Black eyed piss head

If you have not read the previous post then this one won't make too much sense!

Apparently I should have been wearing specs when I was a child!
Or so said the nice, Father Christmas -ish ophthalmologist who tested my eyes this afternoon.
He was so sweet and full of positive reinforcement statements (every time I read out the correct letters from a line he murmured a reassuring and heartfelt " well done!!" I found myself rather enjoying the whole experience...and so eager I was to please I actually forgot about the invasive lurking with the eye torch and the peppermint breath on my cheek.

When I lived in Sheffield ( yes THE Sheffield which is now under a two foot blanket of snow) I used to wear glasses for reading..they were awful Harry Potter monstrosities which were almost destroyed by an over indulgence of fine white wine at All Bar One ( as I was reminded in the last post by the elephantine memory abilities of Mr Bel-Ami)

The toilets of All Bar One are thoughtfully situated in the basement...and to get to them Joe Public has to negotiate a wooden ( YES wooden) staircase which resembles a ladder!

 Many MANY moons ago Bel and I were putting the world to rights over several bottles of white and Red!
I vaguely remember being urbane and witty (with a big fat red face) and Bel was being all mysterious and Diva-ish when flirting with (what we later realised) was a psychopathic bar man!

Towards the end of the evening I tried to answer the call of nature and literally took flight halfway down the staircase!
My specs went for a burton (the barman found them later and mysteriously kept them!!!!) and all I remember was that I headbutted the door at the bottom of the staircase with my left eye! before bouncing back to my feet ( like drunks do)  as if nothing had happened......

I must have looked a right lush when I returned to the table as though I had slipped out for a brief chat .........for I sported  a HUGE black and rapidly closing eye!!!!........ and I can't believe that we continued our evening like two old ladies enjoyed a cream tea!
oh the silliness of youth