Two score years and ten

Student days- 21 years old....it's another life away

In a few weeks time I will be fifty.
Fifty!
Where has the time gone?
When I think about what has happened to me in my adult life, I honestly find it rather hard to remember what happened when and what happened to whom !
I lived and worked in York for several years
I hardly recall doing so now
I invested 5 years in a somewhat disastrous and abusive relationship
Apart from the occasional snippet, I remember little about that too!
When I try and look backwards it seems like long periods of my life are now almost unreal...
It's as though I am looking back at a movie through gauze or something.
Its a funny feeling.


People that figured so importantly in my life have long since gone. 
It is almost 30 years since I last saw my grandmother
It's 23 years since my father died.
I have not seen an old friend from Cambridge in 10 years.
She's bloody 70 years old now!
Where does the time go?


My brother in law came to help me the other day, when the exhaust fell off the berlingo
He helped me as he has always done, and I all I saw was the young happy-go-lucky chap, that I have always known.
Funny that I didn't really notice that he is almost a pensioner now, with arthritic shoulders and greying hair.
I suspect that he still sees me as the slightly awkward teenager with high colour and bad dress sense 


Now don't get me wrong, I am not sad when I think about all this..
I am just mildly surprised.
I am nearly 50