I know I paint him as a sort of exasperated , somewhat fastidious academic that spends much of his time shaking his head at my teenage, animal obsessed, shit covered, scruffy bastard ways......and of course, in many ways this portrait is indeed a correct one......I do drive him to distraction!
So yesterday, I did indeed make the effort.
Meg was given a bubble bath , had her hair all fluffed up and smelt delicately of almonds
The dog snot was removed from the inside of the bedroom windows
Apple blossom ,bunches of granny's bonnets and lilac were placed in vases and tastefully arranged around the cottage,
All traces of chicken shit was removed from collected eggs and all kitchen surfaces,
and after strimming the field borders, I had a bath BEFORE he got home from work and looked fairly clean and tidy!
After dinner we watched CHATSWORTH, the BBC documentary about the famous Stately Home ( Chris' favourite place by the way!) and after he had gone to bed in clean animal free sheets, I took the dogs out for their final walk with a clean and non farting Albert in tow.
It was all too good to last!
For when I got back, I quietly plonked myself down in front of the tv to sneakily watch a re run of The Walking Dead
As the Channel five announcer warned rather too loudly that the "following programme was filled with zombie scenes of graphic violence, gore and mayhem!"
I heard Chris groan loudly
"Oh God- the teenager has returned"
He sighed.........
I got half way through reading this and said to myself, "It won't last". I thought it might last until the end of the post though. I'm sure he wouldn't have you any other way.
ReplyDeleteThe child remains in all of us, no matter our age. This is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteHehehe ... you must be so over the top loveable though, John. LMAO
ReplyDeleteDid he fling the door open, only to step back in confusion, crying "Oh I do apologise, I obviously have the wrong house!"
ReplyDeleteI guess infinite tolerance of an unrepentant scruffy bastard is a sign of true love....
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ReplyDeleteLike North of Wiarton says, you are pretty darned adorable. Flowers, almond-scented pets and chicken-shit-free eggs would win the heart of any of us. And I LOVE The Walking Dead! Move over on that hair-covered couch and share the popcorn!
ReplyDeleteAnd that, my friend, is why it works so well.
ReplyDeleteThank heaven for teenagers, except, of course, when they actually ARE teenagers.
ReplyDeleteYou know he loves the teenager in you!
ReplyDelete"Chatsworth" is an amazing advertisement for the stately home of that name and visitor numbers are bound to increase this summer thanks to the BBC. So many of England's landowning gentry failed to pay their taxes but didn't fail to short-change their servants and tenant farmers. No wonder they had so much spare money to spend on ostentatious homes.
ReplyDelete...ah but he loves you anyway, so don't change, stay yourself, because you are a person who stands tall in themselves, therefore you are one of the rare ones.
ReplyDeleteCoincidentally.... (I've already seen both series of Walking Dead) we started watching the whole thing again last night (Dawn has never seen them and I know she'll enjoy them) - I have a decent download so we can get through them two at a time.... not sure how good it's going to be if/when there's a third series.... hope it doesn't carry on regardless like desperate housewives or lost or some other cruddy thing that ran out of story a long time ago.....
ReplyDeleteIt's keeping you young, inside and out, and that's a good thing.
ReplyDeleteaaaaaah...poor Chris ;-) He loves it really
ReplyDeleteI am with you, John. We only have one life...we may as well have fun with it.
ReplyDeleteYou tried, so that should get you some points.
ReplyDeleteJane x
Sounds like Chris is more of a "glass half empty" kind of a guy. You gave him a lovely gift and deserved your reward.
ReplyDeleteYou don't want him to get too used to these things, then they wouldn't be a novelty (a good dose of Zombie reality is a good counter-acter)... at least, that's my thinking when I finally get around to dusting and vaccuming and all the rest. But wow, you really went to town. I'm taking notes...
ReplyDeleteI enjoy watching zombie-bashing just as much as you do. The Walking Dead series captured my affection when they had the episode with the gang toughs taking care of the old folks in the nursing home. That's when they departed from the standard storyline and became interesting! I must say that the kid really annoys me though!
ReplyDeleteAlmond scented animals, fresh flowers, clean sheets and zombies...I think that sounds like a rather perfect evening to me!
ReplyDeleteYou are keeping him from slipping into fuddy-duddyhood. That's what I frequently tell myself Miss Chef's crazy life is doing for me.
ReplyDeleteFox and Sparrow
ReplyDeleteyES I like TWD VERY MUCH..it's a disaster movie with zombies... hope it doesnt walk the path of the novel and kills off nearly EVERYONE
YP
we did our "courting " over at Chatsworth and I love the place too. although I hated the documentary.. very bland and soapish
Opposites attract they say :O)
ReplyDeleteI'd say you are the 'spark' in Chris's world..
ReplyDeleteYour relationship reminds me of my grandparents ( both long gone ), my gran was always the "go on have a little go" type, never read the rules, just made her own up as she went along, swore like a sailor on shore leave.
Grandad, not a hair out of place, nose always stuck in a newspaper or book. An officer who served with the Gurkhas wouldn't say "shit" if his life depended on it.
I loved being in their quirky midst ;)
~Jo
At least you made the effort John. Now back to slobbery! Yay!
ReplyDeleteOh how you make me laugh and groan at the same time! I am not sure who I laugh at and what makes me groan or even the other way round!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help it - I smiled through the first part then LOL'd - loudly - at Chris' sleepy comment!!!
ReplyDeleteNancy in Iowa
I just love it when you write CHATSWORTH. This town of the same name has no such cliam to fame.
ReplyDeleteChicken shit on our counter top too. In tough times we've been known to use it as croutons. All organic don't you know
Smiling loudly. How did you stop Albert farting?
ReplyDeleteI think our natural state is to be childlike.
ReplyDeleteIt might be worse - he could be living with a zombie!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a great match!
ReplyDeleteHaha. I love that saying, too.
ReplyDeleteHave a great Wednesday!
I love a little Walking Dead.... and hey you got your first edition copy of my book if I ever write one...I promise... but I want yours too. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteGrowing up is so overrated!!
ReplyDeleteI keep meaning to tell you that my hubby has a client with two bulldogs. I saw them the other day and thought of you. xoxox
Poor Chris,
ReplyDeleteBut then I guess he'd miss the mayhem if you weren't around!
Let's paraphrase JFK: "Don't ask what you can do for Chris, ask what Chris can do for you."
ReplyDeleteLoosen up for starters, that's what. Give him my love. I don't mind if he rejects it. Means you can have a double helping. And remind him: It takes two to make up a bed. Even if only one of you lies in it and the other revisits his youth.
Fragrantly yours,
U
Gotta have a daily dose of gore and mayhem. It wouldn't be the same without it.
ReplyDeleteGotta have a daily dose of gore and mayhem. It wouldn't be the same without it.
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