It was all quite simple....
It was an accident that anyone could have had
I was clearing up the dog snot from the front room ( In readiness for the mother-in-law's visit on Thursday)
When I heard the unmistakable screaming of a rabbit coming from the front garden
(For those that have been lucky enough not to have heard a rabbit in distress... believe me, you ARE lucky)
Through the window I caught a glimpse of Albert throttling a young rabbit and without much thought decided to climb out to rescue it ( what's with this bloody urge to save the world?)
In my stocking feet I climbed onto the window ledge opened it and with the grace of Shelley Winters sliding down the deck of the S.S Poseidon flung myself into the garden.
It all went wrong after that.
My trouser leg caught on the window catch.
The top half of my body crashed onto a selection of potted plants,
slowly followed ( like some sort of "fat" avalanche) by my legs and feet.
It was raining, I had no shoes on and in the ungainly scrabble that followed I broke two planters, flattened a nice display of nicotiana flowers, ripped my pants and broke my toe.
The rabbit died
But is Albert OK?
ReplyDeleteOuch! I admire your gallant effort to try to save the bunny.
ReplyDeleteI shouldn;t be laughing...but I am. The visual of that sequence of events John!
ReplyDeleteI do hope your poor toe is ok...what a bother.
I have heard a rabbit in distress. My friends bunny was taken by a fox in the middle of the night and the entire neighborhood was woken...it almost sounded like a child....shudder.
I broke mine six weeks ago....I think that is three times for the same little toe. I was picking up dog poop and starting running (in slippers) after a chippy who was eating my swiss chard!
ReplyDeleteThere is more dog poop on the ground now, the chippy got away and has had more wonderful meals in the meantime, and, the toe is doing fine. Well...better anyway!
Sorry to hear that, John. It must be so painful! (Sorry, but I too have to admit to a giggle when I read the post!)
ReplyDeleteBrings to mind Don Quixote tilting at drain pipes and flower pots to save the poor rabbit. Wounds of war John...
ReplyDeleteOuch - John sounds like that little bunny died of fright when he saw you parachuting through the window. Poor little toe though. Go Gently x
ReplyDeleteOh Dear! Broken toes are most painful, I know from personal experience, and I'm sorry to say but I must warn you that the ensuing arthritis that results later in life from such a foot/toe injury is not pleasant either!
ReplyDeleteoh you little ray of sunshine johnx
ReplyDeleteOMG. Hilarious! sorry.. xo
ReplyDeleteRest.Ice. Compression. Elevation.
ReplyDeletePoor bunny.
You are a lovely man for the valiant effort. I'm not laughing . . . very loud.
You've been on the booze again haven't you !
ReplyDeletePoor rabbit....
Sorry to tell you, it takes ages for them to heal, chin up !
~Jo
A day in the life...
ReplyDeleteLook on the bright side. At least you didn't have to feed the cat, John.x
for the rest of the people on here,in all corners of the world.... i saw John today to give him a carton of eggs box...(he needs them !)......my daughter was in the front room and called me from the kitchen to let me know that he had passed the house ( she often does this)....my wife had bought some eggs from Tesco and we had a carton in the kitchen ( i knew they needed to go to John)....anyway, about two minutes had passed since my daughter had called ( iwas making bread at the time and it was an important stage ).....so i put on my shoes and headed out into the garden and onto the road.....he wasnt far away....so i called him ....as he turned and walked back down the road to collect the box , it took me back to a school moment....a man who took the "whole of school photograph" many years ago...by this i mean when everyone in school had their photograph taken ( ie 1600 pupils )en masse...this man had the oddest of walks,almost painful to watch..... in fact it is one of the most abiding memories from school as a guy on the row behind me shouted "he looks like he has stashed a toblerone up his arse and someone has asked him to bounce !".....that summed up Johns walk ! though having read the thread now, i see what he was actually suffering from.....Now some may not know what a toblerone is, its a chocolate bar....the funniest thing would be to google a toblerone and see the shape !
ReplyDeletejason
ReplyDeletelol with the pain I am in at the moment I would swap a broken tow for a toblerone up me arse!
I mean toe
ReplyDeleteGood grief, what a disaster. Poor you. I hope it gets better soon.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this post and the subsequent comments, I think I'm going to have nightmares tonight, all about screaming rabbits, broken toes, and toblerones protruding from between butt cheeks :S
ReplyDeletei am sorry for making you turn around !! a man in that kind of pain needs to live his in straight lines....with nobody allowed to call his name
ReplyDeleteI coped with your thoughtlessness j!
