All it would take is the removal of a few essential utilities
and wallop!
Back we go!
This morning our cold water pipes had frozen completely
and there was nothing more pathetic than the spectacle of two middle aged gay men in slightly muted hysteria worrying about having a hot bath before work ( Chris) or having their first cup of coffee of the day (me)
How the hell would we cope in a real disaster?
God knows?
Personally I always thought that if I was ever caught in a capsized passenger liner or a burning skyscraper on its inaugural opening..I would have the gumption and forethought to climb that 18 foot Christmas tree or to abseil down a shattered staircase with a child on my back!
hummm
The reality , me thinks would be a little different!
It all reminds me of a poem I read in school!
When in fear
and when in doubt.....
Run in circles............
Scream and shout!
hey ho
Anyhow, we jury rigged a hairdryer on an extension lead in the outhouse to thaw out the offending pipes and I dropped Chris off for his train just on time. He is working away overnight ( In Sheffield)...and is hoping to get back home tomorrow before the national transport infrastructure grinds to a total standstill because of the ice and snow.
The village has been without any post since Thursday due to the weather....Missing our village post office I rang another local post office to find out just why this is occurring....Apparently MR HEALTH AND SAFETY has reared its ugly head again and senior managers stated that it was too unsafe for posties to negotiate icy paths!...the clerk stated that I could drive the 10 mile round trip to collect my post in person and offered to give me the depot's telephone number to check on this.....
as I was searching for a pen, I put the phone down next to a snoring Constance and when I picked the receiver up again I hear the lady laughing
"what the hell was that?" she asked
"That is my bulldog....she has a breathing disorder" I explained!
"That's a shame " the lady quipped " I thought I was having my first dirty phone call!"
The post got through today by the way, the postmen themselves forced the issue and brought our cards on their own initiatives!
 |
| Ivy, Hughie and Alf feeling the cold on top of Jesus' run (for those that don't know, Jesus was the cockerel that was abandoned on the field last Christmas) |
 |
| One of the ghost hens facing the day. All three have not left their hen house since last week! |
I hope you get your pipes thawed soon. Similar happened to a friend of mine. I'd suggested using snow for water, but it seems that a lot of snow only amounts to a little bit of water, so keep up the good work with the hairdryer.
ReplyDeleteApart from the inconvenience for you pair, (even though it may have involved some hysteria ... I'm sure its easier to be swashbuckling and dynamic in warmer calamities) its a big deal for the animals. Hope you are sorted soon.
Hurray for the postmen and thanks for giving me my first hearty laugh of the day - from Constance.
I found that our two Khaki campbell ducks are more fond of peas than pasta right now - they're not too happy with the snow .. but are still laying a bit - brave girls.
There is nothing worse than having frozen pipes ~ we had that once and it was really bad.. Thank goodness the pipes didn't burst.
ReplyDeleteI have 6 gallons of water held in reserved just incase the electricity goes off.. No water and no using the bathroom. At least I can make coffee with my sterno stove and we can use the bathroom. Have to be prepared if one lives in the country.
Hope things warm up for you..we will be frozen popsicles until 1st of march..
ta ta for now from Iowa
annieptigger@aol.com
Your feathered friends get home-cooked Italian meals??? I believe that THEY may be the spoiled hens!!! Lucky them! Hang in there - the sun will surely warm things up eventually.
ReplyDeleteYou great big pansy! xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteI love it! I've had hysterics myself at being shut in with two special needs (one's has seperation issues and the other is just a twat!) dogs to talk to!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha...love the peak into your day. Beautiful birds!
ReplyDeleteWe have a set up of flood lights under the house, they are plugged into a device that is then plugged into the house wiring, when a sensor in the device says it is 35F it will turn on the power to the lights and they seem to keep it warm enough to keep the pipes from freezing. Last year, we had to put a small electric heater under the house and plug it into the device, worked fine, the lights are more energy efficient though. We have a lot of frozen pipes in our area, when people do not take precautions. Most of the houses are just set on foundations with crawl spaces. (Not fun)
ReplyDeleteYou asked me "this sounds like a stupid question but do u have private garbage men in the US?
u must have state employed council dustmen too?"
It seems different where ever you are. Some counties has dumps as well as garbage service on a weekly basis, that you pay with your water bill or gas bill each month. Some little towns do this too, but the pick up of garbage is usually bid on by the garbage collectors and lowest bid will get the job, by that city's council. We here, at our house, have our choice - have it collected once a week, by a small garbage pick-up business, or we can take it to a collection truck (from the county) that sits in certain areas a couple hours a week - this is free. The collector that comes right to the house or farm charges a fee that you pay quarterly or yearly. It has been slightly different wherever we have lived. Not sure, but think the only state employed, are the ones for the parks. I really don't know.
Glad you got your mail finally! That is one service that I really like! LOL! Gotta love that Constance!
my cousin is a plumber in Britain and he was saying he is rushed off his feet with repairing peoples plumbing.
ReplyDeleteThat Constance she is a woman of many talents.....
