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| A wry entry on http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/ |
As you can appreciate, there are many many people that abuse the law and I have become rather "anal" about the number of times I have had close shaves with speeding motorists when negotiating the village's single zebra crossing
This morning I took all three dogs out at 8.30am to deliver some eggs. We dropped the eggs off , walked around the village then made our way back towards the school as all the children were arriving for assembly.
As we got up to the zebra crossing a mother with a little boy appeared on the other side of the road and both she and I stopped to check the traffic before we crossed.
But the approaching 4 x 4 just didn't stop, it slowed down somewhat allowing me to step forward, then bloody well carried on driving past me as I stood there out on the crossing bubbling with indignant anger.
"Bastard!" I shouted out rather too loudly and I found myself instinctively lobbing a substantial plastic bag full of dog poo at the truck as it carried on its way.
It was a lucky shot!
The bomb landed quite nicely in the open trailer with a satisfying "plop"
Luckily the driver carried on seemingly unawares....
As I crossed towards home the mother gave me a smile... and I giggled at myself all the way down to the cottage...
I am such an arse!
Well done, John. There is a lit zebra crossing right outside our place and pedestrians are constantly having to dive out of the way cars which have shot the red light. Not usually carrying a bag of poo (yet) I often resort to kicking them. What IS the matter with them?
ReplyDeleteGood shot, Sir!
ReplyDelete(Of course I do not recommend that particular action - you never know what 'nutter' is driving that 4x4! LOL!)
John, GOOD FOR YOU!! I also have to admit that I've done the same thing with a 'bag of dog do' and felt pretty good about it--It is indeed a rewarding sound and was one time when having multiple big dogs and having to clean up after them came in rather handy...THANKS for starting my day off with a good grin! :-D !!
ReplyDeleteI love you, John! Tee hee hee. My lady said that she laughed and laughed when she thought of that scene at the zebra crossing. That and you giggling to yourself all the way home! Thank you for leaving a note on my blog to tell me that the next new friend at your house will be a GOAT! Weeeeee! Make sure it's a beautiful one like ME! XXX OOOO
ReplyDeleteOne can only hope the bag gave way, to let the contents spatter and slide!
ReplyDeleteI think jerky drivers are universal!
Haha - goood on ya'.
ReplyDeleteHope he/she got the message...loud and clear!
ReplyDeleteHave to say, Ontario drivers default to the pedestrian for the most part. One reason, when my mother visited us while we were living in London, I almost had a heart-attack watching her cross the road. She would blithely step off the pavement, expecting traffic to just stop all the while looking in the wrong direction!
Ah revenge is a dish to be served cold, well slightly tepid in this case I suspect. Nicely done John tis only a shame that you weren't walking an elephant!
ReplyDeleteBest regards,
John
Just wait till that driver finds his prize! But really you should not have done that, a driver who disregards a mom with child and a man with 3 dogs just does not care and thankfully none of you were not hurt. Lecture over.
ReplyDeleteWe have a neighbor who actually posts signs like the picture in your post. This is an anal fellow who lays on his grass and picks up stray leaves that the rake misses with tweezers. Whenever I walk by with my 4 dogs he will grudgingly say hello. I make him do it. xo
LOL Good One John! I can just picture you lopping that baggie in the fellows vehicle. I'm glad the mother saw the humour in it and smiled. Where's the police in the mornings or when schools out?! Anyway...I hope you have a wonderful day.
ReplyDeleteMaura :)
Good going John! You can be on my team anytime! But then again, you are, aren't you?!
ReplyDeleteJim
Do you know how many times i have wished I had a bag of poo to sling at a crazy driver about to hit me in the middle of a pedestrian crossing??? Lucky you.
ReplyDeletewell hopefully they'll get the hint!!!
ReplyDeleteGill in Canada
Good one! Yeah ...there is no geographical boundary for stupid divers! Here in KY. everybody is a NASCAR driver ... or thinks they are or wants to be ..... I have figured out tho ... I think it is a form of population control that works! LoL ....
ReplyDeleteHave a good one!
Teri♥♥♥
Bravo!!!
ReplyDeleteTeri
ReplyDeletewas is a NASCAR driver?
Hilairious! LOL Man kind of emotional outburst. :O)
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear that you have the assorted idiots and lamebrains in your neck of the woods, so to speak. At least you had 'the last word', of sorts.
ReplyDeleteGiggle. The image is hilarious.
Cat
You go John, power to the people! :D
ReplyDeleteI wonder why everyone thinks their live will be so much better by being impatient and taking rather than giving. I mean how much worse off would the guy have been if he'd stopped and let you cross, and dare I even suggest, giving you a friendly wave?
ReplyDeletebelieve me I have been involved in around a dozen "near misses" in the time we have lived here....
ReplyDeleteYou are a lovely arse!!! Good throw!
ReplyDeleteWe have the same kind of drivers here too. Always in a hurry. Or they think they own the damn road. Or too busy yapping on their cell phones ( which by the way is illegal to use while driving).
It's been a bit since I have had the chance to stop in to see what is new and am glad i did today.
Thanks for the good hearty laugh! xoxo
ROFL are you sure your not part Italian? That is something my short fused Italian honeyman would do ROFL...
ReplyDeleteI can just bet that made you giggle the rest of the way home :O).
Tex
ReplyDeleteI make myself laugh at myself on a daily basis
Hmmmmm. Serendipitous...how many people are lucky enough to have a bag of poo to hand (a bag of POO no less!!!)just when you need it most? It was like a warm, moist, malodorous metaphor come to life. An obscenity incarnate! :-) (I'll stop now...but the image will stick for a while I'm sure.)
ReplyDeleteDia
John you make me laugh on a daily basis
ReplyDeletethats my job!
ReplyDeleteSuperb!! That story made my day! Carry on! I shall consider carrying extra bags of greyhound (or goat) berries for this exact purpose!
ReplyDeleteThat's creased me up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my place.