" Hold The F*#king Ladder!

" keep your feet on the ladder!"
" I am!"
"Keep it still"
" I'm NOT MOVING"
" All this should have been done last year!"
" DON'T START!"
" I will if I Want"
"Don't pull that bit!!!!"
" I KNOW!!!!!!"
" I'm just saying!"
" I'm getting ANNOYED!"
Etc etc etc

Ahhhhhh the bliss and peaceful banter when husbands decide to cut down some of the overgrown honeysuckle around the front door and guttering.
He's now gone off to Church
I'm lying down in a darkened room

The honeysuckle covered inscription over the front door

It says

In vino veritas

( in wine there's truth)

1674

The "Slippers Of Sex"

24 hours ago , I was sipping white wine spritzers with friends in a nice sophisticated wine bar.
Tonight we are watching some weird shite on tv where a group of " normal human beings" are being hypnotised for the sake of a cheap laugh.
To complicate matters Chris has been wearing Mrs Hopkins' slippers.
Now these slippers , are not just a fashion statement , they are the object of a certain bulldog's " self pollution" behaviour and once worn seem to drive Winnie wild with desire when she is " in the mood"......( I think they are long overdue for a soak in some detergent)
Chris has now dubbed them " The Slippers of Sex"

There's a general understanding that they are not to be worn when we have visitors

Pouring Nu Home

The Leopold Hotel in Sheffield is lovely ( see above)...and right outside ALL BAR ONE, our old stamping ground in Sheffield....it's 1.28am and I feel sober! ( a first for a Sheffield visit)
I have just poured Nuala into her room after she had a somewhat energetic fumble with her peanuts and olives at the hotel bar....(.she was pissed as a fart!)
We caught up with old friends......Some we haven't seen for 20 years.....and we shall have a post-mortem of the evening over a late breakfast
By the look of Nu when I left her.....it will be a very late breakfast
Hey ho

Eclipse

I would like to say that  the pavements of Trelawnyd were thick with open mouthed locals gazing up at the sky this morning, but the truth of the matter was that only Barbara Parry could be seen by the village green, gamely pulling at her unfeasibly large shopping trolley.
Down at Bwthyn -y-Llan, it was just me and the neighbours who were watching the skies

 With the help of a large welding mask, we " enjoyed" the event

 And had a lively discussion about how Prehistoric Trelawnyd folk could have dragged local virgins up The Gop for ritualistic sacrifice during eclipses in history.

Almost dark

All Bar One

Later today I am off to Yorkshire to meet best friend Nu
She is travelling up from London and we are both going to meet some old friends last seen in the Sheffield of the 1990s
We all shall have bigger waists , older faces, wrinkled hands and wiser psychi's since we last met
But the meet up should be fun
All Bar One at 8 pm
50 somethings reliving their salad days
Hey ho

All Bar One Sheffield

You Can Tell It's Spring When..........

The " Beware Hormonal Turkey" sigh  has been reerected on the field fence

Bingley is strutting his testosterone filled body to anything with a pulse

March Flowers sit on the kitchen window sill

And Trelawnyd starts to look green again

I've spent the day clearing the back garden of dead wood, so that the blanket of aquilegia can transform it as April approaches., apart from that, I have made some pies, and sold some eggs to a passerby who palmed some euros instead of pound coins on me

Its all go

The Walking Dead Episode 14 Spend ( spoilers)

Revolving Door disaster...Noah bites the dust

Oh dear.......The Walking Dead has killed off it's third black male character in series 5 which has got all the PC brigade all a quivering
Admittedly killing off Bob, Tyreese and now the rather likable and potentially interesting character of young Noah ( in the most brutal and blood thirsty way) seems all a bit too much but I suspect , I understand just why that has happened, for I believe that the producers needed to cull some black faces to make space for Morgan to return to the " team family" ....I hope that is not the case as it means that the series is becoming ever so slightly formulaic
OMG only two more episodes to go!

One, Two , three.........

My husband, The Professor, is working away again for the next few days and today after dropping him off at the station, I am due to take part in my yearly CPR training.
Contrary to general belief, full cardiac arrests on intensive care are few and far between. this is because most sudden deteriorations in patients' conditions are usually preempted by good medical and nursing practise.
During my thirty odd years as a practising nurse I must have performed resuscitation perhaps 30 times.
28 times in hospital settings and twice in the community
I have performed CPR on a bulldog which was a challenge given the size of her mouth and once brought back an indian runner duck from the dead after she had strangled herself in some netting.

Nowadays , most people have an idea of what to do in the event of a witnessed cardiac event. The training has been simplified so that any lay person can get stuck in, sing the BeeGee's " Staying Alive " to themselves and compress someone's chest successfully.
Resuscitation , thankfully, is not the domain of health care professionals anymore!

I once chatted to a woman who had collapsed outside the Town Hall in Sheffield. She had suffered a full cardiac arrest and was brought back from the brink of death by two workmen in hard hats who had been working on some nearby roadworks.
I asked her what she remembered of the event.
" not much" , she answered " But when I came to, I did remember thinking that that it was slightly odd that one of those blokes had my worst grey bra slung over his shoulder"