Gill in Canada
Loved Tracey's comment, as that is so Political Uncorrect!!!! She would be hung over here for saying that!!!
ReplyDeleteGill in Canada
Smart Chickens!
ReplyDeleteToday is the Winter Solstice...it's all up hill from here.
Hey HO!
If word balloons had emerged from the guinea fowls' beaks, it might have gone something like this:-
ReplyDeleteIVY It's ruddy parky today!
HUGHIE What did you think of the spaghetti bits the butler served up this morning?
ALF Cheap and bloody nasty! I bet it was from Poundstretcher.
IVY I prefer Waitrose myself.
HUGHIE Bit expensive there?
ALF A pack of wholemeal spaghetti is around a guinea.
IVY Foul!
HUGHIE What?
IVY Jesus just dropped one.
ALF No - it was Mary.
PUD...
ReplyDeleteyou just made my day
OMG! John you are so funny. I can just see the two of you running around trying to decide what to do about the water pipes. Have you not heard of letting the water drip on really cold nights to keep it from freezing? Love your poem. That would be me for sure.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to all of you.
Brrr....Chilly-looking Guineas!!! We used to have frozen pipes here in the "good old days" before our new wee house was built. The cabin pipes would freeze for several months each winter and my lady would get all her washing (dishes, clothes and people) water from the creek each day and heat it on the stove. She is glad she doesn't have to do that anymore.
ReplyDeleteIf the weather keeps up being so cold you may wish to have several jugs of water next to sinks and the loo in case you freeze up again. Then it won't seem so awful at first! I'm glad the postman got to you, finally! Whatever happned to "through rain, through snow, etc..." xxxx oooo
John, you crack me up as always. Sorry about the pipes but I can so see you two running around, fretting over the warm water situation. I’ve been there. We had 3 days with no electic last year--frozen water and no tv. The 3 most miserable days of the year. We went to bed at 5:30 as it was dark and there was NOTHING else to do wtihout light. I am such a wimp. I wanted my cable tv back more than anything-just for the noise. :) LOL
ReplyDeleteYou are such a good fowl dad...warm spaghetti is wonderful and I know they love you for it. Little Jesus’ namesake is perfect too :) LOL
Frozen toes and pipes are just memories for me now, John.
ReplyDeleteIronically, we have too much of the wrong sort of water and not enough of the kind we need.
Three days solid of torrential tropical rain has cut us off from the rest of the world. The town power always fails when it rains so there is no power for the water pump even if the water tankers could get through the floods.
My generator, having run more or less cosntantly for the last three years is now on its last legs and in any case, fuel for it cannot get through either so I have had to ration the hours it runs.
Still, all I have to do is swing a bucket down into the tank from which we can wash. At a push, I can use the rainwater that has collected in the pool In 30 degrees C temperature, it's no real hardship and every market round here sells charcoal and candles.
In conditions like yours, you would need crow bars or high explosives to get me out from under the duvet...
Still, I had some outstanding and very unexpected news, my Christmas present. After one year stuck in the Port of Luanda, my new generator has finally cleared Customs. Can you imagine, it took a year!
I asked when I could collect it and was told not to bother. With all the rain, it is bogged in so I will have to wait until after the rains to get it out. Ho Hum.
In a real emergency, by the way, I reckon you'd be a good bloke to have on side. It is the compassionate who in an emergency stop thinking of themselves and get stuck in helping others and the strutting cockerels that usually end up running around the yard like headless chickens.
Believe me, I have seen the best and the worst in people and sometimes it is a real surprise to see who actually came through with the goods when needed.
FERRIS:I love khakis!
ReplyDeleteANNIE: I'll try noy to moan
RICH;BELIEVE IT!
TRACEY; you tw*T XX
FRUGAL; I know exactly what u mean!
SHARON; GOOD REPLY X
GILL; you get used to it lol
BEV; I'LL try this! ta x
amy; lol
HIPPO TOM; I WOULD BEVER BE paul newman in a disaster movie more like a red buttons
8
a white, frozen Christmas? kiss for Constance.
ReplyDeletebrrrrr sorry to hear of all your cold weather and the issues its bringing!
ReplyDeleteLast winter I whined till even I was sick of it over our weather. I could relate then. Knocking on wood we are not seeing that again this year!
I so hope your weather warms up where all utilities, plumbling and services are back in working order and stay that way!
PS I cook lentils and mung beans for our girls sometimes, they love them. Blanch dried beans in boiling water for 5 minutes, drain cool. I read somewhere it was good for them so I figured why not!
ReplyDeleteThat was a good one John...I almost choked on my Cheese Puff! Sounds as though the lady was disappointed that the strange noise was coming from the dog and not you ;) Glad you finally got your mail...good for the postmen!!! John I think if you were in a disaster situation and had to run for it you'd have Boris thrown over one shoulder and either a hen or another dog over the other. You'd do just fine I bet. :) Hope your day has been a good one.
ReplyDeleteMaura :)
Smart Ghost Hens!!
