I hurried outside to find no 21 (aka Margie) scattering quail and frizzle cockerels in all directions as she blundered into their runs after mouthfulls of corn.
It was a fairly good natured raid this time.....she was more interested in the corn rather than ripping the back end from any passing chicken, and within a few minutes of guiding her around the field (watched by a few passing villagers), she returned reluctantly to her enclosure.
In the blazing heat of the afternoon, I nailed foot boards to the pig enclosure and was just ambling back to the cottage when a police car pulled up at the gate.
Out stepped the biggest policeman I have EVER seen in my life. His arms looked as thick as my waist and covered in tattoos and even though I don't think I have have ever done anything illegal in my life...I suddenly felt very guilty and.......very puny!!
The policeman was as affable as he was large.......he introduced himself as Gareth and asked if I was Dr Burton!
I told him that I was Dr Burton's partner and the policeman informed me that Chris' motorbike had been found in nearby Prestatyn! I had not even noticed that it had been stolen!
As Gareth with the muscles professionally completed his paperwork, a neighbour called over
"I see you've sorted out the PIG!"
I froze as the Policeman stiffened slightly at the remark and found myself babbling away like a baby
"It's my pig he's referring to.......nothing else..he's not talking about you....!!!! she escaped a few minutes ago and tried to eat my quail!!!
I had to chase her around the field"
I lapsed into silence and giggled inanely
The policeman carried on with his notes
Good thing is that the motorcycle is OK, the quail is OK, and #21 is locked up safely. But how are you John.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it about policemen that send us all into guilty reflections of everything we've ever done wrong in our lives? This one, however, sounds like a hunk...tatoos and all.
ReplyDeleteThat make me spurt out a mouhthful of coffee! I can just imagine the burly copper and the pig remark. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteI can just see you going all weak at the knees, you big girls blouse, you!
Your life is never dull.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing you weren't cleaning out the pig's FILTH!
ReplyDeleteHasn't she grown.
ROFL ROFL ok that really made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteCrazy about the motorbike being stolen. I'm really glad they already found it!
ReplyDeleteHaha. I hope the officer eventually had a chuckle, too.
Oh dear oh dear, that had me laughing out loud!
ReplyDeleteOh my! That's the kind of scene we usually only see in movies! :D
ReplyDeleteAnd your friend may have ruin your chance of having a romantic dinner with a muscle cop! ;)
Classic timing or what! Love it.
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteTwo things:-
ReplyDelete1) I am guessing that big, burly Gareth has now replaced Charlie as your all-time favourite policeman. Perhaps you should invite Gareth back for tea and scones when Chris is away some time. Does he have a snout and bristles? (Gareth NOT Chris)
2) As villagers are in the habit of watching live animal dramas on your property, isn't it time you set up a little grandstand and sold tickets?
John, that is so funny, glad to hear that all is well now. Love your postings each day and look forward to reading them all.
ReplyDeleteMarie
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ReplyDeleteactually charlie is still my fav cop
muscle men just intimidate me......I was waiting for his uniform to rip like something out of the hulk
That was a genuine laugh out loud moment!
ReplyDeleteDidn't I read recently that policemen are to be encouraged to expose their tattoos to show they are just like everyone else. Not like me they're not!
Ha ha, when you described the policeman I thought he was going to be a stripogram!
ReplyDeleteI was holding my breath after the neighbor mentioned PIG, and thinking well that's John's 'LOT' next blog post will be from the pokie :)
ReplyDeleteWhere is Margie going to be living now she is a permanent resident of the cottage ?
~Jo
I'll be passing this story along to my soon-to-be husband ... also a large tattooed Po-po. I've been known to make a few bacon jokes as well.
ReplyDeleteOnly you John...only you! Hysterical!
ReplyDeleteA tattooed policeman? my favourite kind :-D
ReplyDeleteYou do see life down there John - there never seems to be a dull moment. Maybe that is because you take great bites at it though.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Never a dull moment.
ReplyDeleteNow, what I want to know is what did Chris say about not even noticing the motorbike was stolen.
Sincerely though, I do hope there was no damage done.
And John...next time Ofc. Gareth comes by, some photos for your readers would be greatly appreciated.
Ta!
meggs.xx
There's probably a lengthy 'file' on you now John at the local constabulary.
ReplyDeleteJust another uneventful day in the life of JG! lol.
Oops !!!!!
ReplyDeleteToo funny! For some reason, policemen never make me feel nervous, but taking money out of my own darned bank account always makes me feel like I'm robbing the place. Hopefully, "your" officer had a good sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI dont think he noticed
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely hilarious and such wonderful timing!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove this!!!! Amazing how 'tongue tied' one becomes at just the 'wrong' moment!!
ReplyDeleteIsn't that always the way...of course the Police want us to feel that way so we'll behave ourselves! I'm so out of touch I didn't even know folks were still calling policemen PIGS (so surprised at Gareth's reaction)! So happy the pig in question did no harm to other livestock...some pigs will eat meat though...human as well as animal! I agree that you should sell tickets to your live stock extravaganzas and I too would like to see a photo of Officer Gareth (muscles and tats) if he ever (has to) return! :)
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA!!! Nice timing on the neighbour's part. And glad the motorbike was found.
ReplyDeleteGood one!
ReplyDeleteI told my kids if they got a tatoo I would remove it with a fork..I think if that policeman was my kid I would need a huge fork. (I would never do that but it's a good threat.) This is just like you to make me laugh, you have the best adventures..
ReplyDeleteHave a Tiggeriffic Day~! ta ta for now from Iowa:)
What a great way to end off a day -- with a snort and a giggle (mine not yours). I'd like a bit more description of this burly, tatooed Gareth.
ReplyDeleteTalk about putting your foot in it!
ReplyDeleteOh dear! HA HA! Margie is looking very well and very beautiful! My lady says she wishes we had good-looking policemen named Gareth in her village. xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI never said he was good looking
ReplyDeletevery funny. I have a hankering for piggies.
ReplyDeleteThat is one of the funniest stories I have EVER heard!
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ReplyDeleteSoooooo funny, I just burst out laughing here at the library! I can totally picture you stammering about in front of the hunky Gareth.hehe. SO, was Chris's bike hurt? I guess even in quiet little burghs there is crime. Darn criminals.
ReplyDeleteJohn: I am SO glad that I stumbled onto your blog. You have a wonderful sense of humor, and I love hearing about your exploits and those of your animals and neighbors. I think I'd like to live in a small, tightly knit town like yours; I currently live on a very large piece of property in the suburbs of Philadelphia on the East Coast of the United States; I feel very isolated and alone in my situation. It would be nice to feel that I'm part of a community, which currently i do not. (Of course, when I hear my neighbor's dog barking incessantly, I'm glad his house is 1/4-mile away rather than immediately adjacent to my yard.)
ReplyDeletethats very kind of you to say scott
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