Thursday, 29 December 2011

Pretty Bollocks


When I was growing up in the seventies, it was the Roger Moore Bond movies that thrilled and entertained us. Fast paced,and  with a plot line that would not tax the average twelve year old....they were full of exciting set pieces, exotic locations, busty sex objects and gadgets galore.....so it was much amusement and nostalgia that I enjoyed the 2011 reincarnation of say Live and Let Die in the modern day guise of Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol.
OK everything in MI4 is bigger, better and more polished than any Bond that I remember but the essential premise is exactly the same....
It's all flash, bang, wallop!
The Lovely Mr Renner
......The set pieces ( a tense standoff in the tallest skyscraper in the world -the Burj Khalifa in Dubai during a sandstorm and the bombing of the Kremlin) being just two of several standout sequences, where the bland Eithan Hunt (Tom Cruise) struts his box office pleasing invincible stuff.

This time Hunt's team is pared down to just three. A busty platonic Amazon (Paula Patton), a friendly geek (Simon Pegg) and all American Jock-with-a-past (Jeremy Renner)  (right) and
Of course they have only a few hours to save the world, which they do ingeniously and with some style and excitement.......
It's all bollocks...certainly it is... but it is entertaining, enjoyable and satisfying bollocks.......
8/10

Pretty but Dull- Lady Mary and the floppy haired Mathew Crawley

.......and talking of enjoyable bollocks.....This morning I actually made the effort  and watched the
Downton Abbey  Christmas "Special" Now....despite my scathing  criticism of the lacklustre second series... this two hour Edwardian romp finally showed it's dramatic backbone  which echoed writer Julian Fellow's cinematic period piece....the glorious Gosford Park, and provided an enjoyable Yultide story!
At last we saw dull Lady Mary ( who should have "had a canary Up the leg of her draws!") getting all romantic with the beautiful Mathew while Maggie Smith chewed the scenery like a good'un
Like Mission Impossible 4, Downton is generally good looking frothy bollocks........it's pretty to look at and it's easy on the brain......
just what you need on a wintry, cold and blustery day!


21 comments:

  1. I've seen that photo of Tom Thumb before and apparently he does his own stunts in this movie! It really just doesn't look like him at all though! Is it him? Tom Thumb?

    I saw the second film at the flicks - MI:2, which I thought would be a blast as MI:1 was great but it turned out to be complete shite too much Tom Thumb creative input.

    Plus, since I'm on a rant-roll here, there's been so much 'easy on the brain' stuff going down on the box this Chrimbo, my old grey matter is beginning to look like what's left of the turkey!

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  2. Chris
    I would recommend mission Impossible though tom thumb without his shirt looks VERY odd indeed....

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  3. "They're nut crackers. We thought you might like to crack your nuts with them!!" xx

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  4. I was once in a lift with Tom Cruise at The Dorchester. A very short man.

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  5. I never have been a fan of the Mission: Impossible flicks. I doubt I'll see this one.

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  6. Oh dear John, it makes my watching DVD's of the first Forsyth Saga with Nyree Dawn Porter and Kenneth More sound a bit dated. That is my escapism on cold wintry days at present.

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  7. Kali and I saw MI4 over the weekend and were sorely disappointed. You're right, John: it's all showy, glitzy pablum. The problem is, that's all it is. The story is so absolutely outrageous that there's no basis in reality. What's the point of a story when there's no grounding in reality--none whatsoever? And I've had it with endings like the MI4 ending. (I won't give it away, but you know what I mean.) We liked MI1 and MI2, MI3 was tolerable, but this was off the charts silly. Jeremy Renner's contribution was the only thing that made the film watchable. Here endeth the rant.

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  8. jeremy Renner is cute as a button!

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  9. Hollywood doesn't make films, it simply strings together ingredients from a list given to them by the accountants. There's the "aaaaaarrgggh" moment, usually where arms and legs are flailed as the protagonists out-run an explosion. For "blockbuster" success it must also be combined with the "sliding down a chute" scene. And the "you can easily dodge a hail of bullets by ducking, provided that you are a good guy". Can't forget that. Then there must be the scene where the two adults that the children always knew would get together actually do get together and everyone laughs about it.

    Contemptuous? Moi?

    Oh - and the scene where some poor civilian tries to slow down their car from an insane twenty or even twenty-five miles an hour, usually for several miles of swerving, ending with their running away from the parked car (carrying the orphans and the nice nun) just before it too spontaneously explodes and all local traffic diverts into it followed by a fuel tanker and a Ford Pinto.

    Pah!

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  10. Thank goodness for mindless fluff on TV.

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  11. haven't seen either.....

    Gill in Canada

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  12. ian
    I am a total film snob... but sometimes.... its nice just to sit back and enjoy the cinematic version of macaroni cheese

    traditional, slightly boring.... and easy to get down!

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  13. We saw Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol this past week at an Imax theatre in California. As long as you were not really expecting anything resembling reality, and with all the special effects, that would be how to see it. On a three story large screen.

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  14. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I can't wait! Which movies have you given a 10/10 so far?

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  15. Hope you all have a great weekend, John!

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  16. Can't stand "action" movies. Take The Bourne series...Part One was OK....lovely brooding Matt Damen..then he does it again THREE TIMES...mostly car chases and screeching tires/tyres..enough!!!
    Jane x
    PS I dislike Tome Cruise....he really needs an orthodontist.

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  17. Oh my Jeremy Renner....I like him so!!!!!

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  18. rented the MI1 and thought it was a load of codswallop, do didn't bother with any of the sequels. I never did like Tom Cruise, as all he ever seemed to do in any movie he was in was to smile, wiggle his arse, and in action films, grimace from time to time. What can i say? He's just not my type; and i'm sure he's crying all the way from the box office to the bank.

    I prefer a good story to good special effects any day, although if period pieces are done well, I can forgive a light story line.

    megan

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  19. Mindless action movies are made for Christmas; so much more sincere than feelgood sitcoms or tight knit family reality. Total bollox are easier on the brain. Long live the spectacular testicular.

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  20. We envy you who are in the UK who got a new episode of Downton Abbey for Christmas. We'll have to search YouTube for this one because Season 2 is just airing on our Public Broadcasting stations here in the US. We cheated and found it all on YouTube already. As for most Hollywood flicks, Ho-Hum.

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