Another Day.....Another challenge

Last night I was sat in front of the fairy lights minding my own business with a gin and tonic,

when Constance ambled over, straddled my outstretched leg with the grace of a somewhat rotund lap dancer and proceeded to rub her....(coughs loudly.....errrmmmm.........coughs again) well ..."toilet parts" all over my shins

This sexual molestation continued until Chris pointed out that large streaks of bloody mucus were being deposited up and down the entire length of my pant leg and within a millisecond I had managed to free myself from Constance who had a look of pure sleepy rapture on her face! ( if she could have smoked a cigarette at this point I think she would have done)

Our bulldog is in season! and me thinks that I am the "object of her affections!".....for days now I have caught her hiding coquettishly within a nest of cushions on the couch or secretly rubbing her bum on the frozen concrete of the patio...but I was hoping that she was just cold or suffering from an "odd" itch!
(time for an airing of the carpet cleaner I suspect...oh the joys of a rampant sex starved, genital wagging  bulldog! )

HEY(BLEEDING) HO!

I will leave you with an amusing Christmas list from the great web site

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/.......

Sandra has not been a good sister me thinks