When Chris went into church yesterday, I spent a therapeutic 45 minutes listening to Desert Island Discs as I cleaned the "patio" behind the cottage.
Affable despot Jason stopped to chat when out for a walk with his dogs and we embarked on a somewhat light hearted conversation about how "unreal" Trelawnyd can look to someone who casts an "objective" eye on it''s daily toings and froings.
"It's like living in a real life version of the
The Truman Show" he said wryly.
Now I think I could fill this blog several times over with some of the village stories recalled by Jason ( who could be viewed by the local female population as one of the very few Village pin ups we have in Trelawnyd), but in way of maintaining good neighbour relations I think it is prudent not to broadcast most of them!
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| Every Little Helps |
Anyway I write this background in view of today's blog entry, which in retrospect is as bizarre as anything Jason has observed from Ty Wynne.
It relates to my recent obsession with William's stools.
Last Thursday William somehow got hold of a supermarket carrier bag.
I have no idea what exactly was inside it,but suffice to say that it looked as though he had eaten it's contents as well as part of the plastic itself.
Luckily ever since then, he has been passing remnants of the bag, complete with it's blue and white lettering and logo, and every morning I have been dissecting any "passed motion" to ensure things are moving "properly" so to speak.
In the lane this morning William stopped for a number 2, and with a rather surprised expression on his face, started to pass what can be only described as brown plastic bunting.
I bent down and holding one part of the plastic I started to "unravel" the mess slightly-in an effort to ensure that all had been passed safely....(I also have to say that the other end had not quite left William's bum asI did so )...........
Anyhow, I was only thinking to myself of how "odd" this spectacle must have looked when a woman in a 4 x 4 drove past. ( regular readers may remember when I accidentally hit a passing car with a lump of pastry- well it was the same woman!)
She probably thought you were looking for another pasty which is why she hit the accelerator.
ReplyDeleteI think that mural is brilliant!
ReplyDeleteGabbit the goat got onto my dining table during the night and ate all the cigarette butts in my ashtray. She is now projectile vomiting masticated butts all over the place. How the hell did I end up with a pet goat?
The lady in the 4x4 must have thought you were taking a dog for walk, backwards... either that or she now finally realises were one plugs the control cable into a remote control dog.
There is definitely a name for people like you.
ReplyDeleteNx
PS. Liked the pussy photo from yesterday :-o Nx
it would have been great if the shite actually came out neatly parcelled in the bags, all ready to be binned....out of his "bag passage" so to speak !.....
ReplyDeleteI think there's a possibility that somewhere in the beginning Welsh Terriers were crossed with goat. Elsie will consume stuff like that as well.
ReplyDeleteHa! Ha! Thanks for brightening my birthday morning your earlship. I think you have accidentally hit upon an innovative idea for advertising "Tesco" - a streamer coming out of a dog's arse - "Every Little Helps!"
ReplyDeleteOur elderly dog needs his bum wiped after no.2's, but I try to make sure it is out of sight of everyone!
ReplyDeleteThat just shows what an animal lover you are John .....I don't even know if I would do that for my husband ( well, maybe !!) although he is not likely to eat a Tesco bag.
ReplyDeleteAll of your animals will never know just how lucky they were to come and live with you. XXXX
At 6:00 a.m., this a.m. I'm speaking of, I just cleaned up the most colorful vomit ever from my Welsh Terrier, Winston. He apparently tore up and ate part of two different toys while we were gone yesterday.
ReplyDeleteCindy Bee
I am certain it could only happen to you, John. Ha ! Little Missy Mercedes decided to eat a carpet she had pulled into her crate. It was some time she ran around with at least 4 inches from her butt. I couldn't pull it out with fear of not knowing how long it had been and maybe being wrapped around her bowels...I have 2 such "eat everything" in sight who reside here with us. Never a dull moment when they keep us either 1) amused or 2) on our toes.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't give the neighbors something to talk about, you might as well pack up and move.
ReplyDeleteOkay, you've made me laugh. Not an easy thing to do. I wonder if her perplexed look held the thought of what the previous pastry actually was.
ReplyDeleteI was about to say how much I like the Truman Show...even if I'm not so sure about Jim Carrey...but then as I was eating my lunch I got to the bit about stools. I should know better by now
ReplyDeleteplease, stop, no more, can't.......breathe, wheeze
ReplyDeleteHa ha, I can just imagine the string of bunting held up between your fingers and William's bum!
