Growing up clumsy

As a child I was always falling over. Consistently I would be the kid that banged his head on the corner of a fence, drop something breakable and splatter my jumper with the remnants of my breakfast, lunch and dinner!

It was a "given" that at least once a day, something destructive would happen.

Typical of the time, I was diagnosed by my mother as being a clumsy boy. I was a " klutz ", "awkward" and "stupid", and every time I would clatter untidily down a staircase or walk into a door, she would always sigh in that overly dramatic way of hers, as if to say, "There he goes again"
Today, I am sure, I would be diagnosed as being slightly dyspraxic
for my childhood clumsiness has indeed never left me.Only yesterday when I was clearing out ash from the log burner, I couldn't quite fill the rubbish bag without staining the carpet with ash and the day before the flower show I burnt the back of my hand when bumping into hot crockery!



That burn that caused me to curse myself,just like the way my mother used to do!
"Stupid boy!" ( or words to that effect)............strange that!
Last night I went to see the Spanish thriller Julia's Eyes at Theatre Clwyd. (don't bother going to see it...it's dreadful!)
It's summer season time, so the Theater itself is all but deserted as only the tiny cinema is open.

I bought myself a coffee, so arrived slightly late, but as I always sit in the same seat ( how f*cking sad is that?) I tip toed past the small audience and promptly went flying over my feet down the aisle slashing hot coffee all over the wall whilst shouting out "oh bloody hell!!"

A couple of people sniggered when I wiped up the mess with the sleeve of my coat, and red faced and still clutching a quarter inch of coffee in the paper cup I tried to look invisible for the rest of the film.....
Postscript:This morning I have just delivered eggs to a woman in the village with strawberry jam from by breakfast all down the front of my jumper!

I am a classy date