Well Meaning Idiots

The woman with the ducks wanted me to pay for taking them off her well manicured hands and neat little flowered boarders.
She said she paid 20£  for each of  her little Aylesburys,
I told her she paid 30£ quid too much
She bought them from her window cleaner who said they would make  ideal suburban pets
That was before they had reduced part of her lawn to mud


In the end I took them for nothing, and was so angry I would have taken them anyway,
The woman had no clue of how to look after  RUBBER DUCK let alone two under age real life ducklings.


The youngsters had been given free range of the woman's garden and drive over the past two weeks or so, even though I suspect they are now only six weeks old. I explained to her that given the bad weather we have experienced over the past month I was surprised that the little chaps had not succumbed to the wet....especially as neither bird has any feathers showing through yet


The pair have survived  by pure luck, especially given the fact that their home was a converted wooden barrel and a greater amount of their feed has been slices of white bread and a bit of corn.


I had the pair caught and in the back of the Berlingo before the woman had drawn a big breath.
"I think I will buy a couple of those big fat hens for the garden" The woman mused before I drove away
"I saw a couple in Homes and Gardens , they are called Orpingtons....do you have any for sale?"
"No" I said shortly and drove off