Monday, 27 July 2015

Do You Like Melons?


The Prof's family have a beach hut on Broadstairs beach. They have had one for a couple of generations. Apparently you " stake" your beach area with judicial usage of chairs, wind breaks and an assortment of plastic furniture so that no member of the general public ventures within a gnat's crotchet of your encampment.....Think the settlement of Alexandria in The Walking Dead and you will get my gist......
The Prof made himself comfortable as Sorrel and I had a chat about nothing....these "nothing"conversations drive him to distraction.......which makes them even more entertaining.
Sorrel " I love slices mango and melon"
John: " Do you?........I am a bit partial to pineapple chunks myself"
Sorrel: " Really?"
The Prof " harrumphs" at this point.
John " yes......especially tinned pineapples"
Sorrel" thats strange, I would have thought you'd go for fresh

Brief silence

Sorrel: " Do you like raspberries John?"
John " I've gone off them a bit "
Sorrel " hum"
John:" they are a bit bland, the ones from the supermarket"

Sorrel " What about strawberries?"
The Prof then sighs very loudly and shifts in his deck chair
John" Oh I love stawberries ! ........"
Sorrel " I love them too"
Prof ( under his breath ) " oh For fuck's sake"

Long silence

Sorrel " John......what Are your thoughts on passion fruit?"
The Prof screaming into the wind " OH MY GOD........I WAS ADOPTED!!!!!!"

47 comments:

  1. Great conversation ! Get the prof some ear plugs. Have you got your shorts on too? It must be warmer there than it is here today.

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  2. Small talk is a form of bonding. This is from a Harvard Business School article, but applies to real life too: ..."the ability to make effective small talk is essential for creating a quick sense of rapport .... small talk is essential to bond [relationships]...."

    Maybe the Prof needs to work on his skills? In a good way, of course.

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  3. Oh My Goodness, the Professor would despise my conversations. I usually start right in the middle of a statement.
    You are a bit squished there. I hope the neighbors don't show up.
    I looks like some sun is trying to show up.

    cheers, parsnip

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  4. We used to love beach hut holidays when the kids were small and we had a beach hut holiday in Broadstairs once.
    What do you think about Figs? greengages?

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    1. We have a wonderful crop of Greengages this year; I'm freezing them by the ton.

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  5. I am with the Prof on this one. Mango - pahrumph!

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  6. You stick to you nonsense conversations - that's the way to relax and that is exactly what you need.

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  7. Hahahahahahahahaha!

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  8. The Art of Small Talk!

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  9. bwhahahahahahahaha! too serious for his own good!

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  10. I'm with the Prof on this one...no small talk for me...unless it's about animals...

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  11. Ha, I loved the (very old) series The Odd Couple and (forgive me for saying this) but you and the Prof. seem to be morphing into them (meant in the kindest possible way of course). Anna

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  12. John, sometimes, I believe ... nah better not say it.
    Professor - he could get senile and forget fruit ...

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  13. When do you think the Prof will realise that the more he 'harrumphs' the more random your conversations will get?

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  14. The script is like something from a Samuel Becket play - existential meaninglessness - "Nobody comes. Nobody goes." As for the Prof. Hire a couple of burly lifeguards to bury him in the sand with just his "Bah humbug" visage above the surface.

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  15. John, you make me laugh nearly every day. Thank you!

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  16. What are your thoughts on passion fruit?"
    "OH MY GOD........I WAS ADOPTED!!!!!!"
    Priceless.

    Please inform the Prof that I'm very partial to bananas, satsumas and figs. But I've totally gone off apples.

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  17. Won't he be surprised when he finds out supper is a giant fruit salad...

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  18. Such talk makes my head ache.

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  19. I bet you both do it on purpose!
    And a beach hut! Wow! An MBE, a Professor and a beach hut in the family; ok you're in serious danger of becoming posh; I'm thinking Gosford Park. Have a wonderful holiday. :-)

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  20. So envious of a beach hut and in Broadstairs too, my favourite place and only a short(ish) train ride from me. sigh.
    Its kinda funny but I love small talk, (hilarious fruit chat btw) but feel like the Prof when The FW tries to do it to me, I walk out of the room and he gets the message.........fuck off........
    Sorrel is doing what a lot of nice people do, finding your likes and dislikes because she cares about you.
    Damn shame it has turn freakishly cold. What!
    x

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  21. This was a true LOL moment - I scared the cat with my laughing :)

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  22. you and sorrel would love my sister. she would fit right in. i would be with the prof.

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  23. It was easier for me to talk non-sense with Jay's mother, than my mother. I miss her.

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  24. Hilarious. Willy Dunne Wooters would probably go insane if he listened to my conversations with my children.

    Love,
    Janie

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  25. I love your relationship John, you are priceless xx

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  26. Charm school for the prof.

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  27. Small talk is about bonding and, my gosh, doesn't everyone love strawberries.

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  28. Still chuckling over here. I find the oranges in the store right now are very poor quality. You?

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  29. Your husband must be a riot at cocktail parties!

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  30. Has the Prof not heard of knotted hankies?

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  31. The prof's mother appears to be holding a large stuffed goldfish?

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  32. This put me in mind of a scene in the marvellous 'Early doors' on tv......especially the 'do you like circuses' conversation.......the mister and I still say this sometimes in such situations....and how come its piddling down here but you are on the beach??

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  33. That made me laugh. Love the beach hut x

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  34. I detect an incompatibility here. He needs silence, you a silence-breaker. Oh dear!

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    1. Actually its totally the other way around

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  35. I need help. I go for long walks here on my holiday at this very moment to avoid multitudes of small talk.i could scream.

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  36. Brilliant .... just brilliant!!

    I bet without meaning to you do it all the more,

    I'm totally jealous of the beach hut, although to have one round here at the moment would mean sitting inside it with the doors closed, you've headed in the right direction .... it's done nothing but rain and get colder and colder here since you left .... please when you come home bring the sunshine back with you :-(

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  37. I have to say small talk is not one of my strong points...lol But you did rather well even with the prof background noise...lol Being from the states the idea of a beach hut like that is odd... How many of those things are around? I'm a fan of the beach in Fall or Winter when everyone else stays home.. :) Hugs! deb

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  38. Small talk passes the time well and you get all that useful info!!!

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  39. You guys really should have your own sitcom:)

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  40. Hahahaha! The meaningless conversations we have help us unwind...banality at its best..... love the beach hut... I had forgotten all about them... like a shed on the beach.

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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  41. Damn academic, must everything have footnotes and data?? The Prof seems like a pip.
    I like small talk as it sometimes leads in to more interesting conversations.

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