Thursday, 12 July 2012

Mrs Spriggs and the Buggy

I fell asleep at the kitchen table when I got home from work this morning.
I woke up after an hour or so with a sore neck and dribble all down my face.
So is the world  of the occasional night shift.
I had a coffee then went out to deliver some duck eggs which I had promised to drop off and I was glad that I did for as I turned into Bron Haul I caught a glimpse of Mrs Spriggs.
Now Mrs Spriggs (not her real name) is one of those very VERY old ladies that always sound as though she is crying when she talks.She has that slightly odd, wavering voice that carries literally for miles. and when I sometimes try to pass her when she is waiting for the morning bus into town, the dogs will often stop then sit and stare at her when she cries her very odd cries of welcome.
Today, Mrs Spriggs was perched on top of a brand new shiny invalid scooter, complete with impressive wicker basket on the front. She was driving it at full tilt along the centre of the road,and even at a distance of say 50 yards, I could tell that her knuckles were white as the proverbial sheet.
Islwyn Thomas, himself in his late eighties, stood nearby and he gave me a small wave and a smile...
"watch this" , he  quipped "this should be fun!"
Mrs Spriggs passed us, letting out a long moaning scream as she did so
I noticed that the scream had a definite Doppler effect to it
"I'm scccccaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrred!!!!!!!!!!!" she cried " this is all new to me!"
she turned the scooter around and in way of explanation as she made a second run she cried out again
"The scooter is on loan..I'm trying it out!!!.....but I can't get the hang of the kerbs!"
She mounted the pavement briefly near Stan and Kit's neat little bungalow and let out a long "oooooooooooohhhhhhh!" as she did so.
And as I stopped to watch... realising instantly that this was the stuff of all passable blogs!
Mrs Spriggs glided past yet again emitting another little scream like girls do on rollercoasters

As she "hand braked it by the junction of High Street, She informed Islwyn and myself rather breathlessly that the buggy needed to be returned by Friday so she had to practise when the weather was dry.
"How do I look on it?" she wailed as she made her third and final run

"precarious !" I said under my breath

38 comments:

  1. Is that the 'twin carb' version?

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  2. that just reminded me of a very funny big brother moment...... let me see......
    here it is.... overly produced but you get the idea

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  3. AF
    lol
    add to your video a great deal of screaming and you have a ringer!

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  4. Is this a Last of the Summer Wine moment?

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  5. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh John, too funny!

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  6. This really needs to be a video!!!! love it!

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  7. I can see a road racer in the making.
    Jane x

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  8. I'm just relieved Mrs Spriggs didn't practise in Tesco!

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  9. LOL you have to give her credit scared or not she was practicing LOL

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  10. All I can think of is 'yeeee-haaaaa!!!!' :-))

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  11. Perhaps she could start doing the egg deliveries for you..

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  12. There is an old dear around here who drives one of those at about 20 MPH along crowded pavements, and she has one of those old-fashioned rubber hooters which she uses CONSTANTLY.

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  13. It's scary for us pedestrians too when someone comes bowling along the pavement in their electric buggy. I just hope they're in control of the thing and won't send me flying.

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  14. Hello I have been reading your blog for a few weeks now and you make me giggle every day!!!

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  15. All i can say is, you must live in a fantastic village. Brilliant post.

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  16. Priceless! Wonderful lady, and also those two egg stealing chums of yours. (Have just caught up with your blogs, John)

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  17. I can so imagine this -- echoing across the valleys! Some of these people are frightening -- especially around here where they are suddenly upon you from behind and no warning as they pass you. So I guess the screaming version has its good points safety wise!

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  18. Marvelous post! I loved it all the way to the end, but best part was that the old woman wanted to know how she looked on the thing--that is priceless!

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  19. The poor dear, i hope she gets the hang of it. I used those sort of scooters when i had my broken leg, as many stores here have them "for those customers who need a lift." Problem is, they're all just enough different that the middle gear in one plods along, whilst in another you're zooming at breakneck speed. Couple that with a drug-addled brain (pain meds), and it can be a wild ride.

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  20. Thank you for that glimpse of village life and a bit of levity in the morning.

    Go Mrs. Spriggs!

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  21. This is wonderful. I just hope that she stays away from the edge of that road and she is wearing a seat belt.

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  22. Hilarious stuff. Your descriptions are priceless.

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  23. Have considered (really) getting one of this type of thing.

    Thinking of all sorts of comments but none fit for publication. ;-)

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  24. Brilliant! I had in my mind that scene when Victor Meldrew loses control of a ride-on lawnmower.

    You didn't point out to her that tomorrow is Friday 13th?

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  25. I'm gonna get one of those and have a little terrier in the front basket. It'll look really cute until someone tries to touch it, then it'll go mental, yapping and rearing up like Alien, forcing the would-be patter to leap back in horror hee hee
    There's gotta be something to look forward to in your dotage. grannies behaving badly will be my motto with Mrs Spriggs my role model.

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  26. Maybe someone had better get the old dear a crash helmet. Pink, and well decorated with flowers, since she's concerned about her appearance. Loved this story.

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  27. Great post John. I was smiling all through it and thought though that it might have a different ending. Hope she gets the hang of it for herself and for a few more blogs.

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  28. She needs a roll bar. Now

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  29. Poor dear. I hope she can master it. The men on my road, average age seventy, ride their lawn mowers to get to each other's houses.

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  30. And just when I was thinking I might try one!

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  31. I really think that you ought to consider producing 'clips' about 'Trelawnyd'! Seriously, you could give 'Coronation Street' a 'run for their money'!
    These are precious moments John that you have written down....and now share with the world!!!

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  32. If she gets one of those to keep, someone should really add some little flame decals coming off around the wheels. ;)

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  33. Go Mrs. Spriggs! At least she is out and about, even if a bit scared.

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  34. Can't wait until I can get one of those! :-)

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  35. I laughed and laughed.
    Just lovely

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  36. I gotta get me one of those...just not yet! She reminds me of the old lady in "Waking Ned Devine". You must watch it.

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  37. great stuff - enjoyed reading that John

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