This brief and somewhat too broad editorial was highlighted on the BBC news website a day or so ago
Straight men should kiss each other more to understand homosexuality, Simon Pegg says.
The married actor said that homophobia comes from a fear of the unknown.
He told Glamour: “I’ve never been homophobic and I like flirting with gay guys; they’re easier to flirt with than women. I flirt with my gay friends quite happily, even in front of my wife. They like it if you are a bit cheeky and touchy-feely; it’s fun and more slapstick.
“Once I had to kiss three guys; real full-on snogs. I think every man should snog another man. A kiss is so much more than physical touching; we laughed about it at the time, but there was no passion.
“It would help them understand. Homophobia’s all about fear of the unknown, like it’s something you could catch. But it’s not a choice, it’s biological.”
I found this piece interesting not because of straight Pegg's comments on kissing gay men...no, it got me to thinking about how the behaviour of "men kissing men" has actually changed over the last decade or so.
Now I grew up in the 1970s where the North Wales coast was (and is) a million miles away from the Mediterranean lands where demonstrative papas kissed the foreheads of their sons at the dinner table. I actually remember kissing my father just the once when I was an adolescent, and that was a peck on the cheek after he had bought me and my sister an austin 1300! ( GDM 744K)
It was just not done.
Today, things ARE different, and it is refreashing to see men, that are secure in themselves, greeting other men with an unconcious peck or two. Of course all this has been always present in artistic circles (I have a lurvie darling mate that will pucker up at the drop of a hat), but I do see it creeping in within the blokey hetero world!
Mind you, I do find this man kissing thing all a bit difficult, I think my 1970 Welsh roots still govern this intimate show of affection in a rather negative kind of way...however....I do hug my male friends , but it is always in that casual lumberjack-ish way that you often see in American sit coms ( lots of back slapping and laughing!)
Recently I saw my brother-in-law kiss my brother on the forehead. It was one of those brief almost unnoticed acts of affection that said so much more than a wave or a hand shake.....and I remember cursing the difficulties I sometimes have kissing the people closest to me......
lesson to self......pucker up and get on with it!......mind you I may not start my journey into kissing men in greeting at the next Trelawnyd Community Council meeting.......There are farmers with guns on the committee!
Spring is almost here...you can almost smell it. The first of this year's broody hens have started to sit, and this sweet natured Light Sussex called Cora has walled herself up into the spare rabbit hutch on the field.
Broody hens can be a pain. Often they dont eat and drink for the three weeks of sitting, so need to be removed from their eggs twice a day and " encouraged" to feed and poo (Broody hens save up their poo for one HUGE dump a day).
Whenever possible it is important to break broodies by sin binning them ( a day or so in a crate where they cannot sit on eggs can help) but Cora was so gently insistent that she have her own eggs , I have relented , and left her well alone.
Chicks in three weeks perhaps?......more mouths to feed....my animal hoarding continues!
I'm going out in a mixed group tonight. I'll tell my husband he has to kiss the men on the cheek & give a little hug & not shake hands - my husband feels awkward even giving the women a peck so I can imagine the look on his face when I tell him !
ReplyDeleteI love seeing fathers kiss their sons when we are abroad - somehow it's just not British is it ? Shame.
I think it's linked in to the fact that, even these days, many men find it difficult to show their emotions and have often been brought up in the 'boys don't cry' mode. A lot of the male clients I see for counselling confirm me in that belief.
ReplyDeleteI think young girls should be encouraged to kiss old men in order to overcome their fear of aging, John.
ReplyDeleteActually, I once kissed Princess Diana's half-brother (he offered when leaving our house one Christmas) who was going out with a French gay friend of mine at the time. Beat that.
well tom if we are going to do the "out kissing compotition"
ReplyDeleteI once kissed Russell Crowe
ok it was a full sized cardboard cut out of him in full gladiator costume , but for a moment I could dream!
I hate kissing anyone but my wife and kids. In fact I'd rather kiss a male friend than a female one. To be honest I even struggle with hugging.
ReplyDeleteI kiss and hug my kids all the time though
It's not an emotions thing. It's a personal space thing.
Anyhow,last year my chickens were broody about 95% of the time. I'm surprised they even saw any daylight. The idiots.
Broodyness takes on a whole new set of problems when you have roosters though!
I'm planning on using that broodyness this year to get some ducklings though :)
RUSSELL BLOODY CROWE??! I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire.
ReplyDeleteI am going to insist that my husband starts kissing our son again - he seems to have stopped! xxxx
ReplyDeleteHow sensible of Cora to use the rabbit hutch to make her nest. When we kept chickens, free range, they hid away in bushes etc. We had to regularly hunt for them so preventing Mr. Fox from a tasty meal!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though (just for a change) I always hug and kiss my 18 year old grandson (not excessively). I have been doing that since he was one day old, and we both see no reason to stop now.
ReplyDeleteI must share with you a wonderful description which you probably already know, but it's new to me. I was discussing a mutual friend with someone, and the revelation that he was bi-sexual was disclosed to me. I said that I didn't know he was gay, and my friend said, "He helps out when they are short-handed".
Kissing men? A chap has to have a hobby...
ReplyDeleteBel as I recall you make the pastime morelike full time employment
ReplyDeletex
It is difficult to say what should or should not be done. I have difficulty showing affection so certainly would not kiss anyone unless it truly meant something.
ReplyDeleteHugs are much easier and convey many feelings without being as personal as a kiss.
Kissing air or hugging strangers may not be a tradition I embrace.
