Grumpy Old Women

Last night I caught a re run of the tv programme Grumpy Old Women, the talking heads show, where celebrity middle aged ladies grumble about the woes of life.
Now, I not going to complain here! In fact the whole series is quite hilarious, especially as I found myself agreeing with everything these women had to say about the trials and contradictions of life.
Here are my recent top 3 gripes

• People talking in the cinema
• People speeding through the village
• People talking to animals as if they understand English

People talking in the cinema

Now, this is my biggest bugbear! and the older I get the less tolerant I have become of this discourteous and unthinking practice. When we were at the Scala recently enjoying George Clooney at his most flirtatious, two lads at the back of the cinema were indulging in what could only be described as a full blown and animated debate! After a brief, rather British moment of tutting, I got up, walked slowly (and you always have to walk slowly for the best dramatic effect!) over to where they were sitting and leaning right over them said in a loud firm voice " can you both shut up right now?"I have always found this direct approach to be the best action as it not only embarrasses the chattering culprit but it gives a warning to the rest of the audience to keep quiet!

Now, I don't discriminate with other social groups here! In my experience older ladies at the arthouse cinema in Theatre Clwyd are the worst offenders, and all have to be treated in exactly the same manner.....firm and fair (much to the embarrassment of Hazel, who can be often seen sliding down her seat almost onto the floor!) The last time I told two well dressed matrons off, I received a "hear hear!!" from people in the back row!

People speeding through the village

I am becoming obsessed with speeders! Balancing on the narrow pavements, often with two dogs in tow, I now seem to have the innate ability to judge when someone is driving "dangerously" over 30 miles an hour and offenders often have to "suffer" the surprise and shock of me, and middle aged man in a silly woolly hat, pointing at them with a disgusted look on my face whilst mouthing "TOO FAST!!!! TOO FAST!!!!!" in an exaggerated Helen Keller type of way

We have a zebra crossing in the village, and sometimes when I am waiting to cross it, drivers will ignore the fact that I am standing there and will drive ahead regardless....I now have a somewhat devilish plan to shock these kind of drivers, and occasionally will make a big exaggerated show of stepping forward (with no intention of walking out!) subsequently the drivers have to slam on their brakes and I can walk out in front of them smiling sweetly and bathed in the warmth of a small victory !

People that talk to animals as if they understand English

Now I have blogged about this subject before and it drives me NUTS! so much so, that when I go to the vets and have to sit in the waiting room with the usual crowd of fellow pet owners, I will do so only when I am listening to my digital radio so I don't have to listen to the drivel that some people come out with!

I remember one lady that had a badly behaved collie which was snapping and growling at every other animal in the room. She talked to the animal constantly in a strange sing song voice, telling it it was a "bad dog" and explaining at length why it was there,what was going to happen to it and why it should behave a little better!

After 20 minutes of this constant chatter and her inability to control her unsocialized animal , I was beside myself and when I finally went in to see the vet, I turned to her and said "I would give up, if I was you, he obviously does not understand English!"

................It is official........I AM a grumpy old git!