The Peril of over tight Knickers

I was a youthful 21 when I realised that doctors were not infallible.

I was a first year student nurse on my first placement and the doctor was an elderly locum covering an "out of hours" admission to the psychiatric ward. The patient ( and there always has to be a patient in these cases) was a large, cheerful, red faced alcoholic on her uppers.

Now,I was acting as chaperone during the admission procedure ( yes I know I was and am a male...but at the time (1983) this small fact didn't seem THAT important) and given the fact that the doctor , I suspect, was showing off somewhat, the examination seemed to take an absolute age.

With incredible patience and good humour, I remember the patient answering every mind numbing question politely and in detail. She rolled her eyes only a couple of times when the doctor tried four times to draw blood and by the time she was asked to partially disrobe for her physical examination even I was getting bored by it all.

The elderly doctor gave the woman a good going over. He described this and noted that and so excited was he at having a captive audience in me, he obviously decided to teach me everything , he thought I needed to know about the body of a 50 year old woman!

After an age he pointed to the woman's ample abdomen and said rather pompously 

"look at this scar..absolutely wonderful surgical techniques have been used here.....see can you see it? it's an old appendix scar!...so neat....so precise"

The woman looked down to survey his findings and looked slightly worried

She grabbed my arm when the doctor turned away to wash his hands

and she mouthed at me

"I've never had me appendix out!"

It must have been a mark left by some over tight knicker elastic