Monday, 5 November 2012

Shiver Me Timbers

Sometimes I think I do live in a kind of rural pantomime.

This morning the RFWF roared past the cottage in his red landrover
He was leaning out of the window with a big grin and looked remarkably like Robert Newton from Treasure Island


"I have found you a ram!" he called out
( I wouldn't have been surprised if he would have added 
"me hearties!!!" whilst waving his cutlass out of the window.
 
I would love to be a "bit of a character"
Not "mad enough to be termed an eccentric"
But mad enough to be seen as "interesting,"
  and different.
It will never happen because I think I am just too bland
But I am working on it.

Years ago, when I was a bank clerk, I recall serving  a rather unkempt lady who we the Nat West Bank staff helpfully described as "nutty as Marathon bar"
(It was renamed Snickers years later btw)
I remember her withdrawing a couple of hundred pounds from her account, which she carefully counted in front of me and then , with slow deliberation, she lifted her blouse and stuffed the 40 five pound notes around the circumference of her bra
As she finished she suddenly thought of something , then retrieving one  crumpled five pound note she asked me for one bag of mixed silver
"Do you know where I am going to put that?" she cackled
"I hesitate to ask" I remember saying
And with a smile she started to feed the coins into a Remembrance collection tin on the bank's counter
After an age, she took all of the plastic poppies out of the tray and went around the bank presenting all of the waiting customers and staff with a flower each.
Eccentric or mentally ill?
who knows..
But I recall she made for a more interesting morning on a drab Welsh morning in Rhyl in 1980



39 comments:

  1. I can hardly wait to get to the point when I care so little what people might think!

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  2. I love these old characters, they make the world a much better place.
    Jo xx

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  3. I used to know two sisters who lived in a Jacobean manor...they took in and fed any stray animal that wandered along, putting Ming bowls down for the food and water.
    They were not generally very kempt....until they went to the County Show at which point it was the tweed suits and permed hair and I hardly knew them.

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  4. John, let me assure you of one thing, here and now, YOU ARE DEFINITELY A 'BIT OF A CHARACTER', make no mistake about it - and if you ever get round to writing that book about your daily adventures (which I try to keep persuading you to do) then the whole world will know it!

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  5. You do attract them John AND you're definitely a character!!!

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  6. Sometimes the "oldies" just make you smile.....Just like your blog....sunshine on a cloudy day!

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  7. Well the bank clerk bit took me by surprise! I think what Mrs Marathon did was really sweet. I bet that raised a few smiles.

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  8. John. Trust me. You're as mad as cheese. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.....

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  9. Marvellous...the world is a better place with these left-field folks!

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  10. somebody once said that "the british love nothing more than an eccentric.....we just dont like living next door to them.." - The RFWF and the Crocs wearing arctic fisherman of Bwythyn y Llan are pretty similar in many ways, dont try and distance yourself from that fashionable man about the village, your attire is very similar on any given day....

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  11. Do you remember anything else about that day? Do you remember any other people on that day? It's those "kind of people" we whisper about behind their backs, that we remember when it's all said and done.

    Cindy Bee

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  12. Too bland?? We should ask more of the villagers. Perhaps start with that poor lady who got hit with the pastry?

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    1. I think I must have missed that one!

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  13. I imgine that Chris is more than happy that you are not more of a character than you already are!
    Jane x

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  14. I expect there will be a few interesting stories surface about you all in good time.

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  15. What makes you think you're not one of the village characters? Tossing pastries across the lane, wreaking vengeance with bags of dog shit, having public conversations about your need for "a good ram"...is that truly considered "bland" in your part of the world??

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  16. I just love your slant on the world. You make it such an interesting place!

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  17. LOL - If you're BLAND then what does that say about the rest of the village! FAB!

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  18. You bland John, NEVER!

    There is a fine line between genius and crazy. As we age, that line becomes more faint.

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  19. The Marathon bar lady probably thought of herself bland!
    Thinking about some of things you've done, I think you can be considered a character.

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  20. You bland......I just coughed my morning coffee out my nose.

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  21. I bet she had some tales to tell...she sounds delightful.....and you don't fare so low on the character scale either....how many jobs have you had/experiences have you enjoyed?

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  22. I am sure others in the village see you as more than just the 'egg man'. You are, after all, John the dogs.

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  23. I hope we all age into wonderful eccentric characters. Seems to me you've got a good start. ;)
    (and I love Mrs. Marathon. Thanks for that wonderful story.)

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  24. You worked in a bank ?!!!

    We have a few "characters" in our village and I truly hope to be in their club one day ( a friend once said she imagined me old & eccentric with a straw hat & a trug - suits me ! )

    A lovely lady in her 90's & regular customer at the Charity shop (an ex nurse ) once asked a big burly bloke in the queue in the co-op if he was going to use his plastic bag again.... He looked very annoyed & hissed a "Yes" ( He SO wasn't going to re -use it ! ) She replied "because if you aren't I'd like to buy you one of these" .... and held up a calico shopping bag.

    I'd like to meet your neighbours & hear all the stories about you !

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  25. John, you fill all the criteria you want to be. I love your blog and think you're brilliant and this one just cracked me up.

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  26. I too am aiming for eccentric but suspect that I do fall short, a little bland but I do sometimes say things that scare people (not intentionally). Although I do not think you do, I think you are right up there with the lady with the purple hat that occasionally smells of cat pee.

    I don't think you smell but I imagine you are ( and supported by some of your photos) on occasion a little grubby? I am hoping someone, somewhere decides to turn you into reality TV, never mind the kids from Chelsea I want John from Trelawynd (on TV).

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  27. I suspect that the last thing anyone would call you is "bland." The tales of your exploits - pastry hurling, dog shit - are rapidly becoming the stuff of legend. Keep it up!

    Love the story about Mrs Marathon.

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  28. I am tyPing this on chris' phone with my big fat fingers. Apologies but our Internet is down. I am not sure for how long bare with me d

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  29. I am tyPing this on chris' phone with my big fat fingers. Apologies but our Internet is down. I am not sure for how long bare with me d

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    1. How I hate those stupid phones. I have big fat fingers too and it's ludicrous trying to hit all those stupid wee keys. Bah.

      By the way? You're a character. An internet character. One of the finest. Now pass me a poppy.

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  30. Don't judge a book by it's cover.

    Long John Silver used to scare the begeezes out of me when I was a kid....he still does!! lol

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  31. There's much to be said for the "characters". :-)

    Pearl

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  32. Ah yes that'll be the bland man who throws pastry at passing cars, blogs about squeezing anal glands on the kitchen table, cares for a blind rooster, dresses for the farmyard, drives a van with windows smeared with dog snot and entertains loads of people with his blog. Sorry John you just don't cut it - you'll never be bland. I've never met you but I count you as one of the true characters of blogland and it's a joy to read your writing.

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  33. You do eccentricity very well in the UK, and I love it. And I think the divider between eccentricity and mentally ill is the question 'does it harm anyone?'

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  34. She enjoyed bringing a smile to everyone's face. :o)
    We have Poppy days here, too. I always get one if I can.
    Have a great week, John!

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  35. Just a kind eccentric sweetheart

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  36. You BLAND? My dear, you need to go back and read some of your own blogs! You are already a delightful character in your own right.

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