The homophobia of 1962 mid America was perfectly judged in the movie A Single Man. Living in 2010, I can honestly say that bigotry and prejudice never really features in our present day lives and existence. Now I am sure that they (the bigots) are there! I know for sure that there is a "Christian" faction within the village that despises our existence, but to be honest it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I don't see homophobia because I just don't look for it.
Now, is that because I fit into that heterosexual stereotype image of middle class professional? ( at 11 hours a week at the hospital, perhaps that is pushing it!)..... a professional that is "settled down" with dogs, a garden, a mortgage and with a partner who is a Doctor and who has a great repertoire of curt one liners?
I think there must be some truth in all that. Being a part of a partnership, being a part of a couple does perhaps makes us feel "part of the group" as it were. In this world of "twosomes", having a partner does I guess makes life and the whole damm living thing a whole lot easier, and even today, in our enlightened times, it oils the wheels of social interaction and community a little more than it once did.
However I digress.
In the movie, Colin Firth's character had to suffer the painful rejection by his dead partner's family. To them, the relationship was seen as nothing more than a moral embarrassment, and that disregard IS something I have experienced from certain family members many years ago. Thankfully by a process of osmosis, patience and natural (charm! ) things got ironed out quite nicely and today it never crosses my mind that I wouldn't have the same say and status within my relationship with Chris as the Queen has with Prince Philip!
It is just a given to me.
Anyhow, I am working nights tonight, so Sunday will be a quieter day. No trips out, no birthday treats for Sorrel. Tomorrow we take her to Bodysgallen Hall for afternoon tea (so English you could scream), but today it is Sunday lunch at home, Church for her and Chris and some planting out for me.
Yes, I think we have discussed this at length on previous occasions. The ‘issue’ is, in general, not homophobia - the issue is heteronormativity. For the reasons below, I think you are quite right in saying that "In this world of "twosomes", having a partner does I guess makes life and the whole damm living thing a whole lot easier"
ReplyDeleteThe identity described by some as “gay” is now (here in the EU) firmly located within heteronormative discourse, policy and practice. To be in a “gay relationship” has (bigots of all faiths aside) become legitimised through stealthy colonisation by a (largely) middle-class and heterosexual establishment.
The claim by this group - that ‘gay equality’ has been achieved - is a chimera. I would suggest that this particular form of ‘acceptance’ is simply another form of disciplining and social control. i.e. ‘Homosexuality’ is fine, as long as it confirms to a heteronormal template.
Our language now contains many legitimising devices, e.g. the vernacular use of “partner” offers a salve for those who use it, whilst disguising its oppressive subtext and robbing it of sex entirely (which, in the New Order of heteronormal politics, we pretend doesn’t exist).
This is, of course, not saying that this ‘disciplining’ does not carry advantage to those who are its subjects, i.e. just because you are disciplined and controlled doesn’t mean that at an individual level you cannot achieve happiness: to borrow a rather dated view, the poor may indeed be ‘happy’, but it is still possible to consider them as oppressed.
The outcome of this for heteronormals is all quite positive, of course. On a simple level, media characterisations (e.g. the lazy and insulting portrayal of ‘Adam’ and ‘Ian’ in The Archers) generally reflect homosexual practice in a hetero-normal mode.
More subtly, the advantages of hetero-normally configured relationships – often invisible to, or unquestioned by those who benefit from them the most – tacitly reflect the prejudices of a society where the only legitimate social relationships are those that are ‘binary’.
Single accommodation supplement, anyone?
Two-for-one offers at the supermarket?
Hello?
Do I still exist?
Nx
you do exist Nige! and I see your point perfectly.
ReplyDeleteMost of us (and I do mean me) take the path of least resistance when it comes to life.....we live as we are used to and as we have been brought up ( or in many cases how we would have liked to have been brought up).....
would I want to be be single again? the answer to that is quite simply no- I am very happy with Chris....having said that I am not frightened of being single (remember how many bloody years I was a spinster of the parish?)
yes it does make many things harder,in so much as conforming to couple-ist society, but it does make one develop deep and lasting friendships and indeed gives you the insenstive to keep them, as you and I have done over the years.
I mean insentive ( the last sentence)!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think you mean "incentive".
ReplyDelete"Spinster of the parish", oh yes. You possess more than just a passing resemblance to Geraldine Granger, methinks. Nx
Oh geeze, I feel like I am listening in on a private conversation. Who's gay??
ReplyDelete