One of the buff orpington's has an impacted crop.
I have tried the usual instillation of oil and have tried to massage the mass away but still the obstruction remained, so I asked animal helper Pat to come around to help me try shift the blockage with some brisk physiotherapy.
She arrived dressed in her scruffs (believe me it can be a very messy job) and as I came out of the cottage to meet her around 30 professional ramblers strode into view from around the lane corner.
I am well used to ramblers.
The cottage lies on a published "walk" so come rain and come shine, long lines of walking "geeks" often march by, all dressed in their designer Berghaus clothing and sporting the obligatory ski pole walking sticks.
|Pat (right) with daughter Joanne|
As it turned out this group hailed from the city of Liverpool, and after a quick scan I had the impression that all were in their late 60s and early 70s and probably all belonged to a walking club. Before Pat and I could make a break for the field, the group crowded around and amid a flurry of questions, I was asked if I had eggs for sale.
I only had half a dozen in the kitchen, so I instructed the walkers to wait and I went into the field to collect as many as I could find.. When I returned I had around two dozen eggs in the bowl and customers for at least double that, and that was when the arguments started.
At first I just thought the bickering between the three elderly ladies was just high spirits, a bit of theatrical banter between friends, how wrong was I? In seconds the three were screaming at each other about who was next in the queue, so much so, I honestly thought that the ski sticks might have been brought into play.
"Derek! Der--ek" the most aggressive of the crumblies kept yelling to her slightly embarrassed hubby
"Derek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do something!!!!!!! we were first we were f i rs t!!!"
The whole situation had become rather surreal
" I don't know who was first" I said helplessly to the sea of grey hairs, woolly hats and designer jackets
"you all look the same""
The bickering continued
I couldn't quite believe my ears, so finally I placed the eggs on the wall and said in my best patronising voice "You just have to share them between you" and I strode off to join an astonished Pat who had walked away in disgust.
"Did you hear all that?" I asked her"yes" she said " shaking her head, and ever the pragmatist, she added....." you should have charged them all double!"