Thursday, 14 July 2016

" Would You Just?..."


I hate selling raffle tickets

But it's a job that needs doing.
I know which householder will hide behind the curtains when I knock on the door, and I know who will buy a load from me, but I am not as talented a seller as the master Auntie Glad, who used to sell 500 door to door well into her 90's.
I must have got three dozen requests from Trelawnyd residents about her wellbeing yesterday. Being a diminutive old lady features high in the sympathy stakes when wanting people to be parted from their cash.
My chirpy smiley approach just cannot quite compete.
This afternoon I shall knock on more doors, give out more schedules and schmooze more villagers into entering their impressive blooms and oversized vegetables!
The guy from the still House may enter his bread this year, as will Affable Despot Jason who is thinking twice about giving the Adult novelty veg a go, given that he won second last year with a truly awful butternut squash creation! ( and it was shit).
One of the new residents in the pensioner bungalows used to be a multiple winner in the Mostyn Flower Show and she toyed with me somewhat about entering her baking even though she doesn't like the village.
You've got to be a serial politician doing this job!
Gay Gordon and Big Mary bought a huge handful of raffle tickets from me and cackled and laughed like drains as they did so........while a few doors away one miserable old fart literally slammed the door in my face with a curt " no!" when I waved a raffle book at him.
I'm taking Mary with me this afternoon.
Cute sells!


36 comments:

  1. Can't you simply piggyback Auntie Glad from door to door? She could whip your arse with a riding crop.

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    1. OMB, that image is too insane; auntie glad would never hurt a fly!

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    2. It IS a funny image, though!

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  2. I hate raffles. I would rather just donate to a cause and not collect my prize. I reluctantly bought a raffle ticket at my son's nursery school many years ago. It was Easter parade day at the school and full of children and parents. When they were calling out the 'lucky' winners I looked down at my ticket and realised my number was being called. Before I could put my ticket away the person next to me shouted out 'here's the winner!' I had to walk up in front of loads of people and collect my prize of a very ordinary dress that someone had donated and look happy at the same time.

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  3. I'd buy some from you, mary or no mary. alas, I am across the pond...

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  4. I was thinking surely you could purloin a wheelchair from the hospital and wheel Aunty Gladys around in it from house to house! Then she could do the taking and you could just do the wheeling! Mary might be a help though instead!

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  5. You can do it John! That Flower Show is lucky to have you!! I do hope Aunty Gladys is doing well.........Hugs! deb

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  6. Children are hard to resist, you could borrow a couple.

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    Replies
    1. How about a black lesbian in a wheelchair?

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  7. cute and old sells. middle aged gay, not so much. take winnie.

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    Replies
    1. Tell me like it is why dont you?

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  8. Crabb has resigned.

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    Replies
    1. Good , did she offer him something shite?

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  9. I'm not sure if you've ever told us but what does the revenue from the flower show go towards? I'm sure it's something very worthy.

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  10. I bet Aunty Gladys began with a little dog, too.

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  11. You've reminded me of my childhood experiences of selling Girl Scout cookies around the neighborhood. Even then, I could predict who would wish to buy more than one box.

    I expect that having Mary accompany you on your mission will drive up sales.

    Best wishes.

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  12. I always seem to get lumbered with scrounging raffle prizes, but they dont ask after my last effort for playgroup, half a ton of manure and a 5ft wooden mummy sign what more could they ask for

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  13. You have to have the kind of face that people give money to - I never did well selling anything. Best take Mary along.

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  14. I don't mind selling raffle tickets from an information desk but person to person is more daunting however if I choose carefully I can sell them at village functions like one I saw Indian Elvis & a Michael Buble tribute singer. People are generally happier to part with cash once they've had a couple of drinks!

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  15. I just clicked Auntie Gladys and discovered a whole 'nother world. You could pin her to your lapel.

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  16. John, I would like to buy five pounds worth for such a good cause. Can you tell me by e mail who to make the cheque out to please? If I should win a prize we will the decide what to do with it - we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

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  17. Pat thats lovely , just make it payable to The Trelawnyd Flower show and

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  18. Weaver what a great idea for a worthy cause so far away from some of the blog readers,
    I need to find if there is still time for me to enter.
    Set Auntie Glads up in a special spot in a comfy chair under a sun shade and let her sell if up to it.
    Only if she wants to.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  19. You should put a link on the blog for your loyal readers to click and buy raffle tickets! You'd sell out in no time!

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    Replies
    1. Please do that. I would want you to keep the tickets and give them to someone local who might need them.

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    2. I wouldnt know how? Any ideas?

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  20. You are doing a sterling job John, cute does sell, I always take my son out with me when I'm delivering leaflets the grannies love him :) x

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  21. By the way, I know this is unbelieavable, but I watched the very first episode of the Walking Dead yesterday (I'm so behind the times)I have never seen it before. I have a crush on Andrew Lincoln already, but I always did like him in This Life, oh hum, plenty to catch up on while I'm doing my boring ironing.

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  22. Alternate between taking Mary and Winnie, John. Doesn't the Prof help out - I bet he's a smooth talker !

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  23. I was going to say you need to take a dog with you, either Mary or Winnie or lovely little George then you'd sell loads.

    Get them practising looking sad and ignored before you go!

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  24. Some people just don't understand that their money is buying more than a chance on a prize, it's buying community spirit and a place that's good to live in.

    Good luck from a fellow cringing salesperson!

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  25. I still think I was robbed the year before last with my novelty veg Volkswagen camper van, lol.

    P.S. Milo and I are making our entry this week!

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  26. To sell your raff ticks here---reate a Paypal Donate widget for your sidebar. Here is a link.

    https://www.paypal.com/webapps/mpp/get-started/donate-button

    If you want I can show you a blog with it set up.

    lizzy

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    Replies
    1. create, not "reaete"

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    2. Please do this, John Gray. Hey, when you get older and wiser will you turn into John White, like a wizard?

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  27. I remember grandkids and kids having to sell raffle tickets to raise money for one thing or another at school...I got so sick of asking co workers and family to help that I'd end up buying most of them myself. I looked at it as having a better chance of winning the prize for myself and saving a big amount of time! God bless Auntie Glad!

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