You tend to get used to some aspects of human misery when you are a nurse. It is not the nicest part of the job, nor is it one that you should ever get blasé about, but when you consistently have to deal with families in crisis you kind of develop a nose for the unbalanced and stressed.
Today was a case in point. I went into work at 4pm, (I was on the unenviable 4pm to 8pm shift) and as I walked into the hospital (looking like Rebecca of Sunnybrook farm-complete with trug of vegetables and 2 dozen eggs for sale. I saw a middle aged woman smoking a cigarette. She looked rather down at heel. Hair a mess, clothes crumpled , forefinger stained with nicotine. She stank of stale beer and was sporting the start of a black eye, and I couldn't help thinking that there was something incredibly forlorn and sad about her resignation and isolation.
She must have touched a nerve with me, for as I passed, I stopped and asked if she was ok.
The woman smiled, but it was a long sad smile and she shook her head
"Just kids........ ", she said "they always let you down, no matter what you do and say for them......don't they?"
I nodded and eventually walked on, there was little I could say or do.....but the image of this disappointed lonely woman has remained with me all evening.
I know what it is like to be disappointed by a parent....sometimes that is just the way of the world, but being let down by your children seems to have a cold hardness about it....., and that in itself must be a very bitter pill to swallow, especially when you think your child has failed in life because of something you did or didn't do.
Message to self.....thank god we have animals...I couldn't quite cope with the awesome responsibility of children!!!
we've had this conversation, you would be good. Children are hard work, but rewarding, they are demanding but loving, its 27hrs a day poo pee and child politics (which i love). Sometimes you loose sight of the outside world because you are constantly dealing with the next disaster. God i need a holiday
ReplyDeleteI can so very relate to you on this one.
ReplyDeleteI love children but some of the things I see going on out there in the world are scary.
My kids have fur or feathers. I know if I screw up "raising" them they aren't going to be on the national news.
My boys are grown now and it was a long hard road. You never stop worrying about them even when they are grown.
ReplyDeleteNow I have my animals here on the farm. My husband keeps telling me that the animals are much easier to raise than kids, and they hardly ever talk back. But...I do miss those little boys!
I do hope the lady and her children made it alright.
Have a great day.
I feel for that poor woman too. Who knows what caused her to make that remark? My daughter & I talk on the phone at least twice a week, usually more. But I haven't heard my son's voice in 2 years. I miss the closeness we once had, but understand that his wife's whims take top priority. 'Nuff said.
ReplyDelete