ReplyDeletex
No video?
ReplyDeleteOh dear, and all for nought. I know I shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it!
ReplyDeletejust a fat bruise
ReplyDeleteand I AM NOT reenacting it for anyone!!
Mercy me John. Well you get points for trying to save the bunny! :O). I am very sorry you have broken your toe. OUCH!
ReplyDeleteLol. Sorry. Hope your toe heals quickly, John.
ReplyDeleteIs Albert in the dog house, so to speak, over this?
No laughing here..I'm far too aware this sounds like something I have done/will do.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I know I'm supposed to be empathizing right now, but I can't stop laughing at your description...
ReplyDeleteWell, OK. OW! Hope you're foot is better soon.
I am glad you are okay...I am snickering a little bit...sorry. Sounds so much like something I would do!
ReplyDeleteIf it's any consolation, rabbits are very tender and easily injured so you probably could not have saved it anyway.
Holy shit, that was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteAnd so tragic. :(
those poor plants :(
ReplyDeleteRegarding the town of Guion...the railroad's conductor was JH Guion.
ReplyDeleteI love you John...
ReplyDeleteGet some arnica John it will help the healing go faster.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your toe, I have broken both baby toes on separate occasions, so I understand your pain.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the rabbit too :(
Did the bunny get away? Don't answer that - I probably don't want to know.
ReplyDeleteI propose we all buy a toblerone and consume said toberlone at exactly the same time. In tribute to our John!
ReplyDeleteOUTCH !!!!!! I can almost see this as a Sunday morning cartoon.
ReplyDeleteSorry John, you will laugh about it in a year or 2. Heal well.
Sue.M
Yikes.... NOT THE FEET!!!
ReplyDeleteIt was a heroic try even if the bunny did die.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a right pain in the arse... or am I thinking of the Toblerone?
ReplyDeleteWould you like to get more visitors from London?
ReplyDeleteSubmit your blog in zeole.com/london . This is a one time submission. This would automatically submit a preview of your future blog posts in London, with a link back to your blog.
Enjoy more traffic from London :-)
Oh God, were we meant to laugh?
ReplyDeleteGet Well Soon.
So the rabbit died? Congratulations! A Spring baby is a blessing.
ReplyDeletem.
Clumsy bugger...ruining the planters!
ReplyDeleteJane xx
Sorry John but I had to laugh reading this from my Cyprus sunbed!!
ReplyDeleteJane x
Now John...even though you are in pain..I know you find great humor in how you broke that toe (except for the screaming rabbit). What a day! I hope you feel better soon. Look on the bright side...at least you did not end up like the rabbit.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the bunny and your foot. Looks painful...
ReplyDeleteDo you get 'pity-love' from your honey? My honey always gives me 'pity-love' - it almost makes the injury worth it!
Farmer
So, is rabbit on the menu tonight? Why are rabbit's feet "lucky" anyway? *shiver* on the rabbit cry. Thank you John for trying to save him. I salute you.
ReplyDeleteSuper John to the rescue!
ReplyDeleteOh, poor John!
ReplyDeleteI must confess, my mind went more like Mark Himes' way of thinking, only i thought, 'Well, at least he's not pregnant.' LOL
I have broken my toes, tis quite painful. Keep your leg elevated as much as you can, walk on your heel more, and tape the broken digit to the next one to help with splinting. A wad of cotton between will reduce chafing. Good Lord, why am i explaining this to a nurse???
Oh, and yes, i've heard rabbits give that cry. In my experience, when you hear that cry, it's too late to do anything, as by the time you reach them, they're usually beyond our help. Even if it's a beeline to them, never mind the out-the-window-catch-on-something-arse-over-tits option.
Heal, John the dogs!
megan
Klutzes of the world, unite! (At least your heart was in the right place.)
ReplyDeleteOw ow ow! Poor bunny, poor toe, poor you!
ReplyDeleteOh dear, you have my sympathy - I broke mine on Monday, while rushing to feed our dogs!
ReplyDeleteRidiculously painful, for such a small injury - and so frustrating! I hope the swelling and pain are diminishing.
Sorry to hear about your toe but I had to laugh!
ReplyDeleteOoh matron, that looks sore!
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh tho at "I was clearing up the dog snot from the front room ( In readiness for the mother-in-law's visit"
i know that scenario only too well LOL
You teased with "fat avalanche" then had me at "The rabbit died."
ReplyDeleteMan, can you write John! Brilliantly funny. Thanks.