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't decorate the outside of your cottage with it.
What no picture of the Trelawnyd pin up!
ReplyDeleteI do hope the three new hens are layers and can up the egg supply.
And I have picked through more s##t than like to think about. It all goes with caring for your animal's health.
Cheers
it is I !!!!....dont quite see it myself
Deletethere's not many in the village for them to choose from
DeleteA friend of mine had a cat who loved to consume tinsel from the Christmas tree. There was no need to dress up "Jingles" with a holiday bow durring the holidays as many times she just ran thru the room sporting silver, green and red adornments flashing under her tail.
ReplyDeleteMy dogs have this problem with grass, but I won't go into details. Enough to say that I'm occasionally given a look that says 'HELP'
ReplyDeleteHas anyone claimed the bunting?
ReplyDeleteJane x
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI can't even look @ those little foiled wrapped cheeses in the supermarket without thinking of his foil wrapped poo with the smiling cow faces on it. Maybe he is part goat somewhere in his lineage?
ReplyDeleteI am laughing and so glad I'm not eating my lunch!
ReplyDeleteIndeed they are lucky to have you but Chris is luckiest of all. Without the pets to occupy you it might be He who would be so closely examined. We nurses can't shut off our inquisitive brains just like that now can we?
ReplyDeletewhat festive poop that was. A friend's dog ate her sister in law's lacy thong then pooped it out. Needless to say the sister in law didn't want her digested thong back.
ReplyDeleteHas William always been so highly strung?
ReplyDeleteWe once met a fellow whose over-sized dog ate anything and everything he came across. We personally saw him scarf down a hamburger, wrappings and all, but the guy told us it wasn't at all unusual for the dog to walk around with various colors of electrical wiring trailing from his nether region.
ReplyDeleteIt would take too long to explain to her what you were doing. Thanks for the laugh, and i loved Stew's comment. I'm sure i give my neighbours something to chat about now and again.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous pen picture you have just painted...would love to have seen her face and you pulling bunting from your dogs arse!!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness that was hilarious! You have made my day yet again.
ReplyDeleteThis would probably prove to be even funnier if I knew what the F a "bunting" was. To me it's a bird......
ReplyDeleteOne year for the (American) Thanksgiving holiday, Kali and I bought a smoked turkey breast. I came encased in a mesh string bag, which, after cooking the breast, I tossed in the bin. The next morning, I found a strange, unidentifiable, wormy mass in the middle of the floor, obviously puked-up by one of the cats. I gathered the mass into a plastic bag and hurried it off to the vet, hoping that he could identify it and give me some anti-worm medicine for the cats. Of course, by now, you've figured out that one of the cats had gotten into the bin and eaten the turkey-juice-soaked mesh bag, then later puked it up. Boy, did I feel stupid.
ReplyDeleteIs it a coincidence that as I write this comment the picture at the side of it, on your side bar, says "My little piece of normality"? Ask the woman in the passing 4 x 4 what is normal about some chap unravelling bunting from a dogs ****
ReplyDeleteOur bull terrier used to chew things. One day he scarfed down a ball of string, and, of course, I was keeping an eye out for it. He started to pass it in the street, so I grabbed the end (in my bagged hand) and pulled gently. As I looked up, I was at a bus stop, and a bus had indeeed stopped. A bus full of workers were looking out the window at me ! I was mortified.
ReplyDeleteJohn, you owe me a monitor, as I spit up and sprayed a mouthful coffee I was drinking when I read your tale. Well, you could split the cost with Tom, since I cleaned up the mess and then read his comment. Still laughing at the visual, and at what your 4X4 neighbor must be thinking.
ReplyDeletePhil
Deletethat's my job!
Oh! [Hand across mouth] I was that woman!!!!
ReplyDeleteOk, kidding.
OMG - Crying!!!
ReplyDeleteThe woman probably has a blog called 'That Guy from Trelawnyd ...'
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, John, we're like that in Llanasa, too. I regularly have to pull out poo bunting made of grass out of Finley's behind while he runs around squealing. The looks I get...
ReplyDeletehannah
Deletewill be emailing you about the flower show comittee soon!
ps our first welsh terrier was called finlay!
I wonder if it was Dame Judy Dench that you heard on D.I.D.? I heard her on Radio 4 extra's D.I.D., and was quite shocked to hear that she's a QUAKER.
ReplyDelete