Rudeness, unhappiness or Cruelty?

Thursday's are recycle day here in Trelawnyd.

We have a whole plethora of overlarge sacks in which we have to divide our tins, plastics and what-not, and have been given strict instructions to have the whole shebang out on the road by 7 am for collection.

If we forget to separate our colours from the whites so to speak, the wrath of Flintshire County Council will be upon us... but that's another story.

No, I was thinking of our principle refuse collector this morning. He is a fairly morose man who can come across as rather rude. A couple of years ago, by way of a small bribe, I offered him a few eggs as he loaded up an extra large load from us and after looking at me briefly he just shook his head saying a somewhat brusque "no".

Now was he being rude... well yes I think he was.......Did he mean to be rude? ...well perhaps not...but immediately I had ticked the box that had him forever down as a rude old git who refused my kind offer of  box of eggs.

We are all too quick to take umbrage when we feel slighted or insulted and bloody hell I am the worst culprit of this affliction, as I can take a slight rebuff or rude comment very much to heart,  but I must admit, the older I get the more pragmatic I try to be when dealing with it all.

Instead of festering, I tend to now challenge "rude" behaviour at source. The biochemist at work with the unfortunate telephone manner was challenged with an assertive "Have I done something to upset you?" and a family acquaintance who became rather po faced at the pub was faced with a jolly but pointed "THAT sounded rather rude!"

Both reacted in a rather surprised manner, as they had no real awareness that they were being perceived as being rude.....one was having a shit morning.. the other was just a bit of an eccentric....conflict diffused!

I worked with a psychologist who was very good at doing this...... "Reflect the anger right back at them " she used to say "do NOT take it away with you!"

However, some mischievous people simply like being rude. To them, the throwing in a of a "grenade" so to speak , is sport to enjoy.Thankfully there are not many of these around, the criminal, legal and psychiatric system has hoovered many of them up and in my experience these people tend to be overly bright, overly bored and at times overly unhappy

My mother could be incredibly rude.  and her rudeness was wrapped up with depression, too much gin and a great unhappiness and bitterness about her life. This is the most terrible of all rude behaviours to deal with, I think, as the very thing that she needed ie. the warmth of relationships was the very thing her off hand nature disallowed her from experiencing....

anyhow I digress

The refuse lorry has just been past the cottage..... I went out to the back wall and gave the stony faced collector a cheerful wave.

Surprisingly........ I got one back!

Anyhow I will leave you on a positive note, here is "Kentucky" the hen that was dropped off in the bucket a few days ago. She is bright, bouncy and incredibly tame, and has joined the older hens in their coop without a problem........