleteOh he's not nearly slim and handsome enough :-D
DeleteThis sort of thing certainly is annoying.
ReplyDeleteI remember when I had my flat in London, there was a communal back door from the common areas and it had a yale lock and one of those chub locks with a twisted handle, the sort you get on a loo door. I remember a row taking place with the management company, because they thought it might be difficult to turn if there was a fire. This was ridiculous as it was as easy as turning a door handle. The residents had to pay to have this lock removed which made the door a burglars paradise. It was the sort of thing that boiled my blood because it was petty, stupid beurocracy (which I can't even spell)
Many brains yeild little sense...and I agree with Kath on the movie role!
ReplyDeleteHang on, they're HIS steps???
ReplyDeleteunfortunately the properties are owned by the council
DeletePaul Hollywood - the best of British crumpet !!
ReplyDeleteCustard yellow steps - the worst of local politics.
'Paul Hollywood'? Surely that cannot be his real name? Mary Berry started off in Bath, btw.
ReplyDeleteshe's a sweetie definately the "spirit that won the war"
Deletemind you he's not bad either
And now you can't differentiate the edge of the step from the rest of it and are likely to go arse over tit...
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the very same thing.
DeleteThe mere desire to be a politician should prevent a person from ever being one.
ReplyDeleteJane x
Mince Pies... MMMMaarghhh!
ReplyDeleteHalfrida, absolutely. All the residents will start wearing sunglasses to protect themselves from the glare. The NHS might as well station a bloody ambulance there. If they parked it right at the bottom of the steps, it would be the world's first self loading ambulance.
In a world filled with real problems... they are worried about the color of the steps?
ReplyDeleteBlech......what an eye sore. Maybe someone can bomb it with some artsy fartsy paintings. Much like the yarn bombs that knitters and crocheters leave anonymously. Google "yarn bomb" and you'll see what I mean. Or, you can title it, Random Acts of Decorating".
ReplyDeleteCheers!
as i read this all I could think was "click your heals three times..."
ReplyDeleteI'm with Sarah Millican - custard is a force for good and goes with just about anything. Especially if it's a bit dry.
ReplyDeletePink is definitely his colour.
ReplyDeleteWell anyway John, now the steps are highly visible and no one should be tripping on them.
Russell's got a big butt....definitely Paul.
ReplyDeleteYou should offer to hold the torch late one night while the erstwhile painting pensioner adds some bright contrasting stripes as he did before. Perhaps a nice lime green, or a lovely fuscia?
ReplyDelete'Follow the yellow brick steps, follow the yellow brick steps'! Surely a white (or yellow) line along the edge of the steps would suffice? When it snows no-one will see the steps anyway!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking I'm a politician until I realized I have no authority, so I'm not. I only make sure the road department gets paid. I'd fight back with a new contrasting stripe. Every time!
ReplyDeleteHow can a painted white line be a health and safety issue?
ReplyDeleteLOL thank you so much for the laugh today - i needed that!
ReplyDeleteSoon enough it will wear off...but there might be some pensioners hastening its demise LOL
and here I came because of that handsome picture - we do have the same tastes, John...
Typical of beaurocracy gone mad (that word looks wrong and can't be bothered to go an look it up).
ReplyDeleteI might have known you would fancy that Hollywood chap - his hair looks far too neat to be real to me.
I prefer someone a bit "rougher" pat but he'll do!
DeleteWow! He is handsome! Wouldn't mind him under my Christmas tree! We could have fun!
ReplyDeleteAmazing what those "in charge" can come up with and call solutions.
ReplyDeleteMaybe some good-willed painting elf will tone those steps down during the night...hint, hint.
Good grief.
ReplyDeleteSome people never have enough to do, do they?
Stay warm, John! ♥
Leave it to bureaucrats to complicate matters and booger things up with their "solution". Then again, it may be ugly, but everyone can SEE them. (Whether they want to or not.)
ReplyDeleteWould one be able to spot a banana skin on those steps? I think questions should be asked!
ReplyDeletePower corrupts... Or makes silly. Or both.
ReplyDelete"It's like living on the ruddy set of The Wizard of Oz" - Yeah and we all know who plays the scarecrow!
ReplyDeleteUnbelievable. (And surprisingly American.)
ReplyDelete