Gentle finds it's own level and the politics of grief

My pockets are usually crammed with all kinds of shit. I suppose that they have become my version of a woman's handbag, dog treats, bits of paper, some cash (not alot), plastic bags, pens, paper , a small bottle of poultry antibiotics and as usual my knackered old camera, all have been pushed into every corner and crevice.

At 8am a sparrow hawk dive bombed the huge flock of chattering sparrows in the Hawthorn hedge, but he moved far too fast for me to snap a photograph of his successful attack...however I did take a snap of the ghost hens waddling out of their coop. Nothing too interesting in that, I hear you say....well yes AND no, for if you look closely you can see one of the brown hybrids creeping out behind the lead girls.
As a rule hens do not change hen houses. The house they are introduced to, is the house they stay in, but the little brown hen, that was hatched in the spring has taken herself from the main coop ( with 15 other hens) and has effectively moved in with the ghosts.
I have put this down to bullying. She is a gentle little soul and the old lags of the bigger coop do resemble a troupe of knackered old prostitutes that swear and spit, so it looked as though she had packed her bags and moved in with the benign battery hens who have taken to her like Aunt Marilla did with Anne of Green Gables.........
I think that all this was rather sweet
not everything in nature is tooth and claw.


The bickering and fickle nature of hens can be mirrored in the relationships we can see within some families. A friend of mine has recently lost his father, and is at this very moment experiencing that awful family tension where some relatives feel that they have a bigger "stake" in the death than other family members do.
Now I can understand perfectly why the dynamics within families can be tested when a loved one dies. Cracks within relationships can widen, minor feuds and jealously can intensify, that will happen with any major stressor, but I am always baffled by the "one upmanship" that can occur, especially in between friends, when one person's grief is seen as more important or bigger than everyone elses.......
This selfishness within the grief experience is hard to deal with. My friend is managing by stepping back from the conflict and by concentrating upon his own feelings rather than those of the more vocal members of his family. But we all need to have our own grief acknowledged not only by the important people around us but more importantly by ourselves perhaps that is why this "contest of grief reaction" actually occurs..... it is a way of having our pain and trauma recognised and accepted...........

It's easier being a chicken...........