ReplyDeleteJim
John, I'm really sorry. I know it was wrong to laugh all the way through that. Infact that piece will probably keep me smiling for a few days. You need to contact Channel 4 - your life would make great reality TV. xxxx
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I wish I was one of your critters! You feed them so well.
ReplyDeleteJim
Those Guinea hens look like little vultures, all huddled up like that. I never heard of giving pasta to chickens for warmth and energy. Sounds like a good idea to me.
ReplyDeleteWe're fortunate here. The electricity practically never goes out, and our pipes are buried deep enough so that they don't freeze. Ahh, the benefits of Suburbia. Because, I'm with you, in a real emergency, I'd be the one sitting in a corner and whining.
Who knew chickens ate spaghetti!
ReplyDeleteDiane,
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more about the reality series. I have tried to persuade John to at least post audio of him reading his posts, a suggestion he has evidently baulked at.
John, it is half past eleven and Dominic and I are reading your posts and the comments before rustling up our midnight snack and watching some old classic.
He was really pleased to see your reply and acknowledgement that he is your youngest reader (he is quite proud of that). He is helping me write a new post at the moment. I have realised that I only post when he is with me.
I merely suggested a JG version of letters from America. Diane reckons only the silver screen would do you justice...
jacq
ReplyDeletethey love it!
(without tomato sauce)
tom and diane!
I will see what I can do
You crack me up, I love reading about your antics!
ReplyDeleteLouise beat me to it, I was going to say they look like vultures too.
Ugh. Frozen pipes are no fun. :(
ReplyDeleteYour poor guineas look quite cold. I will have to remember that trick with the spaghetti when we finally get our own poultry. :)
I do hope Chris gets back safely!
Frozen pipes are the pits!
ReplyDeleteThe guinea hens look miserable.
Your a true friend to your birds John.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip about using a hairdryer for frozen pipes...hopefully though I wont ever have to use it for that.
I don't think you have to worry about towering infernos or capsizing ocean liners John. You've got a "Day After Tomorrow" catastrophe shaping up over there! Helicopters flash freezing in the sky, snowshoers dangling from the skylights of buried malls, and a Christmas-tree-scene equivalent in the New York City Public Library, with Jake Gyllenhaal urging everyone to stay while the uniformed official (they're ALWAYS in a freaking uniform!)leads the majority of people off to their slow and frozen deaths. I agree with Maura though...I think that after some initial hand wringing and nasal complaints, you'd be a godsend to have around in a disaster.
ReplyDeletexxx Dia
What you say about the postie rings true for other workers too. I was talking to a guy who works for the council picking litter and emptying waste paper bins and during the bad weather they were getting loads of flack from the public because they were sitting around all day in their truck trying to keep warm whilst watching the people slipping on there backsides on the ice. It seems however that it isn't their fault, they volunteered to clear snow from the paths as they couldn't pick litter but they were told that it wasn't their job, it seems that you need to have certain requirements to shovel snow that only the highways department hold. I'm all for health and safety but it seems to me that things have gone to far and that instead of leveling our fury at postie's and litter pickers who are only doing as they are told we should be harassing the idiots who come up with these stupid rules.
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say in a disaster I'd be right there with you in the panic department! Having spent one tearful weekend without central heating and hot water, then yet another without any electricity, I know now that freshly washed hair is the vital cog in any smallholding machine! Hope you and yours have a fab Christmas xxxx
ReplyDeleteSorry to read of the frozen pipes. I enjoyed the Poseiden Adventure and Towering Inferno references!! Glad you've finally received your mail (posts) especially at this time of year.
ReplyDeleteStrangely enough, we live in an area of Australia that is subject to extremes - our summers are hot and humid, our winters cold and icey - and frozen pipes is not an uncommon occurrence here. It usually happens about 5 am on a bitter dark morning when Rhonda wants to shower before heading off for her morning shit and results in my standing outside in my 'jammies' slippers and dressing gown with the hair dryer trying to defrost the water pipes to the bathroom. (My neighbour, a council worker, thinks that's funny as the sod has his shower the night before and laughs at me as he leaves for work! I call out "Have a good day!" as I sneak back to my warm doonah!)
ReplyDeleteOoops - Red Faces - Rhonda is heading off for her morning shift!
ReplyDeleteToo funny! We had frozen pipes too a few times - but here in snowy frosty Quebec, it's not that unusual in old houses. And yes, we too used a hairdryer!
ReplyDeleteAnya @ http://catwhisperer.blogspot.com/2010/12/so-this-is-christmas.html
John -
ReplyDeleteIf you have the old metal pipes, you can also use an iron to "thaw" the pipes. Best bet is to leave the water running at a bare trickle on really cold nights. (Hints from cold and snowy Minnesota) Katie
I'm with the hens on that one ... What's the point of going out in the cold? I can see it just fine from inside ...
ReplyDeleteThink it is going to be a cold and snowy winter everywhere.
Oh joy!
Stay warm and try to keep your pipes warm as well.
Teri♥♥♥
I really appreciate your professional approach. These are pieces of very useful information that will be of great use for me in future. Thanks for it.
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