When I moved from England to Canada in the 70s, one huge difference was in the way men here (mostly of European heritage) embraced each other. Hubby and his mates would shake hands and hug...I could never have imagined my male friends in England doing this.
ReplyDeleteIt's all cultural, all just habits we have to change.
Nothing like a broody, insistent, mumma-to-be!
I love the way you care John.
I'm glad you explained about Cora. I thought perhaps she'd gotten herself stuck.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in the '50s, and no, I won't be just kissing anyone, sorry. Hugs, definitely!
But I have to admit, it was an interesting editorial!
I don't see a whole lot of men kissing men around here, I live in the Bible Belt - Oh they can whore around all they like, but kissing another man? Not macho (ie: Bubba-like)
ReplyDeleteSo, the sitting hens poo once a day, I think this would mean they could be potty trained! :-) Just saying...
Before you said about Cora, I thought she had been decapitated!
ReplyDeleteI think men should spend less time killing each other and more time kissing. The world would be a better place.
ReplyDeleteAnd you old softie, letting Cora brood! :)
men, men, men! oh, i wish they would just relax and just hug on stuff more! and giggle while they do it, LOL. so glad to hear you have a broody on hen on eggs! exciting. my chicks should hatch in 10 days. have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteNow if men were and had been taught to hug and kiss, they would! Our culture doesn't encourage this. I grew up up in a VERY un-touchy/un-kissy environment. But I found that I was a touchy/feeling person from day one.Where I learned this, I do not know. But it felt good. And much to the dismay of my parents at times, I didn't stop this and I remember even encouraging them to do it more often. Once when I was in the hospital when I was 12, I remember having to ask my Mom to kiss me before she left. Of course she did but it just never occurred to her. Guess she wasn't taught this as a child either. Too bad because I have found that the more we hug and kiss, the better we feel.
ReplyDeleteTime for us to all 'break' that stereotype in our culture that discourages men and women to be affectionate with one another!!
Such a lovely hen. I can't wait to see her chicks! It will almost be Spring then!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny ~ nobody bats an eyelash at two women hugging and giving a quick kiss in greeting or farewell. But two men???
I don't think it's as bad as it once was but I do believe there's still a LONG way to go.
I agree with Knatolee ~ 'm a hugger from way back . . . This video made me cry. It made me want to go out and give all my friends heartfelt hugs!
ReplyDeleteSee "FREE HUGS" ~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hN8CKwdosjE
Thanks for posting the video and your comments
ReplyDeleteI have seen it before its quite sweet isnt it
So many men, so little time...
ReplyDeleteYou can smell Spring there? It is just around the corner?! That's it. I'm gonna go rummage through boxes until I find my passport! Spring is still so far away here that I could CRY. That wench Mother Nature is going to give us 38F (4C) on Sunday, just to taunt us, because we KNOW Spring is far, far away. I'll have every window thrown wide open to enjoy the day. Mind you, it was -23F(-31C) the other morning, with a high for the day of -4(-20C).
ReplyDeleteDarn. Just found the Passport, and I'm not going anywhere except the renewal place. Sigh.
On a completely unrelated note, I took your Blogging request seriously, and I've been playing around with my old blog, dusting it off, sprucing it up, and trying to figure out the whole Blogger software program (It didn't have anywhere near this many features and options 2 years ago!) I had to laugh, because when I opened your blog today, I realized I picked the same background that you are currently using! It worked well with the picture I chose to use. (a picture which has nothing to do with the egg incubator; sorry Tom.) After looking through my Passport, I think I know what my first official "new" Blog post will be about. Cheers!
I was so distracted thinking about Spring, that I didn't even comment on the content! My Ex is from the "boys don't cry" school of thought, and he is, by his own admission an 'emotionally constipated individual', and that played a huge role in our difficulties. I was raised by my grandmother for the first 9 years of my life, and I was hugged and kissed and told how much I was loved every day. When I moved to my new family at the age of 9, it was into a sterile world, with little physical affection. I vowed that my son would never doubt if he was a person worthy of being loved. From the minute they placed him in my arms, he has been hugged, kissed, and told that he is loved. Even now, at 13, where it is all "mom, you're embarrassing me!" he gets an "I love you!" when I drop him off at school, and another after he gets into the car in the afternoon, as long as I do it out of earshot of "the guys" it is OK.
ReplyDelete...I don't know anything about men kissing men...but I do hope that my son kisses his sons...
ReplyDeleteChicks in three weeks!!!! I can hardly wait to see the little ones! There will be photos, please John!
Chicks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to try to be an old meanie this summer and not let any babies hatch! Do you think I can do it?? I don't! But I don't need more chickens!!!!! Congrats on the developing chickies, can't wait to see them!
ReplyDeleteI'll be looking for people kissing today! :D Good luck with your new kissing hobby! I will think of you if I actually do notice any kissing in public today as I run my errands!
~Lynn
Patterns of physical affection change so much from region to region. My own demonstrations have fluxed as I've moved from place to place. I just seem to adapt to whatever the natives seem to be doing. Idaho is full of men with guns btw...not a lot of man to man kissing going on around here. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI love the photo of Ms. Broody wedged into her crack like that. It doesn't look very comfortable, but perhaps she thinks it'll make it harder for you to drag her off and incarcerate her in a crate for a day? Really John. As a fellow mother I must object. :-)
I didn't think twice about it, it was an instinctive thing. Tim
ReplyDeleteand a nice thing too timothy!
ReplyDeleteI have a light sussex thats sitting on eggs and hissing at me!! do you seperate broodys from flock at night? im a little unsure of what to do?
ReplyDelete